Specific things you do to look NT

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I want to pretend to be NT because my family and myself need shelter and food. Basically, I need a job. For me to have money to get the things I need or want, I need to convince somebody else to part with their money for whatever I have or service I can provide.

I Just have to accept that I won't be 100% like them, but for sure I can knock off the edges.

You can decide to completely do your own thing, just don't get mad when they get mad or choose not to associate with you. They are the vast majority, we are the minority, they set the rules, we have to use our brains to try to figure them out.

When reading this post, I see evidence that although I am on the spectrum, others have it much worse than I do. Sorry if I have offended you or if I am having a hard time seeing your point of view. Please consider the reciprocal.

The problem is that it can't always be done their way and they need to learn to accept difference. We should not be condoning or just accepting the majority and their cockeyed belief systems.

Some one needs to protest and fast....

Personally I work best and produce higher quality work by using my methods, not theirs. Theirs are ineffective and often pointless (ie obsessing over their ego when something does not work how they wanted it to (failure) instead of finding a solution and correcting the problem..in what f*****g universe is sticking your head up the arse of your own ego more productive and desirable than solving the issue and getting everythign working smoothly again? Only in this backward f*****g society run by dim ditzy idiot NTs and their emotional ego orientated codswallop).

Take a look at society...at teh environment.

The majority are messing it up, they don't know their arse from their elbow.

I am not going to follow a majority that simply does not seem to know what the f**k it is doing.

When it starts to understand the simple stuff, I'll think about going along, right now it seems to be busy demonstrating what an idiot the majority is.

To be like them is to reduce your IQ substantially. And I am not being nasty, these people who are the 'majority' are seriously god damned thick. Not to mention obsessed with their ego to the point where it can easily disable them. If anything I pity them as they will spend their whole never really truly seeing what they have got..so far up their own arse have they rammed their own heads. Prisioners of their own self obsession and nothing more.

I'd rather be poor and be nothing like them.

I am not waiting for one of the majority to give me job..I'll make my own job eventually.

This society can stick its slavery to the majority up its own a***hole, if there is room up there what with all the ego that seems to have engulfed everyone.

What an awful way to live...crippled by your own lack of perfection when perfection is some f*****g ideal you made up for yourselves and doesn't even exist.

I'll take a pass and go do something more interesting...such as learn something new, have a new experience, travel, dance, sing, eat some food I enjoy, ponder the nature of the universe for my own entertainment, give something to charity, help a stranger and so on. Far more fascinating than constantly w*king off my own ego all day.

god humans are boring with their ego obsession....

Don't NT people do all of those things?

I don't make myself appear NT because it feels fake and unnatural. I also appear pretty normal to most people as well.

I don´t, - apart from combing my hair and sticking to short answers, when asked: "How are you".

You do not appear "normal" to me at all. You are WAAAY too nice and sweet and infused with too many other awesome traits to seem even remotely "normal" to me.

I don't think of it as trying to look NT, but rather always trying for higher functioning autism. All NT means is, not autistic. So the higher functioning I become, the less autistic I become.

This. If I can't be intense (negative, AND positive) - I'm quiet. I can't be passionate and be myself if I feel the other person isn't going to be interested in what I say, which is 99% of the time. In order to get people to take you seriously, you have to have a calm manner.

It's interesting how humans have got to that. Like any other animals in a fight would stop, take deep breaths, and start reasoning with each other sensibly. It's the "rational" argument and all that. "I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at what you said".

Uhh, no actually, I AM angry at you.

We just have to take a deep breath...suppress in all that anger...breathe out again...and forget that our real opinions are worth anything. I'm pretty sure that inner calmness destroys people, if not their personalities.

My best effort in the faking NT department comes in the form of smiling pretty much constantly. If someone looks at me, I smile, if they're talking to me, I smile as they're talking (because I have a hard time identifying my own expressions and don't want to be unintentionally scowling at them the whole time), if I'm at work, I smile at everybody I walk past, customers and co-workers alike. I like feeling like it's sort of a social experiment: watching peoples' need to conform in action; if I smile, they are compelled to smile back.

I also try to curb my stimming when faking NT, or when I'm around people who would be weirded out by it, such as customers and co-workers. I stim absently a lot; bouncing my wrists off my legs, flicking my fingers near the sides of my head, etc. and I have to make a conscious effort not to do that when I'm "in disguise." I'm sure there are a lot of other things I could practise doing to pass for NT more effectively, but what I've got already takes up all my energy.

