How Often Do You Think About Suicide?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi mrL,

I might see why your suicidal thoughts arise.

The thing is, objectively your are right! Objectively I agree with you. Everything is in the end just atoms governed by physics.

But should that keep you from getting a happy life? No, definitely not!

You are worth everything. Believe me, you are. Don't let me be more convinced about that than you are!!

If you look at your life too objectively, it is not going to make sense. You want to do that, but do not allow yourself to do that! You are too important for that. You are immensely important.

Instead, you need to look at your life subjectively. Your life is invaluable. YOU are the center of the world and therefore you should get the happiest life possible. You need to fight for that happy life, but it is no problem, because you know your life is the most important thing your have ever experienced in this world! Live it, love it, enjoy it, share it, and be yourself by loving your inner aspie.

MrL, it sounds like you're talking about existentialism more than depression or anything like that.

I also would say life is ultimately meaningless but that idea itself no longer holds any meaning or fascination for me whatsoever. Life is a sandbox game.

Indeed, I wasn't familiar with the term existentialism however a quick Wiki search fixed that. Sandbox? In other words you believe that we modify the world around us utilizing the tools available and determine how we choose to play the game. The problem is that all is not equal among players. Different variables give unfair advantages to some vs others. I hope I understood what you meant correctly as some of these concepts are a bit foreign to me.

You should have included a "never" option. I used to think about it all day, every day. Now I think about it never. I've changed a lot in the last 2 years, and that was a major change for me.

I guess I'm the opposite of you right now. I have pills saved up but I don't have any intention of using them at the moment. The only reason is that I stopped taking them to stay awake but I saved the ones I didn't use in a bag just to feel like I have resources. Having access to resources just makes me feel like I have options.

In a sense, without any immediate urge to kill myself I've actually been making it as easy as possible in case I ever do feel the need.

I've felt it before but I've found something else to focus on and it makes me feel like I have a goal to strive for. Even if the goal is harmful it's still a goal and it gives me a task to complete. A task gives me a focus and a false sense of purpose. If I decide that my life purpose is to stay up until I lose my mind from sleep loss then at least I have something to focus on other than suicide. I still save the pills that I don't take when I'm trying to do the sleep deprivation just in case.

I can completely understand this concept. Currently I feel trapped; having a way out kind of puts the mind at ease. You have no actual intention of killing yourself but having those pills and having the power to end your life gives you at-least a feeling of some control. I hope I interpreted that right. For a while now I have considered purchasing a gun and just keeping it locked away with one of my favorite books and if I ever needed it, then it would be there (the book to calm me down prior to firing the gun). Sadly some would balk at such an idea but truthfully it is only their own mortality that they are thinking of. When a person dies, people are often not crying for the person who died but instead they are crying for themselves because they fear their own mortality. In the country where I was born, when a person dies they have a 9 day celebration (friends, family and tons of food) remembering the persons life and bury them on the 9th and final day.

I think about Suicide a few times a year and I would do it if the end result wasn't MY death.

I'm not depressed or anything, I just think there are a few issues that could benefit from some sort of public suicide to raise awareness. Like the Business services wage assessment tool that kind of makes sure disabled people are paid only a few dollars an hour and never get ahead in life regardless on how much they work. There are few other issues that the mainstream of society know nothing about that too could benefit.

So you know, IF you are going to top yourself, make it public and for a cause.

I think killing yourself in the name of helping others is kind of ridiculous I certainly would not be doing it.

I agree but someone else killing themselves in the name of helping others is fine with me, especially if that person was going to kill themselves anyway. The least it would do is get there death noticed,people killing themselves at home and alone for no reason but their own weakness does not really get reported or talked about.

