Dr_Cheeba wrote:
Eye contact is one of the most uncomfortable things in the world to me... And because I work in sales I have to do it a lot and I F***ING HATE IT!
My strategy is 3-5 seconds (Mississippi style) and look away (Usually at their hands if they're gesturing or their shoulder or off to the side). And force yourself to blink! I don't know if this is a problem for most but I have to think about blinking or else I just stare at you.
But ideally, I like to be doing something while talking to someone (On the computer, your phone, writting..etc) so it's acceptable for you to not be giving as much eye contact.
Dr_Cheeba - Thanks for sharing. Do you consciously think (or count) 3-5 seconds - and plan your blinks as well? How do you think/process all of this at the same time (by this, I mean, listen to what they are saying, translate it, figure out how to respond, etc. as well as this entire strategy about maintaining eye contact)?
babybird wrote:
I do a lot of blinking, jumping up and down, pacing and twirling around whilst I'm in conversation, because it just takes peoples attention away from my stare.
I am really self conscious about it.
Oh and I nearly forgot to answer the op's question too; I think 1 second is enough eye contact.
babybird - Interesting. I typically do not think about blinking. Though, I imagine if I start thinking about it, it could become an obsession. I think I could try the 1 second rule. Anything more would be intolerable.
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When I was diagnosed, the Psychologist indicated that I had low Executive Function for unstructured situations. The Psychologist indicated some form of deficiency of complex working memory. I suppose that conversation (e.g. socializing, mingling, etc.) is the ultimate unstructured situation. As it is difficult to anticipate what will be communicated in a conversation or where it will go. I compensate for this, by focusing on a limited set of information being communicated (i.e. what is being said). As the other information coming in (say, from facial expressions, eye contact, body language) is too overwhelming to process quickly.