Visual Representation of a Meltdown

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Yeah, the video is frozen now. Heh.

I actually don't think I've ever had a real meltdown. I've had breakdowns where I dissociate from reality because I can't handle people or stress. But I think that's something different. I've always wondered what a real meltdown would feel like. So many of you seem to have them at the drop of a hat.

I have had fewer and fewer over the years. I think I may have had one or two in the past year, while as a kid I had them a few times a week. I don't think I've actually outgrown them, I just learned to avoid the situations that would push me to that point, or to get out before things went that far.

It does feel much like the Frozen scene, to me, except maybe more with fire and lava than with ice and snow. I feel hot, my vision blurs, my heart races, I feel as if I've been slapped in the face and can't think straight, hear a rushing sound, and I will flee and lash out at people who try to stop me. I'll get an impulse to rock, bang my head, or hit myself. At that time the most self-control I can muster is not to hurt people physically. I basically plan my life around avoiding that state.