Yeah I saw that arc its from like episode 11 to episode 14 in Welcome to the NHK they all go to a deserted island resort to kill themselves. If i remember correctly Sato in the end actually tries to jump but they stop him! And yeah Sato is definately an aspie! This anime series is frighteningly similar to how my life is! He tries again in the final episode only to prevent the girl from doing it but well that didnt go well he gets caught on a barrier people built to keep people from jumping!

you didnt leave an option "never thought about suicide" so i didnt vote.
i felt like dying when my cat died, but didnt think about suicide. i just felt like if i were to die today, i wouldnt mind, but that was years ago and i got over it, and it doesnt count as suicidal thoughts.

good for you to not think about it never, and seems like the change you have undergone is certainly for the best. i never think about it, either.

I never think about suicide.

never.

there are only 2 ways that i could commit suicide if i wanted to.
1. bludgeon myself to death with a blunt object. i am scared of knives and poisons because they are dangerous.

2. shoot myself in a drive by shooting so it would be sudden and unexpected. i rehearsed it many times and unfortunately i was never at home when i drove by my house (which is odd since i rarely go out).

Isn't that kind of the point?

i was joking in my last post. maybe i will be warned by a moderator that my post was inconsiderate, but until then i will leave it there. did you also not perceive the illogicality of the drive by shooting scenario?

the thought of someone hammering them selves over the head with a club is kind of amusing to me. i have a primitive sense of humor.

i was careful not to post my post in a thread about someone actively considering suicide.

to be serious, i would never kill myself because i am never that unhappy. the act of taking ones life is permanent and they will never see or think anything again which to me is an unconscionable trade off for what may be temporary discomfort.

i have known 3 people who committed suicide. one was a bubbly nice asian girl who seemed happy and we were friends until i found out she jumped to her death over a cliff beside an ocean. i never had any idea she was capable of such a brave but also cowardly act of ending her life by jumping off a cliff.

another one was my first girlfriend that i had when i was 13, and we parted ways because her father did not want us associating. there are many sad things that could drag me down but i can not reverse them, and her death was not because she was barred from seeing me. she killed herself a few years later for reasons i do not know. her parents did not like me and i was not able to extract any information from them

the third one had a girlfriend that i introduced him to. she was 16 and he was 23 and i was 28. she liked me at first but i was too old for her, and i told my 23 year old friend about her and i asked him to sit at our (me and the 16 year olds) table at the hotel, and they developed a romance. he was too clingy and wistful and he lost her love after a while, and he was so stuck on her that he thought his life was over when she began dating a man even older than me (i think he was 30 or close).
he played pool with me the night before he killed himself and i was dismissive of his lamenting attitude. i could not believe that he felt like taking his life simply over that girl. i told him that maybe the girl would spend a few weeks in the older mans arms and then realize that she liked him (my 23 year old friend) better, but my friend was adamant that all was lost.

he asked me to drive him home, and i did, and before he got out of my car, he said that he was behind in his rent so i gave him $300 to fix it up. 4 days later i was contacted by his mother, and told that he had overdosed on heroin, and i realised that the $300 i gave him was used to buy heroin to end his life.

everyone knew i gave it to him because i told them, and everyone blamed me for causing his death. i do not feel in any way responsible for his death because i did not disbelieve that he was behind in his rent and i also was too shallow to realize that the words he said while we were playing pool were sincere.

well he is a skeleton in the ground now and he never had another thought after he overdosed, and if he had only stuck it out, he would have gotten over the loss of his girlfriend and matured into a person who can take the bad knocks in life.

suicide is the most senseless thing a person can do.

people who commit suicide are also brave in a way because they commit themselves to death before they are ready to die.

what if there is an afterlife? what if there is a god? how can one say "sorry god, i threw the life you gave me away" with pride.
what if god said "but there was a plan for you, and you would have been rewarded if you went through the tribulation course i set for you, but you resigned and opted out"

who knows. i am not religious, but i am also not so stupid to be so blind as to discount the existence of god simply because my mind cannot calculate it. i value my life because i never chose to live. it happened for me. there is no way i can come back to life after i die and it is the greatest gift one can ever be given. to throw that away is the ultimate snub to the greatness of the process that gave you life.


i guess the athiests will be stopping by shortly to parade their self sufficient and egocentric ideas, and to them i say i am not a religious person, but i believe that there is greater things in the universe than my simple mind.