High Social Status

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That is true for me, which is something I cannot relate to other Aspies about.

I don't give a s**t about how intelligent I am. When people say "oh you may have AS but you are clever.." it only annoys me. In fact I'd rather have a low IQ and have more friends than be "clever" and have less friends. And people think that giving me a list of famous people with AS will make me feel better about it too, but that does not change my view of having AS.

My social status matters a lot to me. I feel more pleased when I fit in, and I get depressed if I don't. If I fit in and feel liked and accepted at work, I feel a lot more motivated in my job and can show better job performance. If I feel lonely and isolated, it hits me hard and I feel too depressed to work.

Is it normal for me to feel like this if I'm an Aspie?

"I hate lying and liars but will do this annoying thing for over an hour to a person, which involves lying, because I think it is funny, and how it is funny is mired in social context"

Based on the description for "social status", I'm one of the ones that really... just doesnt care at all.

I dont care if people respect me (I'm hardly around anyone anyway), I cant imagine what they'd admire, I dont care about deference (I just do whatever I want, and typically dont need anyone's help or want it; I ignore them, they can ignore me, and whatever I'm doing, I'm probably alone to begin with), and I definitely cant see myself as having "social value" based on it's definition. ....not that anyone would even SEE any of that, since I"m around other people so rarely.

But yeah, I really just dont give a fart. None of the effects of a high social status are relevant/useful to me, so why bother concerning myself with it? Going after it would be alot of effort that I could put into things that are actually interesting.

So, if that's the definition of Status, does Social Status imply receiving that same "stuff" (respect/admiration, voluntary deference, social value) from a particular "group" of people?

When I was young I had an average Social Status with a particular set of people - those classified as being losers/outcasts. And, I had extremely low Social Status with almost everyone else.

I was accepted by the losers/outcasts, I suppose, because there is strength in numbers.

She's older than you, the hierarchy demands that you respect your elders, regardless of the foolishness they do.

When dealing with different neurotypes, the outward behaviors do not always have the same mechanisms underneath, so the origins and goals can be quite different.

In the case of outwardly "playing the game", I have found myself doing it as a social experiment just to study how other people react to it, much like an alien anthropologist would approach a study. The origin is curiosity and the purpose is to learn. Learning seems to have entertainment value to me because I normally feel better after having learned something. An increase in knowledge can sometimes reduce uncertainty, which can reduce stress and/or anxiety.

It is uncomfortable for me to watch others "playing the game" and for someone to use unfair or manipulative tactics in order to increase their status over others. I have been known to interfere to disrupt the process, or otherwise displace the person that had unjustly gained the higher status. I feel a need to level the playing field or often help the "underdog", but I do not intend to remain and compete within the structure.

These hierarchal structures are all conceptual and based on emotional impressions of individuals and on group dynamics, so they are not real. They are the framework for an entirely imaginary world that NTs have constructed to function within. Most of the ones I observe are based heavily on misconceptions, and lack any real logical support other than to support its own existence within imagination.

I was only under the impression to respect elders when I was a child; it was a child-adult thing, not an older than me thing. Anyways, I don't know why you're bringing this up, it is not relevant to her dualism, nor are you making any point I don't already know. Rather, it seems like no one is seeing things like this cite and this thread, for instance, as social interaction, and people purposefully posting to say 'yeah, that's not me', essentially making a group of themselves where other people respect them for who they are. This whole thread was started because someone wanted to share knowledge with other people. It might not be THE heirachy, whatever that ill-defined term is, but it is a surprisingly cohesive group that does all sorts of bonding against other social structures.

LMFAO

I suppose I want a higher social status in that I want to fit in more. The kids in my school and youth group are nice to me, but I don't feel like one of them. I don't have a group of people that I can joke around with and feel like I truly belong, or that know the real me. It's the curse of Asperger's, I guess.

The problem with social status is that it has to be maintained, it's competitive; once you have it, you have to try to keep it. Even if you are very successful, you still have to be mindful of conventions, its a never ending cycle.
Something that elevates a person today, will be forgotten about by next week. The social faux pas, just like bad news, is what people will emphasise through gossip.

...Hm .

Not so much strength in numbers to me and more of a case of being accepted for being me. Something I never was by those that raised me. Everybody always expected me to live up tot their expectation and I just did not have what it took and by the time I hit my teens I had stopped trying.
So when I ended up between the so called marginals of society I learnt more about friendship, social rules and life for what it really was than I ever could have done had I stayed in the protected environment I was raised in.

Only thing I'm bothered about now is that I have a willing ear to listen. Respect I'm more bothered in a social context, i.e. ignorant road users can really get to me or pompous pricks that jump queues.
If someone copies me I might change my ways or looks to redefine my individuality but that is more to do with my pathological need for autonomy

I find it ironic that many of the people who don't have high social status and claim to not care about it nevertheless understand it so thoroughly. Disdain requires oversimplification.

I hope that the people who would like to get higher social status (and it is some nice stuff to have) won't listen to the haters, and will find some like-minded people who have high social status to observe and emulate. Eccentric and highly-regarded college professors might be a good place to start looking.

Having lived in three countries there's a large cultural angle to it for me. If there is such a thing I would be a trans-cultural.
I grew up in Belgium. My parents bought Christmas toys in the UK, butter in The Netherlands and they would nip to France for a day at the market in Roubaix and every single trip I would get dragged along. For as alienated as I felt in my own country I felt a different person in neighbouring countries. My parents did their shopping and I would be told to meet them at a certain place at a certain time. I kept to the rules and had great times exploring the worlds they opened my eyes to.
I learnt that different cultures have different values long before I knew what culture was or even could spell the word and with it came the realisation that I was not weird. Just different.

Higher social status to me means to keep up appearances.
It means caring about things for the sake of them.
Following tradition and not doing things because they are just not the done thing
Or just doing things because they are the done thing.

I'm happy being a snob in my own little way albeit one whom never has had the pleasure in life to meet eccentric professors other than in passing

I'm only competitive towards myself. It's about bettering myself and living up to my own expectations.
Competition with others is outside of myself and the scope/limits of my personal growth are defined by others.

It can be useful information to have, even if you dont give a damn. At the very least, you can understand context a bit better when observing some situations when around others.

And other parts of it just seem logical; its the sort of thing that's not hard to figure out at all, if you've done at least SOME observation of people in a general sense.

.....but none of that means that they have to actually CARE in the slightest.