How do you get over bullying

Post Reply New Topic

I never did.

I was bullied a lot when I was a kid, even though I was like, the biggest kid in school. I have a lot of my high school classmates on my facebook and some of them were my tormentors. Over the years, I've just had to forgive them and let it go for the sake of the larger group. They were kids, too. Kids are very self-centered and naive. I think some actually didn't realize they were bullying me.

And what goes around, comes around. I wasn't the only kid that got bullied and everyone knows who the bullies are. In a way, they are ostracized now for things they did as children even if they've given up their insecure ways.

Hanging onto hate will only hurt you more. (High blood pressure, heart disease, etc...) Why let them hurt you twice?

Also... since I still feel bullied every now and then, my analytical mind has to accept my part in allowing it. I think I'm I'm sometimes too scared to speak up for myself, or I hesitate and end up getting bulldozed when people lack personal integrity, intelligence or their focus is overwhelmed by their own issues.

On thinking about this further, I think ultimately you have to release any hurt or anger, forgive those who hurt you and move forwards from it.

Forgiving is the hardest part, but it can be done if you can view things through compassionate eyes with both understanding for yourself and your own pain and the actions of the other.

Then I think you can 'get' over it. But as long as you carry negative feelings in regards to it, or anger, or hurt/pain, or hatred for those who hurt you...it will forever haunt you.

Better to release it and focus on the future.

One trick I have found is that if you look at it with the view that most bullying exists as a by product of man's pursuit to indulge his ego (not necessarily in an egotistical way) then you tend to be less affected by it.

I guess they are trying to find their way just like everybody else. Sometimes people need to tread a certain pathway in order to learn from it.

It enables you to feel empathy rather than hurt and hatred.

PN do not use this approach to catapult yourself into a position of superiority...this will backfire and does not achieve the desired result which is to be able to remove yourself from fear, hatred and pain. The aim is not to indulge your own ego but to rise above it or rather move beyond it. By moving beyond the ego you can release yourself from any pain the bullying may be inflicting on you.

Many hurt feelings arise from a wounded ego and much hatred can follow as a result of the wounds inflicted.

By moving beyond the ego, you move beyond the pain and the hatred does not follow.

Sibling relationships are tough. We're all at different stages of development and forced to live together. I have one little sister that's always seemed like a pest to me. She was always insisting I include her when I did stuff with my friends but she's 6 years younger and when we were kids, she didn't have the abilities to always be able to tag along and when we let her play games with us, she cheated. She was literally a drag. To her, I was excluding her. I treated her like she was stupid when she was just younger. We were both a little stuck in that child mindset until we worked it out.

I never have. I was repeatedly bullied in school. There are times that I don't think about it but when it happens (even slightly) now I'm thrust back to then. It's awful.

I tend to focus on negative things that happen now & forget the positive. My therapist says this makes sense from my past. I'm trying to work on it though.

I got over it as an adult. Once I realized I was being a hypocrite because I did some bullying myself as a kid. I liked teasing as a child and since people didn't like that, that would classify as bullying because I wouldn't stop.

Also I did it to fit in so kids would think I was just as good as them and not stupid and they would like me and accept me and I wouldn't be an outcast anymore. Plus I thought it was something you are supposed to do because other kids did it. But did bullying others work? No, I was still different and kids still teased me and made fun of me.

So I then realized that maybe some other kids bullied me was because of peer pressure and maybe they did it too because they wanted to fit in and not be picked on either, a pecking order they call it. So after this realization, I was over it. We're even, they bullied me, I bullied others so we're even. Move on so that's what I did. Plus I think I also deserved some of the bullying I got. I can remember the things my mother used to tell me what not to do if I don't want kids running away from me or telling me to go away or don't want them teasing me.
Plus I have read bullying stories online and they all seemed worse than what I got so what am I being upset over? But yet it pisses me off when my husband says I was so lucky because at least I "got attention."