Is it considered Eye Contact if you lock eyes for < 1 sec

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r84shi37
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26 Jan 2014, 1:29 am

THEIR MOUTHS YOU FOOLS! THEIR MOUTHS!


Seriously, am I the only one that does this? I'm fairly sure that it tricks them and since I've been practicing I've been able to do it indefinitely. Between the eyes and the forehead doesn't really work for me... It's just too close I guess.


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dianthus
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26 Jan 2014, 1:34 am

I look more at people's mouths because it helps me decipher what they are saying when I can't hear well.



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26 Jan 2014, 3:01 am

I get strange sensations when I look at mouths.

It's too close to watching them chew or discovery poor dental care.

I can't think very clearly when talking to someone so I hardly will remember to look at their mouth.


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26 Jan 2014, 12:16 pm

Callista wrote:
Maybe you could people-watch a little bit. Go to a public place, sit somewhere, and watch people interact. Most of them will be NTs.


I actual recently tried this. I positioned myself in close proximity to three people engaged in a conversation, so I could watch their eyeballs move. I was trying to discern if the people involved in the conversation were actually locking eyes and for how long (as opposed to looking at the mouth or staring out in space).

At one point, one of the people looked at me (perhaps wondering why I was staring in their eyes). Our eyes locked momentarily (as I was watching eye movement) and I immediately looked away. I thought it would be considered a bit creepy if I began watching their eyes again.

I repeated this experiment another time, with the same results (looking away). I suppose it would be best to do this in a lab, behind a two-way mirror.



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26 Jan 2014, 1:27 pm

My coping strategy as been to look just below the eyes. I can't look straight into people eyes because I need to see their mouth move or I lose track of the conversation.



Dr_Cheeba
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26 Jan 2014, 3:08 pm

Eye contact is one of the most uncomfortable things in the world to me... And because I work in sales I have to do it a lot and I F***ING HATE IT!

My strategy is 3-5 seconds (Mississippi style) and look away (Usually at their hands if they're gesturing or their shoulder or off to the side). And force yourself to blink! I don't know if this is a problem for most but I have to think about blinking or else I just stare at you.

But ideally, I like to be doing something while talking to someone (On the computer, your phone, writting..etc) so it's acceptable for you to not be giving as much eye contact.


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26 Jan 2014, 3:14 pm

I do a lot of blinking, jumping up and down, pacing and twirling around whilst I'm in conversation, because it just takes peoples attention away from my stare.

I am really self conscious about it.

Oh and I nearly forgot to answer the op's question too; I think 1 second is enough eye contact.


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Rocket123
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26 Jan 2014, 3:47 pm

Dr_Cheeba wrote:
Eye contact is one of the most uncomfortable things in the world to me... And because I work in sales I have to do it a lot and I F***ING HATE IT!

My strategy is 3-5 seconds (Mississippi style) and look away (Usually at their hands if they're gesturing or their shoulder or off to the side). And force yourself to blink! I don't know if this is a problem for most but I have to think about blinking or else I just stare at you.

But ideally, I like to be doing something while talking to someone (On the computer, your phone, writting..etc) so it's acceptable for you to not be giving as much eye contact.


Dr_Cheeba - Thanks for sharing. Do you consciously think (or count) 3-5 seconds - and plan your blinks as well? How do you think/process all of this at the same time (by this, I mean, listen to what they are saying, translate it, figure out how to respond, etc. as well as this entire strategy about maintaining eye contact)?

babybird wrote:
I do a lot of blinking, jumping up and down, pacing and twirling around whilst I'm in conversation, because it just takes peoples attention away from my stare.

I am really self conscious about it.

Oh and I nearly forgot to answer the op's question too; I think 1 second is enough eye contact.


babybird - Interesting. I typically do not think about blinking. Though, I imagine if I start thinking about it, it could become an obsession. I think I could try the 1 second rule. Anything more would be intolerable.

---

When I was diagnosed, the Psychologist indicated that I had low Executive Function for unstructured situations. The Psychologist indicated some form of deficiency of complex working memory. I suppose that conversation (e.g. socializing, mingling, etc.) is the ultimate unstructured situation. As it is difficult to anticipate what will be communicated in a conversation or where it will go. I compensate for this, by focusing on a limited set of information being communicated (i.e. what is being said). As the other information coming in (say, from facial expressions, eye contact, body language) is too overwhelming to process quickly.