Voice...Too Loud?

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I USED TO ALL THE TIME! IT MADE PEOPLE AROUND ME CRAZY AND DEAF!
But then I learned to tone it down. I can down tone pretty well unless I FORGET!

LOL! Beautiful metaphor opportunity there...some people permanently have the irl caps lock on ;D

And others are always typing in subscript.

It is frustrating...as my laugh is loud too, and it puts me off laughing when I find anything funny, especially in my mother's company... I mean, the irony is, she asks me to smile more, but when I laugh, I get told to shush

my son talks too loud too, it gets him into trouble at school a lot (I'm working on that though, I don't think he should get into trouble for something he can't help, save it for the "real" stuff, you know like throwing scissors at kids!). They have a "trick" here that is used in the school system that we also use at home to help him regulate better. We talk at Levels, Level 0 is no talking, Level 1 is whispering, Level 2 a normal voice, Level 3-5 progressively louder etc. This may work with him about 25% of the time--but remember he is only 6 . If he is excited or upset then the levels of course mean nothing to him. Truthfully I am kind of used to it by now and don't notice it so much.

My parents are always telling me I talk to loud. My mother claims I give her headaches.

yes and people always confront me about that
when i get told to be quiet i end up too quiet lol

I'm guessing I used to do this all the time. I did this at least until when I was about 10 or so, when during school assembly someone pointed out to me that I was praying too loud. Since then I've tried to control it to varying degrees, but the perpetual awareness of things like the loudness of your voice, and having to check that your register is appropriate for whatever given situation--in addition to having to keep up with everyone else's social cues that normal people are processing by intuition--makes any conversation pretty much impossible.

I'm not sure that my voice is all that loud normally, but it carries. I've had people I'm talking with, all at the same level, and someone will come from a distance and mention that I'm too loud. Worked out well for acting, and helps with teaching though.

Many, many times I got excited and was inadvertently getting louder and louder. If I had strong feelings about something I got loud. Sometimes ppl thing I'm mad. I would stop and say "I'm not mad. Why do you think I'm mad?"
One other time I got so angry (I've never been so angry before or since) I whispered loudly. THAT was weird.
For me anyway

Was interesting. Went to a REXnet meet last night (car club) and my boyfriend (AS) displayed this trait, and was completely oblivious to it There were only a small group of us sitting around the back of one of the Legacys, and because it was a quiet night, we were all speaking fairly softly. Two of the guys are relatively quiet anyway...lol.

He, however, is spectacularly loud. His voice carries well, and he defaults to a near-shout. So we could always hear what he had to say, and not necessarily what everyone else had to say. On top of this he has a habit of interrupting and talking over people (another AS feature?), so the whole night it was pretty much just him talking XD Thankfully we're all good friends and completely used to him doing so, so no one minded

It's tricky knowing when, where and how to add your two cents in a conversation. Most of us dirty NTs have a little gauge in our heads (in varying degrees of accuracy) that tell us when's a good moment and how to go about it. In my man's case, I think all he needs to do is crank the volume down now...he's learning that slowly, he's noted that my pressing-down-on-large-flat-object-repeatedly gesture means speak softly

We usually talk after club meets as it's FANTASTIC experience with interacting with a crowd. There can be up to 20 people sometimes, and everyone's field of interest overlaps his obsession with Subarus (and mine! LOL). At first he would talk over the top of everyone about himself, which pissed people off. I talked about this...the first thing I had him do is try not to dominate the conversation by keeping it short and sharp - he would often go on for 5 or ore sentences, whereas when talking in a group (think people standing around in a circle next to the cars) you really only should have one or two sentences worth per 'turn' UNLESS cued to continue. People will turn away and talk about other things after one or two - this means you've had your say, await your next turn while everyone else throws in a little. If you're lucky, you'll have an anecdote that fits perfectly and just about everyone will listen in fascination at your story Judge people's expressions...unfortunately the eyes have it all, so you need to note if everyone is staring or not. Staring good...looking away bad.

So far so good, his additions to the conversation were a little more brief and hence more easily processed by the group...cue respect points from everyone After this next meet, I talked about the use of 'I'...most of his additions were about him, or directly related to him. It's another Aspie trait I've noticed...there's a very slight tendency towards self-centredness in many (note slight, and note it's not the same as selfishness as most Aspies I know are selfLESS in this regard...generosity and compassion is an AS strong point!), and he's no exception. Kind and generous to a fault, but EVERYTHING is about him :/ So I've urged him to try dropping out the use of 'I' and 'me' so much, and try focussing on talking from someone else's shoes. Talk about someone else as well.

Further respect points at next meet They are all oblivious to the AS, they just think he's growing up and maturing - no longer being so distinctly 17

The only thing he has to work on in groups now, IMO, is the volume. At an ICE meet then sure, loud is good...you need to be able to talk over 138+ dB of hardcore bass At the drags, hell yeah volume is good...gotta talk over roaring exhausts, screeching tyres and cheering crowds. At club meets? Ouch, too much volume is a bad thing But I think this'll be the greatest challenge yet, as his entire family speaks loudly and over the top of each other




But Graelwyn, you shouldn't feel you have to not talk at all just because your mother can't handle your volume She sounds like quite an intolerant, judgemental sort of person if she's that impatient with you as a mother ><; Don't worry, there are plenty of those of us that will either learn to adapt to your volume, or can in a NICE way let you know if it's a bit too much for us Don't feel like you should stay quiet...that's not fair.