are we bossy?

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I'm usually not the type to make the decision and tell others what to do.

I'm not bossy now, but when I was a four or five year old I was unbearably bossy, if not an outright bully. However, when people told me that I was, I had no idea what they were talking about. My recall is nearly perfect (I even remember marks on the wall and the pattern of the floor). I liked being around other kids, but I had absolutely no idea how to relate to them.

This was also manifested by what my family called showing off, but what I now call 'going bonkers'. Other kids would leave in exasperation. I had in my mind a picture of kids jumping around together whenever they played, and was simply trying very hard to replicate that behaviour and live out my notion of playing.

I can be bossy and I definitely have a dominant streak.

I don't like to be told what to do and what not to do by others but I do like it to be the other way around. As soon as someone tries to tell me what to do he or she can expect some serious headbutting coming from my side.

Since I am not working at the moment I prefer to spend a lot of time on my own, which means that those personality traits don't manifest themselves as much as they do in certain social situations. I don't like to talk much when I am around other people which gives people the impression that I am shy and fearful (which is not the case at all) so this side of me usually takes people by surprise. And what an unpleasant surprise that can be!

I once read somewhere that some woman with aspergers can be stubborn headbutters and that description seems to fit me.
Since I am short tempered as well I can easily get into all sorts of conflicts and when that happens I get totally fixated on winning them which,ofcourse is an unconstructive, limited and unfortunate way of viewing things.

I'm not bossy at all. I don't enjoy telling people what to do and I avoid it at all costs.

It's probably for the best that you avoid dominant people. You would become a doormat if you didn't.

My daughter is very bossy and controlling with other children - if they won't play exactly as she tells them to, then she either strops off or shouts at them!