What's the most challenging thing about your dissabiliy

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Doubts!

What did they mean by that? Did I say the correct thing? Did I give the right response? Did I understand it correctly? Am I still worth the same as “normal” people?

Two things:
#1: Figuring out how to survive in a world that highly values social interaction.
#2: Worrying and obsessing too much, about everything

I suppose though officially diagnosed with Level 1 ASD - I am on the more mild end of the spectrum. The difficulties that I face the most, are nervousness, anxiety and despair/depression. It is also very difficult for me to handle unscheduled/non-routine activities that are necessary. I realize that compared to some people on the spectrum I probably have it easy in that I can live a relatively normal life albeit with some difficulties.

Staying alive,
oh nearly droven over from behind by my friendly nb, to find out my breakfest has become sugar-coated

Being too much in my own head to notice things going on around me.

Dealing with Cluster B people.

Interacting with most NT types are nothing like these.

Both of my parents and one sibling are Cluster B.

I have huge problem with bureaucracy.

Other people seem to remember they are supposed to bring a paper to the office or that they already brought a paper and they know what to do to get one without much trouble.

I must ask other people exactly what kind of paper it is, what it is for, when we were supposed to bring it before I even know what they are talking about. And I have to go to the office and ask workers if my paper is already there and what should I do to bring it if it is not.

If it involves just filling a form they give me directly it's OK but if they say "you must go to the other office for confirmation then bring it here before filling the form" another bunch of questions appears: I go to the other office(which office, where it is, who do I talk to there?) and then what? How I ask for the paper? Should I tell them what kind of paper I need or they already know? How do I explain it to them if they don't? What if they refuse to give it to me?
...

And worst in the worst: Sometimes when you go to another office for a paper the another office tells you they will give you a paper if you go to one more office and then one more and one more. In the end I have no idea what kind of paper I needed in the 1st place and I don't remember which office to to with the paper I got to get the paper I need.

When I get a bureaucracy task I feel like this even if other people consider the task relatively easy ("Just go there and get it, no big deal."):

Anxiety is the worst, I think; often a fear of things that makes no sense. There are times when I get frustrated with it and it just feels like I'm afraid of EVERYTHING.

Constant confusion is also pretty bad at times, as I space out way too easily and will then do things like try to open a hotel room door with my car key remote, and then stand there for 5 seconds wondering why it's not working before realizing what I just did. When I can manage to stay focused, it cant happen, but.... of course, managing that is the difficult part!

And of course, all of the usual social problems.

And back when I used to work, well.... just LOTS of problems, and constant failure.

What's a "Cluster B" person?

1. I wish I could always come up with the right word at the right time.

2. I wish I could apply myself better to improving my knowledge-base through study.

3. I wish I didn't have difficulties conversing with people in a group setting.

4. I wish I didn't get all frazzled all the time when "multi-tasking."

Many others.

I have serious problems in spiritual area. I had "scary' scrupulosity when I was about 16 - 18 years old. Now I have problems with confessing sins. Confessing sins, obligatory examination of conscience and idea of eternal damnation are not logical and senseless to my wimpy, "sensitive" and atypical mentality. I have problems with confession again. I did many very stupid things as a child and young adolescent. Some of them might result in large tragedy. "Traditional" religions are "not natural for me", but not monotheism itself. I believe in afterlife. But some requirements in religions are scary and (or) senseless to my "childish" mentality. I have fear of eternal damnation and pain is very large evil for me.

A priest said me something like that it is very probably that people like me are not able to commit sacrilege because of lack of the matter due to their disorders. The same priest said that it is very probably that I will never be able to be in marriage. It would mean that I am "sentenced" to celibacy to the end of my earthly life. It is bad that I have serious need of having the wife, the female partner (even since quite early childhood). But I agree with the opinion that it is really probably that I will never be able to be a husband. A priest also said something like that I can have care allowance (I can't translate the phrase "należy ci się zasiłek pielęgnacyjny" precisely), so it means that I would have not so small disability.

My religion is in some aspects VERY HARD for me. I have diagnosis of Asperger's and schizotypal at the moment, I get paroxetine (just 10 mg per day, but it may make me significantly more "slower" or "drowsy"). I have no friends and my family is mildly dysfunctional in my opinion. I have (almost) no help in the area of my disorders from parents. My parents may think that I am lazy, even my sister (who is about 14 years old) sometimes called me "moron".

The most difficult things involve convincing others that I know what I'm talking about.

Although there is some gratification in being able to say, "I told you so" after the spit hits the Spam.