The Battlefield-Psychology of Everyday Life

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Cryos, yes, I don't think you are negative person at all, it just shows that you are highly observing, highly sensitive and have a high social conscience. There are autistics with hyper and hypo-sensitivity. Being hyper, we see and feel the world that others don't, and also because we have such a built-in sense of justice and fairness that NTs lack, we are destined to suffer from their raw, seemingly cruel primate strong instincts which are hierarchy of power, manipulation, exploitation, fighting for scarce resources.

It's true, controlling it isnt just about attitude and such. But it's more than you might think.

Like I said, my appearance isnt normal at all (and no, I'm not going to explain how; that's my own business, thanks). Yet, I can still do this. Oh, I'll get the occaisional jerk that has to make some damn stupid insulting observation, but that only happens every now and then, and only gets a stare of pure disdain out of me.

Many people are more accommodating and pleasant than you might expect. But you have to actually TRY, or nothing will happen. It's impossible to get what you want if you dont even make the effort and instead just make assumptions and take your anger everywhere you go. Doesnt work.

Though I do notice that it can sometimes also depend on location; people in a big city are more likely to be asshats when at their job. Though.... having seen what that can be like, I dont blame them in the slightest. Were I stuck in that situation, I'd be really damn unpleasant all the time too. Even then though, it depends very strongly on the individual.

I agree with Misery, and others, who have said that one has to consider what THEIR part was, in any given situation, that caused that situation to be bad----if we DON'T consider it, chances are, then, that they'll never get better.

I DO understand, OP, what you're saying----but, I, TOO, have conducted my OWN experiment, where I entered an establishment with a "the world sucks----I hate people" attitude, and people were not nice, BACK! Conversely, I've entered establishments, with an "I LOVE life----everything is beautiful" attitude, and people just smiled / talked all over me!!

Bottom Line: You GET, wha'cha GIVE!! (Generally speaking, of course----it's not 100 percent guaranteed!)

@Misery: Excellent post----EXCELLENT!!

It's important to note that sometime it's not even about what your, yourself, are presenting. But about the other person's bad mood, negative outlook, set of personal resentments, they hate their job and everyone tey then come into contact with, or they have a chip on their shoulder about anyone who looks like you or something they think you are, mistaken or not.

Believe it or not, folks, you can have all the positive, sunny attitude you want, smile and be friendly, be well dressed, look like you are clean and smart and successful --- and still walk up to a particular check out person or store clerk and be given sh!t by them. Because of THEIR deal.

Not everything in life, and not everyone's reaction to YOU, is a one way street depending merely on what YOU are doing or saying or looking like.

Other people have their own stuff going on that might cause them to be an asshat to you just for THEIR own bigotry, bad mood, bad outlook, resentments, etc.

All the people saying it's only to do with whether one's own self presents a "get what you give" thing to world are forgetting other people put their spin on things too, and it's not always down to you alone what reaction you get from someone who is determined to hate you anyway.

I'm sorry but "You get what you give" doesn't actually work as simplistically as people love to believe. This world is sadly a bit more complicated than that. Because of the element of THE OTHER PERSON'S issues, not just what you're putting out there.

Random example, even a pretty woman, dressed well, walking up to the librarian with a genuine smile and a humble attitude, might get given a sh!tty response because for all you know, that librarian resents pretty people, is having a bad day, is jealous, and WANTS to make the happy, pretty person feel like sh!t even in the smallest way the librarian might be capable of.

Not everything in OTHER people's reactions is a fault of anything YOU did. Talk about blame the victim....

^^ I agree----that's why I used the terms "generally speaking", and "not guaranteed".

I still feel that you increase your chances of people treating you nicely, if you put some effort into it.

Yes, I agree, one has to make an effort with individuals instead of eggspecting that others will behave a certain way towards you, the way you want or how you see them behave towards others but not you.
I wrote individuals because it is better to interact on person-by-person basis, treat each person as individual, instead of grouping together lots of people (e.g. NTs on wp) as bad, stupid, evil, rotten, inferior, etc.

It is group dynamics, or system intelligences, that create the environment of us (as individuals) against them (as a group).

This is what makes it a battlefield.

If things really could be reduced down to individual-on-individual interactions, then the situation would not be so difficult or oppressive.

The goal of the group is to crush, destroy, invalidate, or marginalize the will of the individual.
Truly individual behaviors represent a threat to, and are a detriment to the group as a whole.