Are you acting all the time?

Post Reply New Topic

I like and explore the idea of engagement, not conformity.

I don't like the term 'fake' or 'act' because it just makes it sound like I am not meant to be that kind of person or else it's all an act.

I have gotten it before and I just ignore it. If it's all acting, then by their logic, everyone is fake since we all learned how to behave as we got older. I mean are kids faking being nice just because they were taught to be nice? Do kids fake using table manners just because that is what they are taught? Do autistic kids fake talking just because they were taught how to speak? What about kids with speech impairments so they say sounds wrong like with Th's or R's so they learn to say them and are they faking it now when they finally say 'th' now and say r correctly now? What about people that use the word ret*d but they do not say it around anyone who is offended by the word, are they faking not saying the word? What about aspies who learn to deal with change, are they faking that?

All the fake an acting stuff I hear in the autism community is a bunch of bull. I don't see it as that is why.

I definitely act different when I'm alone vs when I'm around other people.

When I'm around people I'm much more reserved, quiet and serious. When I'm alone I can get pretty hyper (especially when playing with the dog) I like to be silly and just disconnect my overdeveloped brain\ mouth filter (think out loud) and see what comes out. I feel more normal when I'm alone.

This clip describes what I'm talking about perfectly!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJccxKyWwJg[/youtube]

I don't know why but I'm almost scared to let people see that side of me. Even my close friends.
Not sure I could if I tried.

I have been told this as well...

i was told by someone i used to know that one year i was fine (mid 2007-2008), then i "went away over summer, found out about my ASD, read up on it, and came back acting all the major points of ASD" - when in fact all i had done over summer is decided that i couldn't be bothered "faking it" ie hiding lots of stuff and play-acting NTness all the time (which tired me out like you wouldn't believe).

however, i am now slightly more fashion conscious (in a way that i like) and a bit more comfortable and less anxious around people , so if that's the trade-off for a bit more visible aspie-ness, i got the better part of the deal.

Hmm. Is etiquette acting? I try to function according to the protocols. If someone annoys me but its tolerable, I tolerate it. Not sure if that counts as acting or not.

If you mean mimicking emotional states, I couldn't act to save my life. If everyone's supposed to be dancing and smiling and laughing, I'm still just the same as I always am. Unless someone says something really hilarious, and it really does crack me up.

I seem to have a damping effect on other people's emotions. It's not like I bum everyone out - if they're bummed out, I'll dampen that more towards a neutral state too. It's just that their highs and lows seem to flatten out; they become more like me in a way. Some people have told me they find this comforting and relaxing. But other times I know that it's prevented people from doing things they would otherwise do, that involve excited states.

My grandfather on my mom's side used to have this same effect on a room of people too. When we were over at my grandparent's house when I was a baby, when they couldn't get me to stop crying, they'd stick me in the spare room where he'd be working on upholstery (he was always working on that or in the garage whenever the family got together). Without him paying any attention to me at all, I'd just fall asleep after a few minutes.

I cannot answer this question because I really don't know with me. I can't say I'm acting ALL the time, but I do often put on an act sometimes. Half the time being normal does come naturally. When I go out, I automatically want to just walk up straight and not do anything to signifficantly attract attention. But everybody acts to a certain degree they go out. I mean I often find it quite hard to imagine what people do in their own homes unless I know them well.

But I know it is harder for Aspies, and people on the spectrum, and with other conditions too, do tend to hide behind this mask and become almost the opposite of what they're really like. I sometimes have to put on more of an act than other times, depending on the situation. Like when my friend once said, ''it's meant to snow next week'', usually when I'm at home and I hear someone say that, I throw a fit because I hate snow, but I didn't want to throw a fit out in public with my friends, so I tried to keep cool and calm about it and pretended I didn't really care, I just said, ''I hope not'', and that was as far as it went. So I was putting on a huge act then, trying to keep cool and calm over something that normally distresses me big time.

That is just one of many examples of a situation where I put on an act. Otherwise, I can generally just act neutral, if I'm rather happy and comfortable in the environment I'm in with trusting people around me.

I have been conforming to people's expectations since I can remember. This is what I was taught to do. Being myself (I'm not even sure what that is anymore) seems unnatural to me. But I do try to be true to my beliefs. If someone says something I disagree with, I will either not say anything or tell them so. I find often though that I am bored by what people are talking about and really not paying attention. I feel bad about this, but unless it is something I care about, I really don't care.