Smirking

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Because of an autistic thinking pattern (is my guess).

Life is about survival/existence. All social mechanisms are a result of that.

Life is trying to survive in all sorts of ways. One of the attempts to survive is the natural selection process going on among the human species. There is greater possibility of survival if the strongest/most fit survive. So you may very well be right in that many people "smirk, smile or laugh to themselves as a non-verbal way of putting other people down". They realize (unconsciously opposite me) that they are part of a competition (the natural selection). They do it because they want to survive. That's why you experience they want to see themselves "win".

If you think in autistic terms you don't see yourself as part of that competition. But you are. You cannot escape it, simply because you are alive. You are a potential thread towards the survival of others, whether you like it or not.





In fact I don't think much is "going on" in their heads. If they are not autistic, it comes to them naturally to think in terms of survival. They have thought that way all their lives. They probably won't understand why you could possibly have so much against it. They have never seen the world through autistic eyes. It's a fundamentally different view. Autistic minds think life is/should be about something other than survival. Non-autistic minds think life is/should be about survival only. What viewpoint do you agree more with?

It is common behaviour. It's part of survival. If you don't fight for your life, you won't survive. That includes participating in the natural competition between humans.

Sometimes it's more beneficial for survival to compete (dating scene, jobs, etc.). Sometimes it's more beneficial for survival to cooperate (family, friends, girl-/boyfriends). Everything is dictated by the desire to survive.







The fact that it bothers you is actually also "merely" a part of the selection process. Being an autistic myself I completely relate to you. It can be and is really hideous sometimes. But letting it bother you is indirectly nature's way of saying you aren't tough enough to deal with survival.

In my experience, if one wants to accept it one has to embrace the survival/existence of the human species with all what that implies. It's very difficult, however, having an autistic mind.

But ask yourself: what's the most important ever in this world? You have to answer "my life". What could possibly be more important than your life? If you did not have that, you would not have anything else. Your life is so important that you could never let some natural selection bother you! It's in that sense that one should care much less about what people do. The only thing that matters is what the people who have some relevance to your life do. Everything else means nothing! Life is basically very superficial because it is based on survival. One has to accept that. It can be very difficult having an autistic mind that wants everything to have a deeper meaning.

Exactly. Only care about things that really concern your own life. I know it may feel like this actually concerns your life, but it really doesn't. Your life is too important to let them ruin or even have a negative impact on it.

I'm not sure what to say here, you've probably heard this a thousand times but it doesn't matter what others think, those people who judge are basically like sheep; they follow stereotypes and social rules and don't have a mind of their own.

I don't think you realise the degree to which they do impact on my life though.

Having seen your photo I don't think your experiences are going to have been in the same category as mine.

It's not a matter of not letting people impact on me - they do - I'm like emotional blotting paper if I'm around people.
I have no 'ignore' or 'off-switch' for how people act towards me like the majority seem to. How they act overwhelms me and becomes the whole world while it's happening.

Also, the importance a person places on their own life is directly related to how important they were made to feel they were by their parents, siblings and peer group

I have not been given the message that I am particularly important to or by these people, hence it can't be conjured up out of nowhere.

I believe you are right. They probably have not been in the same category. But I know the feeling when "someone overwhelms me and becomes the whole world while it's happening." I can relate to that.

This happens exactly when one thinks too much in autistic terms. You become this small, sensitive, confused individual to whom the world seems very unfriendly.

The best coping technique I've come across is being more "irritated" with your surroundings. The problem is thinking too much about the surroundings instead of yourself. Being irritated with your surroundings in a healthy way is a sign that you think more about yourself! This is what autistics need to do more.

In practice when you experience this sort of thing, next time try to think:

"I'm very irritated with my surroundings. They should be concerned about my life, because my life is what is important. Well, since they don't I'll have to do it myself, and I'll do everything it takes."

Perhaps it seems weird. But it really is a sign that you love yourself. You love yourself enough to think your life is the first most important thing, as it is... You need to not only think it, but actually feel it.

I absolutely hate this behaviour and it affects me a lot when it is done to me - I can become furiously angry and/or depressed for hours or days.

It seems to me a very immature thing to do and, maybe as a consequence I associate it with adolescents. I was on the receiving end of it a lot at school. It almost always happened when there was a group of them and I was alone. They would begin grinning at one another, making eye contact with one another and rolling their eyes. Sometimes laughing out loud. I always took it that they were enjoying feeling superior to me and bonding over this shared feeling. They were positioning themselves higher up the social order than me.

Most people tend to grow out of this behaviour but not all - my boss still does it a bit and he's in his sixties!

Even though I'm middle-aged now I always feel bad when it happens, as if I've made a "mistake", as if I still haven't learned the trick of blending in I also feel ugly as I think they're laughing at my appearance. No amount of positive thought trying to believe in myself helps

The most cutting thing is just how much actual pleasure they seem to get from doing it.

I can't forgive society for not valuing me enough!

I understand that viewpoint. They are saying aspergers/autism is a pervasive developmental disorder. It's not for no reason they call it a disorder. Their opinion is definitely something is wrong about having aspergers. They are not valuing that kind of good-heartedness i know from asperger people.

It's because that kind of good-heartedness is not really beneficial to survival. When it is not, it is not valued by society.

I know and I get sick of it as the world needs a lot more not less good-heartedness!

I feel I need to stay alive if only to say there is another way to be - a NICE WAY!

As well as the vulnerability, Aspergers has given me stubbornness as well and these people will never make me become like them!

I have to be here to help the other nice, non-smirking people as we need all the help we can get!