NT/AS/ASD question answer based on neurology

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I'm envious of gifted NTs really. A lot of the advantages of AS, without a lot of the disavantages. I may even be then able to work out things on my own.

I'm most jealous of people who just know what to say in any given situation; people who can start a conversation, and who can keep it interesting, and who don't ramble and get caught up in what they are saying instead of the whole social exchange part of it.

For Aspies, (and some NTs) socializing is an intellectual exercise. Instead of just knowing what to do, some of us have to think about it, like moving pieces on a chess board. Thinking things like "am I making too much eye contact, or not enough?" Or 'when is it okay to tell someone something private about me, to up the ante intimacy-wise?" Or "when is it okay to touch someone?"

It's no wonder some of us are so tired after dealing with people. We've been playing an intellectually taxing game like chess, sometimes for hours on end.

I have some Aspie qualities. I just wish I had some of that Aspergian genius to go with it. Maybe I do, somewhere inside of me.

Conversational skills aside, I would very much welcome if I could learn and apply factual information (mainly verbal) as easily as others can at about the same overall intelligence level. Also, combining information, coming up with tactics, strategies quickly and effortlessly, remembering facts and other information from the past normally, not slowly and erroneously like I do.

Commit less errors and forget less important things when I'm doing something.

People who manage to find and maintain a successful romantic relationship.

My quirks get in my way where that is concerned, but I like my quirks. I also like love and sharing bonds...

But alas, my quirks and relationships don't mix well.

Also those who can make friends..but again, similar issues to above. Apart from which people see me as weird and in the most part avoid me. I know people see me as weird because they tell me. The other day I was called eccentric by a neighbour but, when it comes to the general public, I am no stranger to hearing comments like:

"She is in a world of her own"
"she is a sandwich short of a picnic"
"She is not quite all there"
"She is quirky"

and so on...

On the other hand, in an academic environment I was labelled as "extremely intelligent" (the words of my college tutors, not mine).

My tutors also told me I had the ability to spot things others missed and make/find connections others did not make, but if I do that too often people look at me like I have just lost my mind because they can't see or understand what I am talking about (ie they can't see the relationship between the factors that I am trying to explain)

As a result most people just label me as Mad, Mentally Ill, eccentric or off my rocker...not because I run around out of control in a way that makes me dangerous or anything (actually I am more the quiet studious type that disappears with my studies for days on end and forgets to socialise because I am so absorbed in my work) but because I seem to think differently to the majority in many ways.

Combine those areas and I end up confusing the hell out of most people, which is mutual, because most people confuse the hell out of me lol

However, I will add, that I am not jealous enough of those who can hold relationships/friendships to want to give up my particular set of oddities...I like my brain and the way it thinks and I like my eccentricities. Plus they can be useful in the right environment or context (Ie they used to allow me to excel academically and, combined with my super charged memory in that way, resulted in my being an A average in that area, even if my grammar and punctuation has gotten awful lately lol).

PN I may have a good memory for academics but my memory is awful when it comes to knowing what the hell I did with my purse and my house keys! I spend half my life looking for stuff I only just put down, probably because I am not paying attention to where I put them. When it comes to focusing on stuff I don't find interesting I have the attention span of a goldfish. This trait means I can also have trouble following conversations etc that I am not interested in. It does not bode well when it comes to socialising...and neither does my tendency to digress, which I have successfully managed to do here lol. Sorry!

I envy the ability of people with ASDs to genuinely not care what others think of them. I appreciate it doesn't apply to all but from what I can see it looks like a particular strength of many.

I am most jealous of savants who can recall long strings of numbers after just hearing them once.

I'm jealous of how NTs don't have to deal with sensory issues. They suck.

I'm a little jealous of people who actually know when to stop talking and know to think before acting. Nothing to do with this thread, but JUST had to point that out.

I'm most envious of ASP ability to let go of things. Especially in romantic relationships. Of course this does not apply to all, but in my experience I have found that they have a keen ability to just stop talking to someone and don't have that same emotional connection that trumps all logic...They think things through and allow their logic to triumph. (I should admit that I have been in love with an Aspie for over a year and still not over him...) ASP minds are incredibly thoughtful and they think things through before the let their emotions get involved... Jealous!

Also, I love an ASP brain! The ability to recall so many facts and the way you can simply see things as if they were right in front of you. I think of Artists who can see the character on the page before they actually draw it, or the engineer who can see all the electrical circuits and wires connected before even having the materials to build it. It's truly remarkable!