The 7-second eye contact rule

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I try and 'soften' my vision and take in the entire eye oval including the muscles around the eyes. And perhaps the same for the mouth area.

And maybe thinking in terms of a conversational beat, including a long beat and a short beat, rather than a particular time period.

When someone is explaining something complicated, I think it's okay to look to the side and ever so slightly down. And maybe after a couple of sentences of explanation, I can softly say 'alright' and nod my nod to let the person know I am still listening. And that doesn't pull me off track, whereas trying to maintain eye contact would.

This is so true! In the past I have tried to force myself to make eye contact with people, once in a while I would just stuff down the fear/anxiety this caused and just do it, but the result was that my brain could not function at all, I tried to do eye contact and I couldn't speak or have any stream of clear thought, it was like my brain got 'jammed' or something.

Yet I can turn around 180 degrees and look at the wall while lecturing about some aspect of science, technology, history or whatever of my special interests is in my head at the time, and sound like a tenured college professor, but this can only happen when I am not even looking at people. While I would prefer to stare at a wall while talking, I have to compromise with the ground in most cases. I have no issue making eye contact with an animal though, I have done things like maintain eye contact with a cat while talking to a human.

a nice person i asked advice from told me about sticky eyes which i have found really useful. like imagining that your eyes are stuck to the other persons with bubblegum so that your eyes are constantly moving slightly away from the other persons eyes but have a rubbery pull back to them.
it takes a bit of practice but is less obvious than looking up or down or away. it works for me. i still feel weird and uncomfortable when i am looking someone in the eyes but it is mitigated by knowing i can semi natuarly move my eyes away if it gets too much

Here is my source

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7h2XnX ... ata_player

7 seconds looking into someones eyes would feel like an eternity! About half a second is almost too much for me.

Here is the right vs left eye info:

http://www.scienceofsoulmates.com/The_p ... ft_eye.htm

I mentally have to tell myself "okay now look in their eyes, now look away at the floor, now look at mouth, now look to the left of you, now back at the eyes for 3 seconds, 3 , 2 1, okay now back at the ground".

God damn it's hard living this way. I wish people would just accept that i'm not looking directly into your eyes because i'm trying to actually listen to what you're trying to say and process it and my response, it doesn't mean i'm ignoring you or not listening, it's the exact opposite.

their right eye.

This is also a posture thing that people "all" do with out thinking about it except most of "us" here conversation is only 10% words 90% your posture, stance etc.