Apparently I'm a risk.

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As long as you don't reject the child if he/she happens to be on the Spectrum.

But I don't think you'd do that. You're a pretty nice person.

The Spectrum could be a hard thing--but it could also be a rewarding thing if one's strengths, rather than one's weaknesses are emphasized.

But one thing that's absolutely true: one has to acclimate the Spectrumite to the social "outer world."

Just to put this in perspective, you can get an NT child with severe mental health problems. Also, Steel Maiden has schizophrenia and OCD, which I imagine are not exactly helping any.

@SM - Have you been under any increased stress lately? If your meltdowns are getting worse, then I can't help thinking there must be some reason for that. I know you live in the London suburbs and, tbh, London stresses normal people out. (I used to live in Harrow, so I'm pretty familiar with north west London.) It's almost certainly not feasible, but theoretically if you could move to an idyllic rural village, do you think you'd be calmer?

In my case, I started getting meltdowns as a delayed reaction to severe and prolonged stress. They were in a different class to anything I'd had before. I don't really want to compare them to yours, as mine only happen occasionally (but are severe when they do happen). I just wanted to make the point that chronic stress of the 'bad' type drastically lowers our ability to cope.

I find even the good type of stress can lower my ability to cope if there's way too much of it.