And finally, diagnosed

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So many of us seem to fit this pattern. Childhood issues, diagnosis etc. Then 25-35 years or so later after having swept it under the rug and and tormenting ourselves with the "what's my problem?" routine... we come full circle back to, it's autism... duh.

I know that I at least did a facepalm.

Honestly, just go into robot mode and do it. Break it down into the mechanical steps as far as is necessary to get yourself there. Planning it down to the fine detail will probably allay your fears. Its an odd fact that the autism itself can often be the very thing standing in your way because moving from an undiagnosed status to a diagnosed status is itself a major change. For ASD people, change is associated with adjustments and new demands that can bring on added anxiety. The prospects after diagnosis are no different (in your present mind). Keep reminding yourself that this is one active change you are making that will be different from all previous changes. You are in control of this change. You don't even have to tell anyone so you can carry on as if nothing happened other than your self awareness and understanding would have been increased. You can choose who knows and when.

Appreciate the kind words, it would definately be my plan to keep it to myself.

I have always worked and actually done fairly well in my career so don't see a potential ASD diagnosis as something that has held me back, I would just like to know for my own knowledge and can then use it to start a plan of working at the things I am not so good at to self improve and understand the things i am not so good at dealing with.

Truth be told I am slightly nervous of being told that I don't have ASD. I have always struggled with things and learning about ASD has felt such a relief as there are so many boxes ticked for me. If they say no you do not have ASD then I what is up with me?

I would say that its more important to know what you are than what you have thought you might be. Its obviously not risk-free in that a psychologist is just human after all. ASD is a spectrum after all and therefore the parameters are becoming increasingly blurred. For some, it is as if their specialness is being eroded by being lumped in with a wider range of other sorts. Then again, the more inclusive approach is making it easier for people on the broader spectrum to come to terms with themselves.

Personally, I'm in favour with the broader approach to diagnosis because it reflects the spectrum. I think the spectrum is much more extensive than commonly understood at the present time.

Whatever they say when you go for diagnosis, as long as it makes sense to you and has a factual basis, then it is useful in your own life. Anything else is either a hindrance or simply means your journey to self awareness has is taking a detour for a while. For undiagnosed adults, our lives have been a very extensive detour ( a veritable maze within our minds), so hopefully you have a clear and life changing outcome.

As I say in my sign-off footnote ... on a clear day you can live forever ... so wishing you many clear days