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Why do we have to apologise for who we are?

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Invader
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23 Mar 2012, 5:34 pm

mds_02 wrote:
Invader wrote:
Or it's just a reason why we are sometimes forced to apologise.

Sometimes it's better to just get uncomfortable things over and done with instead of worrying about how unfair everything is.

But then sometimes it is also fun to just completely refuse to apologise and watch everything turn to sh** just to piss everyone off.

It depends on the kind of situation.


I agree with the first statement, that sometimes it's better to just do it. But why is pissing people off fun for you?

I mean, I'm willing to do it if I think it needs doing. But it's never been fun.


If someone is angry at you and wishes to make you unhappy, and you feel that their anger is unreasonable and unjustified, it is very easy for you to enjoy the fact that they are unhappy themselves.

Everyone feels satisfaction when people they dislike are made to suffer in some way. You are no different.

Sweetleaf wrote:
Yeah I try not to do that, but sometimes it seems like things will turn to sh** anyways, so eventually I just have to say f*** it, and do what I want regardless of how it makes everyone else feel or how I think it will make them feel. I am rather sick of trying to live up to other peoples expectations and I feel like by doing that I only waste my life.


Yup, sometimes it feels better to just tell everyone to go f**k themselves instead of trying to please them. It all just depends on whether pleasing/apologising to them puts you in a better situation than having the pleasant relief of ignoring them all. Sometimes it just isn't worth it.

If it's going to get you a decent income and improved life, might be worth it, but if it's not, then nothing of value is lost by not caring about their expectations.



glider18
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23 Mar 2012, 6:10 pm

I do not apologize for who I am with Asperger's. I treat people with respect. Though I do have eccentric ways, I do not apologize for them. And to be honest, many NTs that I work with are downright rude---and they don't apologize.


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Sweetleaf
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23 Mar 2012, 6:36 pm

Invader wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
Invader wrote:
Or it's just a reason why we are sometimes forced to apologise.

Sometimes it's better to just get uncomfortable things over and done with instead of worrying about how unfair everything is.

But then sometimes it is also fun to just completely refuse to apologise and watch everything turn to sh** just to piss everyone off.

It depends on the kind of situation.


I agree with the first statement, that sometimes it's better to just do it. But why is pissing people off fun for you?

I mean, I'm willing to do it if I think it needs doing. But it's never been fun.


If someone is angry at you and wishes to make you unhappy, and you feel that their anger is unreasonable and unjustified, it is very easy for you to enjoy the fact that they are unhappy themselves.

Everyone feels satisfaction when people they dislike are made to suffer in some way. You are no different.

Not necessarily, I don't really like to see people suffer but yeah I would be lying if I said I've never had the urge to either disturb them somehow or I might think its rather funny when something bad happens to them. But I don't really like that...but your right those thoughts are there.


Sweetleaf wrote:
Yeah I try not to do that, but sometimes it seems like things will turn to sh** anyways, so eventually I just have to say f*** it, and do what I want regardless of how it makes everyone else feel or how I think it will make them feel. I am rather sick of trying to live up to other peoples expectations and I feel like by doing that I only waste my life.


Yup, sometimes it feels better to just tell everyone to go f**k themselves instead of trying to please them. It all just depends on whether pleasing/apologising to them puts you in a better situation than having the pleasant relief of ignoring them all. Sometimes it just isn't worth it.

If it's going to get you a decent income and improved life, might be worth it, but if it's not, then nothing of value is lost by not caring about their expectations.


Worrying about what everyone else thinks just brings me down......I feel like I will be better off if I can quit that nonsense.


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Matt62
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23 Mar 2012, 6:52 pm

I will *NEVER* apologize for what I *AM*.
I will apologize for uny misunderstandings however. I did learn the Golden Rule ( No, not the Greedy Person version!) about treating others as I would want to be treated.
Of course, I have no expectations they will accept an apology. But sometimes you can be pleasently surprised.

Sincerely,
Matthew



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23 Mar 2012, 7:09 pm

I'm constantly apologizing for who and what I am.

And often bitter about it.

I know that "we" are often made to feel in the wrong, even when we have done our best or done more than most would, simply because we are different. That, in other words, difference equals deficit.

I don't know WHY things are that way. I, too, often think in the end it comes down to a numbers game. It is just the way things are.

If you're tired of apologizing, there's always choosing to keep a very low profile. It's lonesome, but it's peaceful.

Whatever you do, don't take the path I did and convince yourself that you are and will always be a lesser person and must force yourself to accept that belief.


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