20 Jan 2014, 4:08 pm
I've never actually seen a real friendship come out of the work environment. The businesses I have worked for tend to foster an environment of hatred, and distrust. If I were to guess, this is done because it makes labor activism and cooperation unworkable, and workers lose their inhibitions on informing on each other for things like lateness. Does this help productivity? Maybe. Stalin and Mao certainly got a lot of work out of people. There are other, possibly better paths toward productivity, but that's beside the point since this style of management is based on hatred.
Gate keep something people need, and they will be sycophants for as long as they think you have power over them. At some point you will figure out what your colleagues are really about, and you won't want to socialise with them. Still, it's better to not have them at your throat.
Using base totems of masculinity will serve to convince the cretins you work with that you are more masculine than them which is a good way to get them not to act like jerks to your face. These totems include, but are not limited to: Sport, Sex, Weaponry, and all forms of combat. Casually mention that you kicked some guys ass on your way to work, or regale them with tales of your exploits at the Dojo. Most importantly, remember to tell them about the women you have had sex with recently. It doesn't even matter if they're hookers or made up. No one will fact-check this. The important thing is in establishing that you are more sexually potent than your stupid colleagues. God knows why this stuff gets you respect, but it does.
I read about a good tip on gaining workplace respect in the Dilbert Principle. Get a subscription to a magazine like Soldier of Fortune, and leave them casually lying around the office. Then every so often, ominously mention that you need a few days off to take care of some personal "issues".
Germaine Greer makes some interesting (and true) points about office politics from 22:00 to about 25:00
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-7yoV2eaFo[/youtube] 
