Staring vs Lack of Eye Contact

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im usually very confused about eye contact cause not only does it deviate my mind from the actual conversation, but it also leaves me confused as to where exactly am i supposed to look at a persons face, sometimes i focus too narrowly that i get confused which eye to look at, or should i stare back at both eyes at the same time, and how can that be possible, and i keep moving back from one eye to the other and next minute i have missed most of what was being said .
i usually do prefer to look away, but what i have noticed is that sometimes i want to look at the persons face when they talk not as anything social but to be able to read their expression to know what their words stand for, maybe some old reflex since peoples intentions can not always be read from their voice so one tends to miss one channel of information..
while sitting in a lecture this gets crazy cause i might look at the person maybe just to focus into the topic and not get distracted but it gets painful when the professor assumes that im making eye-contact and starts to look back expecting me to respond and then i just miss out much of what is said and nod my head every 5 seconds :S

Well, I'm an adult, and I still these exact same issues with the whole eye contact thing in conversations. Back when I was in school, I really didn't yet realize it was a problem. I just wondered why I was constantly getting reactions that didn't seem to match what I was expecting from people. I never realized the extent to which most people rely on body language and expression, since I never did so myself. Even once I realized that I had a problem with all this, it still took me a number of years to figure out that there were others like me and there was a name for the condition.

But while I manage to get by out reasonably well and to succeed in the "real world" because of years of developing coping mechanisms and studying how others interact and communicate, I know that my eyes and body language still hold me back a good deal. I just always seem to be a little off in my timing, and NTs seem to unconsciously pick up on even the slightest lags or deviations in eye movements and interpret them as insincerity or worse.

I get uncomfortable when people stare at me for long periods of time. The worst are the guys down at the CFRC (Canadian Forces Recruiting Centre) near me, they literally do NOT break eye contact with you the entire time you're there.

I'm about 20 now and I had NO clue that eye contact was even a thing to consider until about 2 years ago. I NEVER maintained eye contact and nobody really ever told me about it. Now, knowing what I know now, I try to look people in the eye, but It just seems like I cant, It kinda hurts in a way (not really physically but mentally). Most of the time, I either don't make eye contact or I just stare people down, but this makes me come off as SUPER aggressive (which is easy for me to do unintentionally) and to be honest makes me want to jump out of my skin. Ever since I stumbled upon the whole Eye contact topic, I have been over analyzing to the point of obsession. I just dont know where to look and what interval to do it at, I'm like that trapped scared mouse that doesn't know which way to go its so Confusing....

I've been told I have a really intense, piercing gaze and whether I make eye contact or not I come off as intimidating.

In a similar way, I've had some success with trying to "soften" my vision and trying to take in the entire eye slit area.

I like to think of my awesomest eye contact as my personal blessing upon those not fortunate enough to have as awesomest eye contact as I have. Those I converse with on important matters, I bless with Medusa Gaze. Those I pay money to for feedings, I bless with Air Stare. Those I pay money to for not feedings, I bless with La-La Look. My persons and objects of affection, I bless with Eye of Sauron and sweet'n'sour eberrythings, yum yum yum.

Oops, I forgot to define my terminology:

Medusa Gaze: Stare intensely at eyes and other facial features, examining all freckles, moles, zits, wrinkles, nosehairs, eyehairs, tooth ridges, etc etc etc, in detail while conversing with person.

Air Stare: Unfocus eyes around plane halfway between self and other while handing over $$$ and snatching up feedings.

La-La Look: Focus eyes on Coca-Cola box structure on opposite side of store while handing over $$$ and snatching up not feedings, but desirable things, e.g. toilet paper, toothpaste, zit cream.

Eye of Sauron: Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, Person or Object, Computer, etc etc etc.