I told someone I have AS and it was a mistake

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Yes, when she said "I don't want to get into an argument about it," I think that translates into "I don't want to hear the truth." Shutting down the discussion the way she did was an evasion tactic. Well, fine. If she can't deal with it I won't bring it up again. But I'm disappointed in her.

It's interesting. I thought having a nephew with AS would make her more understanding rather than less. You know what else? Each time she mentioned him she kept telling me over and over what a sweet, sweet young man he is (he's 21). Now I think she said that because she felt the need to defend him -- you know, like, "he has AS but he's nice anyway!" You're right; I should avoid the subject, and I will.

Thank you so much for helping me understand her reaction better.

I wouldn't want to be called autistic either... to me this would make as much sense as a person wearing glasses being blind because he's on the 'blind' spectrum. I wouldn't mind it if it were used with the understanding that it's a spectrum. But where I live (french part of Canada) people use the word autistic without distinction; few people know about AS. I don't want to be associated will all kinds of traits and issues that I have nothing to do with.

You're quite right. I thought she was just being unkind, but you've made me see what is very likely the real reason. Thank you.

I wonder why she doesn't want to accept that her nephew has AS. It's possible that she has negative preconceptions about it and all it might take is to try to break the negative preconceptions. It also seems like she's a very sensitive and close-minded person. Ugh.

I doubt this ended for her as soon as you stopped talking about it. She probably still thinks about it, and maybe will poke around on the internet and try to understand more. But even if she does, acquiring information and accepting it are two different things. Over time, she may come to understand things differently.
Or she may be emotionally not strong enough to change how she thinks, and may opt to live with her head in the sand. My cousin is like that, and it is due to her own insecurities.

I just don't understand how people CHOOSE to remain ignorant. That is SO against my 'religion'.

Not everyone thinks aspies are autistic. My parents are the same way and I just accept it. I can remember being 15 years old and I had looked up AS online and autism pages popped up. I asked them if I was autistic and they said no. I then asked them why did they pop up then when I looked up AS and they said it was a form of it. My mother thinks autistic and asperger's are two different things and I have heard her talking about it to a person she has known since before I was born saying how those two are different. She compared it to how someone can have a cold but not have something else that is more severe. You can be throwing up but that doesn't mean you have a virus. So you can have autistic traits but that doesn't make you autistic and you have Asperger's instead.

I have even seen people say online how their kid is on the autistic spectrum but they are not autistic.

Perhaps your neighbor doesn't think Asperger's is autism and thinks those two are two different things like my parents think.

I told a colleague that I had AS, he answered "Please don't say bad things about yourself!"... It makes me sad to realize how people are misinformed about autism
I can't even say if it was a mistake to tell him about it but it certainly threw a damper on the conversation...

I don't bother telling anyone because they can't seem to understand Autism is a spectrum and yes, you can be autistic and still speak, hold down a job and drive a car. Even 'experts' other than my Family Doctor seem to have this attitude. When I went for my assessment the psychiatrist kept mentioning how I have a great attention to detail and high IQ almost as if the word "Asperger" means unable to function in society.

Never had a similar experience.
Every time I told someone I had AS and ADHD, their only replies were "so, that's the reason why you act like that", or "I had alredy understood it", or "it's so evident you have those".

the whole business with having an autistic trait doesn't mean you will be treated fairly or unfairly it is merely a term to describe what you've got in the whole light of being a person on the spectrum. most people of todays world have deluded themselves into thinking it is just a minor issue that will simply go away, given the options to reduce stress hence minimizing the impact of reluctance and confusion inside the workplace. well, whether it seem you are diagnosed or not at the time of work say, in you're everyday life just seems like a point of zero confidence to the average non-believer who's in a critical state of denial about themselves and to hear unkind words from another colleague for instance, is like a stab in the back. to put it bluntly. just because the modern workforce is being supplied by immigrants or pen-pushers shouldn't mean that the whole system has to fail on the disabled.

You would think so, wouldn't you? But she really let me down.

But then, if she knows you as a good person, shouldn't that be a positive model for her nephew?