Judging people on appearance

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I have really bad vision so I tend to judge on actions and personality more than anything else.

I judge people by their avatars.
In real life it is hard to judge people.

Me too. But appearance not so much but I know I should do that too or else I could end up in bad situations.

Actions can't control feelings, but feelings can control actions, that's what I'm trying to say.

At least, that's the case for myself and tons of other people. The world IS a superficial, hostile, short-sighted place, after all. I wouldn't have so many problems with people if they were more accepting of me, and allowed me to be more accepting of them.



A lot of people, both offline and online say that I seem like a nice person, so generally that's an image I try to maintain, as I do honestly believe that in a lot of ways, I am in fact a nice person. I'm not perfect though, and I do have quite a number of flaws. My tendency to pre-judge is just one of them.

On a related note, when I saw Sashiku's avatar, I had a similar impression, though I will admit that I am somewhat biased since I have a soft spot for cute anthro characters, and I find them to be more noticeable in forum avatars than a lot of other things.

Last edited by mr_bigmouth_502 on 10 Mar 2014, 3:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have been through a few traumatic experiences in my life that left my self esteem and ego shattered, and I have bad body language to boot because of my aspergers, I quite often get accused of things just because I am an easy target.

Bullies messed with me from first grade till last, gay men hit on me hundreds of times while women wouldn't hardly even look at me. in some of the places I worked women accused me of giving them that hopeful eye and so they felt I was harassing them when I didn't even notice them to begin with. at my work, when someone leaves something unlocked or moves anything or what ever and the tenants don't like it they blame me, when it was my boss or some other tenant doing it, and that happens to me allot. when ever I had difficulties in my life and got accused of something they most always seem to want to take the other persons word for it and ignore my own. A neighbor lady most every time she sees me out side she calls the landlord and tries to find something to complain about just because she doesn't like me living next door to her.

Its never ending. its because of all that crap that I isolated my self from people.

Are you saying you feel that other people have targeted you because they judge you negatively for your appearance and body language? Or do you mean something else?

Yes, I even been told as much by those whom have targeted me before, being told I looked to be an easy target.

If you can relax here, which I understand will be hard after all you've been through, then I hope it may be possible there is a less targeting, and when it happens, I hope it will be easier to get away.

I am not sure how to take your statement.
Easier for you to get away? if so then fine, just go away. you know my soul not.

Otherwise it does no good, the more I try and hide in the shadows the more others treat me as some shady character to be judged.. and the more they judge me the more I prefer the shadows. you may feel me a coward, but you have not seen what I been through without that support and understanding.. rejection is all I know, I am not your problem. no peer support.

For me peer support is NOT someone I have to pay for for that support.. to me that is a lie that I am asking to be told. who am I if I must give my self up to become what others want me to become just to fit in. I lose my self. what if I lived in a totally Cristian world, and I chosen to be pagan? how am I to be true to my self when no one will accept me for who I am. I become shadow. I had rather become that shadow then the slave you want me to become.

am unable to discriminate to judge a person from another,to self all people are of the same build and look-just generic shapes,am unable to discriminate race even when their skin colour looks different, discriminating and seeing people as entirely different to each other is a concept that goes beyond self.

I've seen 40+ year old women with pink hair, and not for cosplays or fashions shows.....makes me think they're ghetto.

I hardly look at people carefully enough to judge. I think I really have to try hard to absorb a person's looks. Like if I just sit outside a cafe and intentionally doing people watching, I might pick up some info. I don't pick up a lot of information, though. I might get "he's wearing boots and a hoodie and carrying a messenger bag..." before this person vanish from my view. I rarely get to the face or head. Might as well. I'm horrible with face recognition anyway. I can't easily recognize my doctor or therapist if I met them in grocery stores. I'm only sure about our next door neighbor of 11 years if he's standing in front of his house or sitting in his car.

I do judge people a lot from what they say. I try to associate with nice people only.

Appearance isn't always what I judge by, because some people are loud, raucous, disrespectful, vulgar and cocky just by the way they act. I've seen people ready to fight over a place in line for a party.

I do judge people on how they dress and what kind of hair style they have. I do this knowingly and willingly. Part of this is because I have a hard time recognizing faces so I can more readily recognize a person on the style of clothing and hair they wear in addition to their personality as I get to know them better.

I even made a career out of it for six years as a costume designer for film.

I find judging people on what they wear to be really helpful in the early stages of knowing then. For example if someone is wearing business style clothing and everything is very neat and careful I will know that they are likely a neat and careful person and I will make sure my language and posture is more formal. And if they are wearing things in a more relaxed way, like a loose t-shirt and well worn jeans I will take a more relaxed tone. For me its more about how they wear their clothing than what they wear.

This kind of judgement only holds up until I get to know a person better, I still use it later on because it helps me to recognize people. Though sometimes this can backfire if they make a drastic change in their style.

I generally try not to judge people by there looks, but usually fail. Generally they either seem nice, or not so nice and i don't bother trying to get to know them. I very rarely meet people i don't like, but the few times i do i really hate them, and so par I've been right in those cases. That said, it's been very few cases.