I don't want to be NT, not because there's anything wrong with them inherently, but because they are not who I am. There are situations however, where I am forced to pretend to be like them. If I didn't fake it at work, I'd get fired for being antisocial. If I didn't fake it at parties (which I only attend at my parents' behest) people would think I'm an a**hole, and I don't want them thinking that of me because it's not true. It doesn't take that much effort to smile at people when I normally wouldn't, and laugh when someone makes a joke I don't understand. If I could go live on an island by myself, or maybe with my immediate family, I would do it, because then I wouldn't have to pretend, but if I want to put myself through school and not get a reputation for being unfriendly (thereby losing any opportunity to make friends) then I have to fake it sometimes. I don't like that the majority makes the rules any more than you, but somebody has to, otherwise there would be chaos.

I don't do things to appear NT, so much as I do things to avoid drawing any undue attention to myself and keep some personal distance from people who might bother me or try to take advantage of me in some way. In that mode I may smile more than I normally would, stand up straighter, make eye contact more when I'm talking to people (or in some situations avoid eye contact like if I'm passing by someone who looks shady), project my voice more clearly and assertively. I try to appear more like I'm aware of my surroundings and not lost in my own little world. It takes a lot of effort to do these things.

If I go out in public, and I'm not projecting myself that way, I find that people just keep pestering me, wanting to talk to me, asking me nosy questions, etc. It's weird because I would have thought if you look self-absorbed or far away people will just leave you alone. But it actually works the opposite way, if you look like you are in your own world, it's like it makes people want to draw you out in the open and engage them more.

Not the ones I meet don't no...they keep going on and on about self hatred and self esteem and all of that psychobabble clap trap nonsense that is incompatible with my belief systems because I lean more towards egalitarianism (I believe all humans have equal rights and deserve to be treated humanely with respect, even the ones I don't like...after all they are feeling, living conscious critters) whereas all this wortlessness shite is heirarchical. I basically get annoyed at having their belief systems shoved down my throat all the time. Yet if it were the other way around and I was going on about my beliefs everyone would say I was doing wrong.

They all seem to be obsessed with their egos. It's why I no longer socialise much with Norfolk people, excluding a few nice ladies (one of whom offered to buy me a coffee as I didn't have any money that day) at a recent drawing class I attended (had to abandon the pottery class after it...too many people (there were only 4 people in the drawing group compared to over 10 in the pottery group), the class said beginners but seemed to assume that i knew what various technical terms meant when I have not even handled clay before and had not had time to read a book beforehand to acquire said terms (this is what i usually do) and because of the supermarket strip lighting (can't think, can't process with that light...at home i have my work station near a window and only work with artificial light if it's too dark due to being over cast or sometimes at night. However i usually go to bed when it starts to get dark as part of my paleo thing so don't use artificual light at night very often) in the studio they were using. All factors considered and considering I was close to getting upset in public I decided to quietly leave and find a smaller group in a different studio in the future, or work at home with some clay (non firing as I don't have a kiln so it will be either DAS air drying modelling clay or Fimo polymer clay or similar) instead) all people around here talk about is self hatred stuff.

It's freaked me out and made me feel I don't want to try to socialise if people are going to be like that.

Such as when I went in my local...that man coming up to me and saying "no one wants to speak to you becuase you are too weird, you hate yourself don't you"

I have no idea how to respond to that other than to say no I don't hate myself but it makes socialising very difficult and I seem to find it hard at the best of times.

Someone before that that I met kept on and on about my being hard on myself and beating myself up when in actual fact I don't do those things. I dont have self esteem issues, I don't expect myself to be perfect, I don't mind if I'm not good at something...i usually find it funny. I don't want to spend my life trying to live up to some ideal I dont share as an ideal with the society I live in either...I just want to enjoy being alive and exploring who and what I actualy am. I only get one life and I don't want to spend it making myself miserable because I am not what society thinks I should be as a human.

I am what I am, I don't mind. I just like to explore what I can do.

Yes NTs can do those things listed above but they have vastly different motivations.

I want to go to Uni because I love to learn, outside of having to take care of survivial 101 (which I need to do so I can survive biologically) I don't care if it gets me a better job, although doing a job in a feild I enjoy would be very nice. The main reason I study is because I love studying. NTs only go to Uni for the status and the better paid employment, they don't respect the learning, the knowledge, the science or the art...they don't love it, they do it to get somewhere in life.

