Where are the succesful aspies?

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I am over 30, I am diagnosed (AS), and I am reasonably successful.

I am married with grown up children.

I have a senior (non-executive) position in my workplace . I am well paid - 6-figure salary. I own the house I live in and don't have a mortgage any more.

And it all begins to sound like boasting, which may be why a lot of people don't talk about it.

Well your right, it is mostly a forum for sharing problems and issues, so they don't start many threads.

But Aspies who have made their way in life are here and generally are among the ones responding to the threads, identifying with the problems and trying to pass on what they learned and what helped them.

There is no reason to assume that undiagnosed autistic people are any more likely to be successful than diagnosed autistic people. There are people on this forum who want to believe this and sometimes base this wishful thinking on the theory that if you do not tell children that they are autistic they'll have better chances to succeed because they will lack excuses to fall back on. This is at best pseudo-science and mostly just ableist nonsense.

Economic statistics for autistic people in multiple countries are quite well supported and easy to look up, and the sample sizes are large enough to keep the margin of error fairly low. There is no untapped hidden undiagnosed population of successful autistic people. Not in the real world.

In this case, since Fnord also answered, he offers that explanation for himself, not for everyone, and I do not think he is wrong about his own life, and there are probably others like him. I simply disagree that this is actually a normal outcome. As a counterexample, you have those like Temple Grandin who knew from childhood, but had extensive support and came from an economically privileged family. There are many reasons people can succeed or fail.

In my case, I had no diagnosis and thus no reason to think I was disabled, and I pushed myself as hard - even harder - than anyone around me and the results were losing all of my jobs and dropping out of college because I couldn't keep pushing myself for more than a few months. Never mind the other problems I encountered because of social impairments and other people's reactions to them, as well as dealing with daily, often intense sensory overload. Everyone's different.

This is very true. I think "successful" should be gauged by the individual and their own abilities not by any societal standard. When it comes to being on spectrum that can mean all different levels of functionality and in different ways. When other groups are categorized it's more cut and dry. Blind people are blind, deaf people are deaf, etc. Being autistic can mean a whole range of abilities and disabilities.

actions speak greater than words. If someone says something on the internet, that doesn't mean they live what they say. For instance, if a guy is giving advice on how to get a girlfriend, but yet he's never had a gf and he's ultra shy around girls.

Sometimes when people give advice, they don't live by that advice. That means they're fake.

Are you having a bad day? Meltdown coming?

Sometimes when people ask for advice, they don't follow any advice. That means they're seeking attention.

I doubt that there would be a great deal of laughter on the subject.

The OP poses a good question. Unfortunately, there has been a perception* that WP is not an acceptable place for positive stories, so WP in particular is not the ideal place to look for positive Aspie-related stories. That's unfortunate, and something that has probably cost this forum a great many productive members, both in those who left and those who didn't want to join.

* See generally "Reasons Aspies don't join/leave WP" at http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt231743.html

Yes, this is a good point. After making my earlier post I felt guilty. When there are people suffering and looking for understanding with their problems, as is often seen on this forum, the last thing you want to do is rub your successes in their face.

as long as they are seeking attention, what is the harm? did it cost you any money?

I think this is a real factor-- I left out stuff about the house I own, my car and my kids for that reason.

It's also true that for some of us, even those with considerable success in life, the problems clearly related to or caused by autism can be deeply frustrating and strangely fascinating. It's natural to focus on them.

Maybe, maybe not. Being normally financially successful means easier access to assessment (or even doctor shopping, if you want to be cynical). And, it seems that having a diagnosed kid counts in some assessors' minds as a extra points toward a positive diagnosis; and having a kid, if it's not an accident or some bad situation, means you felt materially and otherwise secure enough to have a kid. So, success, at the 'sucessful' end, could mean more likely a diagnosis unless you're truly not diagnosable at all.

They're lying - baiting people with their sad-sack stories, only to reject even the simplest and easiest of solutions, thus attracting even more attention and wasting the time and effort of people who are sincerely trying to help. I've stopped responding to some members' posts because of this, and I feel less frustrated for doing so.


I thought at first that my 'boasting' would inspire others to think that maybe they too could make better lives for themselves. I soon found out that either people are happiest when expressing their misery, or they're just seeking attention without any intent of making their lives better. So I leave them to the problems that they seem to so dearly cling to.

One of the keys to success is knowing when to walk away from hopeless situations ... and people ...

LOL!

The OP didn't give any details of his construct of "success"? If personal satisfaction with their life is a criteria then I'm sure there are plenty of successful Aspies (and even Auties) who post here on WP.

We tend to take notice of trolls, inflammatory comments and complaints (I'll admit I use WP to have the occasional whinge). If somebody posts how successful they are, how great life is and how happy they are there is a high likelihood their comments will be ignored for more juicy comments on how people hate guns or bullying etc....

The definition of success could be subjective and different for everyone. Success does not necessarily equate with happiness, but still success for many means reaching goals that are set to help a person feel accomplished. For me I feel successful on the one hand and obliterated on the other. Success means yes I have a master's degree and a good job, a house, a dog, nice parents, but yet at the end of the day my areas of concern still stare back at me. If I only I were more this or that, if only and yet why do I care so much what others think. Yet it can matter since in the working world it is often helpful to fit in and helpful to feel comfortable around others and not feel the never ending social anxiousness I often feel.

Yes so I am successful on the one hand and then to me how I really feel about myself, I have a long way to go.

Last edited by Gazelle on 06 Nov 2013, 12:17 am, edited 1 time in total.