Touching an Aspie...

Post Reply New Topic

I know when I am touched, I feel physical pain, and will sometimes cry out (and then get nonverbal for about a minute after). Does anyone else get this?

Thanks for the replies

~ASpiegirl89~

I don't like people hugging me.
Where I live, it is common to hug a person that you know when you see them. So I tend to avoid a lot of people because of this.
I do like to give hugs when I really like the person, though.

I cannot stand having my wrists touched, even wearing gloves that are either too tight or lightly brushing my wrists freaks me out.

And the other day a guy at work did a slo-mo punch at my arm....I started panicking and had to tell him not to do that, because I would instinctively fight back and really hurt him......

When people touch my wrists, I freak out, yeh. I end up being dead to the world...which makes me pretty useless for a while in a group project or someting.

I will NEVER forget the jerk that LAUGHED at the idea, and kept lowering HER hand because I kept lowering mine, because I didn't want her to touch me while giving me change. What did she think was happening? She did that every work day for YEARS!

Steve

I don't like it when they touch you when you're getting your change either; I'll try the "lower the hand" trick next time ;^). I think the lady'd get it if you wore some kind of autie/aspie shirt or something. All you'd have to do is point and the shirt and say something like "Don't touch me."


~AG89~

I don't like to be touched except by my husband and even then, he has to let me know he's going to do it. For some strange reason, I will never understand, people always want to touch me. Strangers frequently do it when I'm out in public, so I tend to stay in my own space unless my husband, a friend or one of my brothers will go with me. They don't allow this random touching. My husband especially won't allow it because he knows how badly it freaks me out.

Basically, I just stare for a few seconds, then I abruptly turn and leave wherever I am.


The other thing people do with me that I can't stand is sit next to me if I'm sitting alone. I'll be all into my head and really enjoying myself and some feeler NT will decide I must be lonely and walk over. They sit down and start their incessant chatting and I have to get up and leave. They completely ruin my enjoyment. This also happens if I go to a movie alone. Sometimes, I want to see a particular movie alone to absorb it with no outside influence. It's inevitable, even if the entire theatre is empty, that someone, even a COUPLE!, will sit next to me. Again, I think this is the lonely girl thing. They think I must be lonely. I have to get up and move.

I really don't know why people do this. My co-workers have told me I send off big "Don't touch me" messages, cross my arms and back up. So, why would people do it? I just don't get random touching.

it's the NT way of being completely irritating, ZanneMarie. I find that even people I know will do it because they think it's somehow hilarious to see me have a total meltdown.

As for strangers, It's not like we wear big signs that say "BEWARE OF ASPIE. DON'T TOUCH." on us, so they really have no idea what bothers an Aspie or not. They are just being social, which sometimes does include touching. (Albeit, really irritating touching ;^) )

~Aspiegirl89~

Unless it's by my family, I don't like being hugged. I also don't like complete strangers coming up to me and touching me. That's annoying. I don't like those "group hug" things that people have.

If my back is turned and I'm staring at something obviously lost in myself, that is not an invitation to have a stranger touch me, but they always do and usually on the arm. Almost all people that know me for any length of time, don't touch me or block me in. They know I'll abruptly leave. No one teases me with it. The comment I most frequently get when strangers do it is, "Do you need help?" I mean, I'm 47 (not that they ever believe that so I don't bring it up), not seven. It's not like they need to call my parents. Like I said, I stay out of public places unless I'm with someone who won't let them touch me.

As to the feeler NTs, if I have a meltdown or leave abruptly, they get worse. They think it's comforting when it really just stresses me out. I know there are more extroverted feelers than introverted thinkers, so I've just accepted it and stay to myself. It's more comfortable for me this way.


I do like animals though and they really like me. We get along fine. They can touch me all they want unless I have a migraine.

I agree...touching by strangers is really annoying, and unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it. :^(. Hugging is okay if it's a significant other or something and they give ample warning, but other than that, touching, for me at least, is definitely overrated. Group hugs are ridiculous...all those people touching each other? I'll skip the hug fest and find a great book instead ;^).

As someone said in another forum, sometimes its okay to be a nerdy f**k. lol.

To ZanneMarie, I agree. I have a cat who loves to snuggle, and it's okay for me. It just freaks me out when she comes up and brushes against my leg when I'm not expecting it. lol.

Does anyone here have a phobia of being touched?

Also, for me, when people touch me, I feel encroached upon and in pain. Are any of you experiencing these things or are you experiencing something different?

Thanks
~aspiegirl89~

I flinch rather dramatically when someone touches me. Someone passed me a pen recently and they brushed against my hand and I jerked backwards-luckily they didn't notice because they were turning the other way. I have offended people a lot though, like one christmas I gave a guy in my english class a christmas card and he came up and hugged me!! It was only a card! Anyway, I pushed him away and he looked really upset and I felt terrible but I didn't understand why I did it so I couldn't explain and he was really off with me for weeks.

I always assumed that it was because my family never hugged me when I was a kid but reading these posts it sounds like it might be another symptom of my Asperger's (I'm not officially diagnosed).

I don't mind my boyfriend hugging me but any light touch makes me get angry. When my family try to hug me (very falsely) I squirm.

As for physical pain, I do seem more sensitive to pain than other people, like when I'm getting blood tested, just the nurse's fingers on my arm hurt, but anything on top of my clothes doesn't hurt - unless it's a jab in the arm from my brother .

I always thought that I had problems with physical contact because my family wasn't into hugging. Last night I had a long chat with one of my sisters and I asked her to do the 'what's your aspie score' quiz. She scored dramatically higher than I did. My Mom has lots of aspie traits too... so that explains why we all pretty much did our own thing and never hugged. They were uncomfortable too!

It sounds like I'm kidding, but I'm NOT! They think there is some sort of magic in it! SERIOUSLY! I've heard studies, etc....


SALESPEOPLE say it engenders trust and makes you feel better, makes them seem more friendly, and makes YOU more likely to buy!

WAITRESSES say it means a higher tip, ESSPECIALLY if you site next to the person!

OTHERS do this to get money, friendship, or sex!

SERIOUSLY!

Frankly, I react like people in my spanish class when the teacher did this to try to get us to be uncomfortable! I end up HATING the person.

As for that person with the hands? I didn't know I was autistic! It shouldn't matter! I don't even know if she could read. She didn't strike me as being very smart.

Steve

I don't like touch from strangers. I tolerate touch from relatives, but keep it to a minimum. I very rarely initiate it.

For a long time, I totally thought I was just a freak. I mean, other people liked touching well enough; but even when it was just a slight touch, I'd jerk away all spastically.

It's nice to know I'm not alone in my aspie-ness. ;^)

~AG89~