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How do you express feelings without ''moaning''?

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Who_Am_I
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07 Oct 2014, 6:33 pm

Joe90 wrote:
It was more of a rhetorical question, I wasn't literally asking my friend's permission.


But you did end up doing what she wanted.


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little_blue_jay
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07 Oct 2014, 7:50 pm

Dillogic wrote:
I totally expected something different based on the thread title.


This isn't the over 18 section 8O :lol:


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NiceCupOfTea
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07 Oct 2014, 8:03 pm

Joe90 wrote:
NiceCupOfTea wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I thought it was only Autistics who can pick up/sense other people's vibes? There was a thread on WP a while ago about it. Sorry, not getting at anyone, I just get really confused and stressed when I see contradictions. :)


No, that's not true at all. Everyone subconsciously picks up on other people's behaviour. Too lazy to dig up anything right now, but studies have shown that first impressions are formed within 30 seconds of first meeting somebody (at a job interview, say). And once first impressions are formed, they can be hard to undo.

It's called gut instinct. It's not infallible, but without the ability to make instinctive decisions, the human race would have died out ages ago. As far as I know, Aspies are no better at this than anyone else. If anything, in some cases I would have thought they were worse at it. The classic example being the Aspie who goes on and on about his or her special interest and doesn't notice the listener's eyes glazing over with boredom.


I posted a link to the thread.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt259822. ... oPGRs.dpuf


I know. I saw it and read the thread, but it was just a bunch of people agreeing that, yes, they sense other people's vibes.

That says nothing except about the people who replied. It doesn't say anything about anyone else.



dianthus
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07 Oct 2014, 8:46 pm

Some people just have the mindset that they are going to do what they want to do, and you are supposed to come along without any objections. They can be really pleasant about it at first, so you don't spot right away that they are doing this. You don't realize it until you really need to use the bathroom, or eat or drink something, or get out of a rainstorm, and they won't wait one freaking minute.



Dillogic
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07 Oct 2014, 9:14 pm

little_blue_jay wrote:
This isn't the over 18 section 8O :lol:


I know, man. I guess I'm just in the gutter with Who_Am_I (don't you tell me you didn't read it how I did).



little_blue_jay
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08 Oct 2014, 3:18 am

Dillogic wrote:
little_blue_jay wrote:
This isn't the over 18 section 8O :lol:


I know, man. I guess I'm just in the gutter with Who_Am_I (don't you tell me you didn't read it how I did).


I didn't :shrug: :lol:

And I'm a woman :wink: (which probably explains why I didn't)

8)


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Deano109
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08 Oct 2014, 4:04 am

If you speak your mind and need to say something negative to someone, its always good if you can do it to actually start and end with positive statements. Eg, "I had a really good time on Saturday night. I'll admit I don't particularly appreciate it when you turn up at my home unannounced, but you are a good friend". The middle sentence on its own might sound like moaning, but surround it in positive comments, and you can get your point across in a way that doesn't sound too bad.



Joe90
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08 Oct 2014, 11:56 am

NiceCupOfTea wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
NiceCupOfTea wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I thought it was only Autistics who can pick up/sense other people's vibes? There was a thread on WP a while ago about it. Sorry, not getting at anyone, I just get really confused and stressed when I see contradictions. :)


No, that's not true at all. Everyone subconsciously picks up on other people's behaviour. Too lazy to dig up anything right now, but studies have shown that first impressions are formed within 30 seconds of first meeting somebody (at a job interview, say). And once first impressions are formed, they can be hard to undo.

It's called gut instinct. It's not infallible, but without the ability to make instinctive decisions, the human race would have died out ages ago. As far as I know, Aspies are no better at this than anyone else. If anything, in some cases I would have thought they were worse at it. The classic example being the Aspie who goes on and on about his or her special interest and doesn't notice the listener's eyes glazing over with boredom.


I posted a link to the thread.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt259822. ... oPGRs.dpuf


I know. I saw it and read the thread, but it was just a bunch of people agreeing that, yes, they sense other people's vibes.

That says nothing except about the people who replied. It doesn't say anything about anyone else.


I know, but it seems to be implying that it is an ''Aspie thing'' to be able to read other people and feel their emotions and so on. :?


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NiceCupOfTea
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08 Oct 2014, 10:00 pm

(The quoting boxes are getting too big for comfort.)

@Joe90 - Well, it's not really an Aspie thing... :-/ Obviously some Aspies can be very sensitive to other people's moods (I think I'm one of them as well), but if it was really unique to Asperger's, then it would likely be a part of the diagnostic criteria and it isn't.

It may be that some Aspies have learned to become more sensitive because of not fitting in. Maybe instead of socialising within a group, they've sat there silently observing the other people at conversation instead. If Aspies really are more attuned to other people's feelings than NTs, then I would suspect it's because they've learnt to be rather than because of anything innate (present from birth).

It's late and I have a niggling headache, so I may not have expressed it the best possible way... >.>



Joe90
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09 Oct 2014, 4:33 am

I know that sensing and feeling other people's and emotions is not an Aspie thing, I always thought it was a normal human trait. That is why I hate to bring up that particular thread, because it confused me. I'm not the sort to pick out a random trait about myself and consider it an Aspie thing. I mean not something as common as something like sneezing at dust or getting brain freeze when eating something cold, etc.


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r84shi37
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09 Oct 2014, 7:59 pm

When I was younger I literally moaned in a horribly annoying voice. Now I don't really express feelings at all.


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