Help, should me and NT husband divorce?

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You're welcome. And lol oops, sorry I added a "e" to "carer" unintentionally (I mean in my mind). And yes, it can be disabling, but we have to find ways around some issues when possible (which you are already working on - myself I really have to work on that too). And keep in mind that if something ever happened to your husband, you would have to be able to do take care of yourself, your child, and everything else (there might be some governmental help for certain things tho). I had a taste of this about a month ago, when my husband almost died of a pneumonia and blood infection, I had to call the ambulance and he was at the hospital for almost 2 weeks. I was lucky in a way tho, because they were very nice to me and let me stay with him the whole time, I slept there, and I was even getting guest trays for the meals. But especially the first days, when he was still "out of it", I felt very lost and unable to take care of myself, I had no idea what to do.



I agree with you.



Again I wish you good luck Felinelover

Yes.

I heard a short story once about how wrong the other idea is. The basic plot was She sacrifices her favorite thing to support his dream while he sacrifices his dream to support her favorite thing. Now he has lost his dream and she has lost her favorite thing and they both resent each other. Not a healthy way of life.

Why do you want her to cripple his life? If they ever did get divorced, why would you want them to have a terrible relationship, which would make it difficult not only for her (ex) husband, but also for Felinelover, for their child, and possibly for the other people who might be involved in their life? Not to mention that the (ex) husband would defend himself and probably try to get custody of the child. And she is correct, in most cases men get the short straw. I speak by experience, my husband's ex-wife is a terrible person (I won't go into details, just take my word for it), and I ended up spending all my inheritance to help him pay for child and spousal support because his ex's spousal and child support was calculated on one of his good years (he worked in construction), but he never had another good year like that, so she ended up getting over 3/4 of his salary (in addition to her own job), and we have been struggling financially ever since we've been together. Note there was not only one victim of his ex-wife's greed, there was 3: my husband, myself, and their son (she tried very hard to alienate their son, was telling him his father was evil, etc, but thankfully she didn't succeed).

Virginia Satir is the best reading about family relationships (imo) http://www.amazon.com/Virginia-Satir/e/B001KIYHDW

Divorce is often hard on kids... they hate it! I was married and when I look back on it now, I can see clearly that MY problems made everything worse.

Yes, her book "Peoplemaking" was huge in its time. So were "I'm OK You're OK", "Games People Play" "Scripts People Live" - all around the same time. They were very influential, as was Carl Rogers' humanistic psychotherapeutic approach (Satir was an offshoot of that in some ways).

Maybe some different, more specific, advice besides marriage counseling.
Depending on your hobby, you could make some money with it. That would be helpful.

Also, for housekeeping, try working one one room a day and completely clean that one room. Also, of course keep the kids cleaning their own room.

HFA can be a disability, so you could go through DARS (If your from America) to get job training if you wanted.

You still have so many options in front of you. I think divorce should be the last option in this scenario.

I wish you and your family luck.

The "not suited to marriage" issue is something many cultures ignore. With it commonly being assumed that it something for everyone.

It's good you are thinking more about your husband and child because taking divorce is not a good decision as this is complete breaking of families. I feel every couple should by themselves first sit and clear their doubts and misunderstanding by themselves or take an advice from good legal adviser.

And more specifically, mutual trust, respect, and attraction. Although it is related to trust, I'd include honesty in healthy love too.
Feeling sympathy is not love - I made that mistake with wife 1.0.
Don't stay for the sake of kids. A happy divorced parent is better than an unhappy married one.

This was going to be my point. My parents stayed together 10 years too long 'because of the children' (me and my brothers) and the entire time was unbearable. Children are sponges, if the environment they live in is toxic they know about it, they soak it up, they become unhappy. Not to mention the turbulent emotions flying about the place which cause chaos and confusion for children (and adults obvs but I felt that had already been made clear by previous posters).

I wish with all my being that my parents had divorced before we were born, they'd both be a million times happier and we children would know no different.