I am the same with my art classes...I don't care much for doing my art in the way they want for me to get a certificate, in that way I don't like art class a I want to work art that I feel inspired to work purely for the joy of working it. There were a few others that were there for the learning experience in my recent class but I find that very rare, most people I meet just want status or acclaim from what they are doing.

some people do things for charity but so becuase they want something to boast about so its demonstrates what a wonderful person they are and ergo feeds their ego. I give to charity because I am genuinely upset by seeing someone else suffering and I want to help me for what would seem a selfish reason actually...i want to alleviate the upset I am feeling by seeing another living creature hurt so inorder to do that I help them. I also help because I just want to, sometimes I just like to do that for no real reason other than I just felt like it. I no longer think of it in terms of making a good or bad person. I am neither good nor bad actaully, I just am.

Motive and intention makes a difference to me, its not just waht a person does, it is also WHY they do it.

Last edited by bumble on 26 Jul 2014, 1:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

Even support services keep on about self esteem..i rarely see them if I can help it, only when absolutely necessary.

Life is so short and you only get one go around...one life to learn all the fascinating things out there, to have all the wonderful experiences you want to have, to have adventures and so and so forth and all people expect me to do with my one and only life is sit around hating myself because I don't fit into some societal ideal of perfection when it comes to a human being?

What a terrible terrible terrible waste! I can't do it...I don't care for all this self esteem bollocks. I just want to enjoy my life, try new things, learn all the things I am fascinated by, explore, experience, have adventures...be curious about myself, understand and get to know what I truly am, not make myself into what the world wants me to be.

I don't even share societies ideals in regards to waht I consider a desirable human...they seem to value power, status, aggression and hierarchy and bullying whereas I like kind souls. Kind souls are beautiful no matter what walk of life they come from. Whether they are rich or poor, dominant or submissive, black or white or any other skin colour you can think of.

I look for souls that respect life and the life they were given, for souls who learn because they love it, for souls who yearn for adventure (whatever adventure is them..adventure can be different for everyone and can range from trying a new food to extreme sports or travelling) and so on and so forth.

This self esteem issue is driving me mad...there is no happiness to be found there, just endless ego obsession and the associated misery.

People expecting me to hate myself becuase I don't have much materialistically...I choose not to have many of those things. I spend my cash on learning classes or art supplies or on my hobbies instead. I don't care for posh overpriced furnishings (a place can look nice with cheaper stuff) or high tec gadgets just to show off my status or some bollocks...i wanted a more simplistic basic modest life. I like its simplicity, the quiet pace my life takes. I have a laptop as it has its uses, but I don't have a kindle or a large screen tv or computer consoles...i never use them anyway. I still like to read books (usually from the library to save paper unless i need to buy the book myself), i learn new things instead of watching telly (everyone i meet is obsessed with staring mindlessly at that atrocious box...not that i never stared at it, I did once upon a time but it got boring) and I want to make and design many of my own home furnishings (partly why my place is not decorated yet...its my canvas and its a work in progress) not buy stuff from a store that comes in a flat pack box or packaging (although I don't mind buying somethings in flat pack format).

Yet people will judge and think I should hate myself.

They also think I should hate myself becuase I can't do certain things....Sorry but I don't mind that there are things I can't do, I prefer to focus on the things I can do instead. I am curious about myself and don't care to judge myself in the way others want me to. I don't find their judgments to be realistic. Most are based on narrowminded ignorant belief systems they cling to in order to try and make sense of a world they don't truly understand.

Shame, perhaps if they loved learning more they'd understand how things work more...

Most of the belief systems they habour are delusions and some of those delusions are dangerous. They cause harm...look at all the lives lost in the name of religion for example!

I won't condone such belief systems and this whole self esteem thing is one of the worst! Why? it devalues life and that is a problem becuase once you start to devalue a life then you open up the door for abuse, discrimination and prejudice.....

The next support worker to rattle on at me about worhtlessness or self esteem gets a lecture on how bad I believe that belief system is and how I have no intention of condoning it on joining in with the rest of society in regards to....

What a world eh, when we are expect to hate ourselves. No human should have to hate themselves.

Be curious about yourself without judgment instead.

The only ways i use judgment is when it comes to behavour that is harmful and that is why I am so judgmental about that belief system...its hurting people, it IS causing harm. So many people out there in pain they don't need to be in because of such ridiculous concepts as self esteem and worthlessness and hierarchy.

It's no different to religion and just as dangerous. Yes i know things like religion can bring people together but it can also just as easily rip them apart....

Man is delusional and his belief systems can cause a huge amount of harm....