RAD vs AS

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My story is what Callista described. What ultimately convinced me that I didn't provoke the abuse was when I adopted my difficult, special needs cats from the streets and now, over 2 years later, I see that I didn't lose my temper with them even once, let alone blame them for their traits. I don't ever think what is in fashion to think: "they did the best they could". I know they could've done a lot better if they'd decided to put some effort into it, not to mention if they'd really exerted themselves to do the best they could. Denial, scapegoating, discrimination, favoritism, etc. etc. - are all useful tools for the lazy. I work very hard with my cats to give them a life worth living, when I could just kick back after work, rest and if they bother me, blame them for it.

That's not how genetics works. RAD would not affect your genes, therefore it can't be passed down genetically. (It could be passed down socially, if RAD causes a parent to abuse, neglect or abandon their children, but that's totally different.)

Anyway, regarding RAD and autism...

Yes, RAD can look like like autism, but only for a short while. Some RAD kids, when they are first taken out of the bad environment, they act autistic. But when they get a stable home, the autistic traits disappear within a few months to a couple years. Whereas for an autistic kid the traits remain present, even if their functioning level changes.

You can have both ASD and RAD. Autism does not affect attachment - autistic kids are just as susceptible to attachment disruption as NTs are. (Incidentally, autistic kids have a lower frequency of secure attachment, but this appears to be due to parents having trouble coming to terms with autism.)



Most adoptive parents 40 years ago probably didn't know a thing about RAD, either.

But whether she knew or not - you should love the child you have, not wish for one you don't have. Not being diagnosed until I was 15 didn't stop my parents from treating me with respect right from the start.

I PM'ed him to see if he would send me the link to the post, because I'm curious.

I do remember as a kid having a difficult time regulating my voice. However, I thought all kids go through that.

As far as my gait, I do recall someone once telling me I walked like a horse. It was immediately retracted but it stuck with me. I never got a clear answer on what was meant but I did have long black hair and there were many times I was told my hair looked "like a horse's ass" so who knows.

I suppose a more amplified version of it in animals might be the way that a chicken walks, kiiinda, but they tend to bob their heads forward & back along with their body movement vs. have the more vertical slight bounce of a gait to our steps.

And the scenarios you described in your PS post above are all ASD type behaviours & experiences.

I looked up the thread, here's the link to Tyri0n's voice example:

https://soundcloud.com/david-niedrauer/speaking-voice

Are you my alternate-universe twin or something? Cause I have two special-needs cats, too... Tiny used to be feral; Christy was so anxious at the shelter that she hid in the litter box to the point of developing respiratory problems from the dust. And I've never gotten more than mildly annoyed with either of them. I can't even imagine hitting them.

yet more proof that being abused does NOT mean you are going to abuse others.

And to me it's proof that being special-needs does not justify any of the behaviors that we're made to believe are triggered by us. If I don't need to scapegoat, belittle, scorn, hit, yell at a special needs cat, then my parents didn't need to do it to me either. And I withstand 10 times more pressures from life than they did, being totally alone in the world with only myself to count on. I had always thought that life's stress was accountable for most of the abuse - now I know it's not so. My mother didn't even work, she was a housewife in a very quiet time in a very quiet place.

As Ive posted a few times on this forum, Iam of the opinion that an abusive childhood can damage the same area of the brain that affects those with Aspergers.
Childhood neglect does indeed cause a social part of the brain to fail to develop.

I am diagnosed with RAD but not with Aspergers as the psychiatrist just said, "there is a bit of Aspergers in all of us" when I inquired.

RAD can affect children who have lovely parents purely because in the critical early years, the infant was separated from its Mother, even for something as minor as being left in an incubator, the fact you were separated from your Natural Mother before 18 months old might have given you RAD/AS symptoms regardless of how your Adoptive Mother treated you, I have read many books on RAD and even when a RAD child has the most loving and careful adoptive parents, the child still has RAD. Having said that, yes, I do believe parents treating a child badly can make things worst and give rise to RAD/AS symptoms.

Myself for instance, I was taught by my mother and stepfather by their treatment of me that I was hated and unwanted, I was left alone in my bedroom every day so naturally I developed isolating interests to fill the void a lack of human interaction left, whether I would have been different if I had had a normal childhood, I do not know>, maybe I would still have been a bit different, but not quite as bad as I turned out?

There are probably a number of things that can damage a child so that it develops a certain way, a way that could be given a number of different labels depending on who does the diagnosing. The end result is pretty much the same, wither different treatments are required depending on the road one traveled to arrive at this point I do not know,

I do know the treatment I got for RAD made no improvement at all, in fact it made me worst as it showed me my social inabilities in a mirror and made me abandon hope realising I had no chance to live a normal life.

Last edited by Nambo on 22 Mar 2013, 9:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

I hadn't found out until much later (in my 30's) that I had been abandoned around 9 mos old and then with a foster family until 14 mos old which is when I got adopted here across the ocean to my lovely adoptive family
Prior to 9 mos old I can only assume I was taken care of by my biological mother but who knows? So I do know of at least 2 disruptions in my primary caregivers, which I am told is significant.

I came upon this site: http://www.charliesfuture.moonfruit.com ... 4548605101
There are 2 parts.
It appears there are differences in the underlying cause of behaviors that distinguishes RAD vs. ASD. I would say for me it is 50/50 RAD/ASD in the symptoms that apply to me. I have no idea if this website has any clinical merit, but I found it interesting.

Thanks for that, it is interesting, though Iam not sure of its clinical merit either, though Iam diagnosed with RAD, I found the Autistic Traits to fit me better, I did have such a horrific childhood of abuse and neglect, the only respite was when I was in Children's homes, so a diagnosis of RAD would probably seem more logical in my case to a professional, especially as I was unaware of Aspergers when I self -diagnosed myself with RAD before therefore being assessed by a professional who confirmed RAD in my case, but I wonder if I had seen my symptoms correspond with Aspergers first, whether this would have resulted in me being referred to an Autistic specialist who would have confirmed a diagnosis of Aspergers?

It is confusing isn't it???! !!

So you mean NT's never make those kinds of mistakes as kids? Or get confused about things like that? People often tell me, "Well EVERYONE makes their share of mistakes" and such comments.

They would make a few of those mistakes occasionally, but not all of them all the time.

How can one accurately judge if you make those mistakes constantly if/when you don't realize they are mistakes?
As a kid it seemed like I repelled most kids. I've had much more success as an adult because I was able to learn from much older men who were more than happy to teach a (then-)cute ingenue. I never had much success around my "peers", only older people (at least 5-20 years older than I) who were charmed by my youth and precociousness (and maybe hoped to get laid). They were the ones who had the most patience with me and who I could learn from. I do still make errors but I can't gauge how frequently, as I think most people are too polite to tell me.

I guess what it boils down to is that I still have a hard time believing my diagnosis now that I have it, even though I was almost certain before I was diagnosed that I had it. What the hell is wrong with me LOL

How can one accurately judge if you make those mistakes constantly if/when you don't realize they are mistakes?
As a kid it seemed like I repelled most kids. I've had much more success as an adult because I was able to learn from much older men who were more than happy to teach a (then-)cute ingenue. I never had much success around my "peers", only older people (at least 5-20 years older than I) who were charmed by my youth and precociousness (and maybe hoped to get laid). They were the ones who had the most patience with me and who I could learn from. I do still make errors but I can't gauge how frequently, as I think most people are too polite to tell me.

I guess what it boils down to is that I still have a hard time believing my diagnosis now that I have it, even though I was almost certain before I was diagnosed that I had it. What the hell is wrong with me LOL