Hyper-NT Behavior on a Moving Ship

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Just something I wanted to add. I had another experience sailing, this time on a boat, rather than a cruise ship. My friends and I took 3-hour dinner cruise on a large river near where we live, to do a belated celebration of my birthday. They were against the idea at first, but eventually gave in when I insisted, considering that I just turned 30. The river was choppy due to high winds; I'm surprised they didn't cancel the cruise. The upper deck was largely deserted, except a man with a tripod camera, a few couples cuddling, a family with a pre-teen child, and a handful of other people. The boat rocked back-and-forth pretty heavily. How was I? I was happy as a clam, standing at the stern, watching the wakes trail behind, feeling zoned out and blissfully relaxed.

The food was good, although nothing to rant and rave about: the usual hors d'oeuvres you'd find at a wedding reception, minus the shrimp. The dining and dancing area was packed and very lively. When the four-man band started playing upbeat jazz songs, I asked friendly-looking women to swing dance. About half of them agreed, and really seemed to like the dance. Something about dancing on a ship made me very happy and relaxed. My friends sat out, since they didn't know swing, but they did enjoy the dinner cruise. Then at the end, my friends and I, having consumed more than a couple of drinks, yelled out the boat's name to the people onshore; a few of them yelled back.

So it's safe to say that it was the rocking of the ship/boat that made me relaxed and NT-like. I tried Ettina's suggestion with the exercise ball, but it was a no-go. I guess I need the real thing in order to feel and act like an NT.

The other folks on the cruise could have been more receptive to being social, that's sort of the point of a cruise.

I think maybe it was a "virtuous cycle": because of the rocking you felt more relaxed and therefore acted more outgoing and confident, the NT's (who were themselves in an unusually relaxed, friendly mood because they were on a cruise) responded positively, you felt still more confident, etc. I've had things like that happen to me occasionally when something happened to give me a burst of self-confidence or positive attitude (some success, the weather, seeing a particular film). For the rest of the day, I could socialize successfully. Unfortunately it happens unexpectedly and I can't reproduce it. It's only happened a few times in my whole life. Apparently I have social anxiety and that's what happens when it's temporarily gone.

Regarding the rocking specifically, I was reminded of this:
http://www.awakeparent.com/Shelly/swing ... attention/

I think it probably boils down to confidence. We tend to underestimate its importance. It is probably the most important factor in making a good first impression on people. The trouble is, the advice NT's give each other to "fake it" is not usually advice aspies can follow, so we're only helped by things that make us actually feel more confident. I'm not saying all our social problems come from lack of confidence, but when we do something inappropriate the loss of confidence we experience and the way we react often hurts us more than the actual error does.

:thumleft: Like!

I think that's definitely it. Cruises turned out to be surprisingly aspie-friendly, at least for those of us with the milder forms of AS. That was even true when I cruised alone. It's already outlined in detail in many of my cruise-related threads. So a naturally aspie-friendly environment let to more confidence, which led to better reactions from people, which led to more confidence, which let to... you get the point. However, it was the rocking that helped relax me relax in the first place, as I determined. After all, even though I learned to pass for NT, my AS isn't going anywhere. If rocking helps autistics feel relaxed, why not aspies? They are, after all, on the same spectrum.

While I was talking to people on the ship (presumably NTs), I mentioned to some of them that I found the rocking very soothing. To my surprise, they agreed; one couple even said that it's the main reason they prefer cruises over resorts. After all, you can't make a hotel building rock like a ship, unless you put in some very complicated hydraulics in the foundation.

An Aspie cruise?

Could it be an inner ear thing? Could something about the motion of the boat affected you somehow or the salt air soothed your anxiety? I don't know.

I'm NT but not an extrovert, and to me, a cruise ship is a dicey proposition. I would not want to be forced to socialize all the time, or have constant noise and events going on. Also to be stuck on a ship at sea in case I didn't like anything about it... ugh. The recent Carnival cruise line debacles haven't helped my ideas about cruises any.

Glad you had a great time though.

I'm now 100% sure it's the motion of the ship. (Not boat. The cruising community is touchy about the word usage, because a boat is what you get on when the ship is sinking.) Anyway, I found a thread on a cruise blog where I write on a regular basis. People talked about their kids who are on the autistic spectrum. Almost every person on that thread said that their kids' AS/autism-related issues subsided dramatically or even disappeared altogether when their ship hit a rough patch of waves on the ocean. All of them said that their kids loved the natural rocking motion; they described their kids waiting patiently in lines, trying new foods, comfortably talking to crew members, and even making friends with other kids onboard. The counselors in kids' clubs were experts in dealing with special needs kids. The line they talked about was Carnival (the one I went on), but the experiences gotta be pretty similar on other cruise lines.

I'm way past being a kid, but I found the rocking relaxing just the same. And it affected me too. I think I described it pretty clearly in earlier posts in this thread. The ones about the multi-day Carnival cruise, and the 3-hour dinner cruise on the river I took not too long after.