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Feeling like a victim/ Easily intimidated

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Jaden
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22 Sep 2012, 3:50 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I walked past a group of teenage boys today, on my way to the bus station. None of them shouted anything or said some sort of smutty remark or anything like that, they just walked by quietly, but I felt them all look my way as I passed, and unless they were looking at the houses that were in my direction, they were all looking at me. Yes, it might be a compliment, but I doubt it because I wouldn't say I'm beautiful, I actually looked a bit dishevelled because I had just come out of work and felt tired and hungry and thirsty and a bit dehydrated. So they were probably all gawking at me on purpose to intimidate.


I know what you mean (although it's a little different for me), most of the time, when I'm in public (not often), I feel like everyone is judging me in some way, which wouldn't be far from the truth cause everyone always has. That's part of the reason I don't go anywhere...


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MrObvious
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22 Sep 2012, 5:12 pm

This may make you feel better but men actually find a woman that's more attractive that's not afraid to get dirty and is real. We just never admit it. :)

I think the problem lies in years of being beat down and saying we can't do social situations, we suck, we are failures, etc. Even if we don't do it on purpose, we send ourselves messages saying we suck and that sets us up for failure. It is called in psych terms a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like the people above, we gotta find who we are and learn to accept ourselves and have the confidence to realize we are a good person. If people look at us crazy, they look at us crazy. Who cares? Humans have a nature of looking at other humans and making judgments real fast, even if it's not true. So what if you are an aspie? You are still a human with concerns, cares, and feelings like anyone else in this world. There is a phrase "fake it till you make it". If you sound confident, you get the job.

The nice part about social settings is we can learn. The nice part about relationships is we can learn. The nice part about humans is we learn. If you can't pick yourself up, find a way to. Get up, get going, and do something for yourself. If you don't think you are worth two cents, you are. There is something you can contribute to something every day. Shy NT people go through the same things with self esteem too.

And the thing about "feeling" like a victim...is it's a feeling. You set yourself up to feel that way. You can change it. I've had to move because I chose to change and had people that still looked at me the old way (as a kid who just wanted to get in trouble, not a responsible adult). If you can't have people around your life that will encourage you, cut them out.