Your first impressions of people

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Intuition lets me know most of the time. That vibe thing someone else was talking about. It's all I have since inflection from another is somewhat absent. Not to stereotype, but other clues are available -- like what kind of car do they drive? Who are their friends? Do they have pets? Just call it a way to label a spectrum. What’s your spectrum?

I don't always present a good first impression. Though I have been told once that when one gets to know me, they fall in love with me. Do you suppose my bride is bias?

I dunno. Sometimes I'm right, and sometimes I'm wrong.

People almost always have negative (but hopefully inaccurate) first impressions of me, though. Even my husband says I was cold and rude when we first met. He says he knows now that I'm just a space case, and I was probably just shy and distracted.

He's always telling me that he has to cover for me when I'm rude to people- especially store clerks. Shopping gives me meltdowns and I end up completely ignoring cashiers I don't even look at them or answer them when they ask me direct questions.

When people come up to me and start talking, I ignore them.

I would say usually my first impressions are correct, I suss people intuitively. But, in one or two cases my first impression view has been wrong. I really disliked a close female friend when we first met so now I try and stay open to the possibility that my first impressions about someone could be wrong.

I can usually get a feeling about someone, I can tell if they are warm or not. I find I am far too critical of people and negative. Sometimes my first impression is correct others way out.

oh geeze..i come into contact with so many people (because I help run a venue) that it is hard for me to even get a first impression...though I do sorta understand their importance...I notice how the first impression I give a certain group of people (like a band..bacause I am always dealing with bands)..will affect the way I interract with them through the course of their stay at my place...i will either(kinda sorta) befriend them if I go out of my way to introduce myself...or unsettle them if I forget to do that...or don't feel like it.

Pretty good, I think.

Sometime in my childhood I began to believe that all people I met were nice. It was easier than thinking about it. And yes, it led to some nasty surprises, but for the most part it didn't!

Yep!! My poor husband has been in so many embarrassing situations with me in stores and restaurants. He'd get so irritated with me for years, but now that he understands AS more he just thinks it's funny! I have misunderstandings with salesclerks and waitstaff several times a week, and I always feel horrible because I know I give the wrong impression of myself and my intentions. Yesterday I was waiting to be seated in a restaurant, and the manager was chewing an employee out right in front of me, really being rude to him right where other people could hear. That made me furious, so I cleared my throat loudly and glared at her. She jumped and put on a fake smile and couldn't have been nicer to me, and I later realized it was because she thought I was angry that I was being ignored! Her fake smile only made me more annoyed, so my frown turned to a smirk, and so there you go...I was angry that she was disrespectful to her employee (whom I identified with, because I was always making mistakes at work), and yet she thought I was angry because I was in a hurry to be seated. What a joke, but then that's the way communication goes for me out in public.

Leave it to a hometown guy like you to give me some advice on this!

First impressions are very hit and miss. I find my opinion changes of people very rapidly, so I can't go by how I feel about them at first.

I started from, be nice to everyone. That invites bullies. People who seem, would not defend themselves, become targets. It is an NT social thing, they are probing when they chatter away, where is the line with this person, and being polite leads them to feel they are superior, next they demand you go wash their car, just to see if they can get away with it.

They will have you out picking cotton if they can.

I switched to a biker image and they automatically changed to not annoying me. Then they told others I must be evil and the police should be informed. The back stabbing little twits.

When meeting a social superior, me in an Armani, they become submissive.

Mostly I just tell them, let's butt foreheads and see who drops first. No one has taken me up on it, and they take a live and let live attitude.

In packs, one will challenge from the front, as another tries to hit you from behind. The one in front is the weakest, turn and charge the one's behind, and they will scatter.

I always try to leave things on a positive note. "If I ever see you again I will know you are coming to kill me, and I will get you first." It is good to let people know where they stand.

When a human comes up, smiling, being friendly, they are running a con game. It is a fake social acceptance, no one likes anyone, and me least of all. If I get invited to go somewhere, they want to know where I am, while the rest of the team robs my house, sells me insurance, or tries to get me to join their church. Con Games work on trust, I do not have any.

When a person is put off by me, sees me as cold, unfeeling, angry, and responds, I take a liking to them. It is as close to honest as I know. They percieved me, and dealt with it. Now we have something to work with.
If I am going to deal with them, it is not hard to say, I may seem cold, unfeeling, angry, but that is because I am. It has nothing to do with you, just think of me as a Pit Bull that likes you.

When something that could eat you accepts you into the pack, that is good. Approval from management.

I am seen as evil, so I take a smoke break in the parking lot just before the other workers leave, I ignore them as they get in their cars. I am the worst evil in the parking lot, will put up with no other, and evil is good when it is on your side at night in a parking lot.

I may have no social skills, but when the paper roll jams in the calculator, they become unglued, I drop what I am doing and fix it. I cannot support them socially, but for machines, security, I have my uses. Sixty years, and now I think my first impressions are right on. So are my reactions.

To most of the world, you will not get away with anything here, and if you try, you will get hurt.

To those who stand their ground, deal with me anyhow, I soften quickly. It is what other animals do, if it does not attack or flee, it might be worth knowing. I am an Alpha, you are a threat, or you are not. That which is not a danger is accepted and protected. Life is simple.

"Treat them like people,
they act like dogs,
treat them like dogs,
they act like well behaved dogs."

That's rather a jaded POV, Inventor. I can't share that because I've not allowed myself to be conned. I trust the vibes and run everything through the logicalizer and cons come out as being false in logic. Cons never appeal to logic, but to emotions, hopes, and wishes. It costs nothing to be polite and you won't draw negative attention to yourself. it takes very little effort to run the polite script. Perhaps that is more a woman's POV.

I don't react quite like inventor, but my social history has been appratly about the same. I used to be NICE to everyone, and altruistic.

Apparently, those are ALSO AS symptoms. 8-( Anyway, I got sick and tired of the treatment, etc... and so now I act like a middle of the road NT in most respects here. Tolerant and a BIT optimistic, but not too friendly or trusting. If they do right by me, I'll do better by them. If they do poorly by me, I may shun them, or worse.

BTW My first impressions of people are often right. Even when someone throws me a curve, like the bully that bullied me several times in highschool, but acted nice in college, or the coworker that was highly acerbic and insulting and came to my aid when I needed someone, I will always have a doubt. There are also ones like the guy that acted like my friend, but tried to steal my money, job, and reputation! I DID have HIM pegged though. I thought from the start that he was a CONMAN!

Steve

They've gotten a lot more accurate. I can often times as well spot people out who I'd get along with pretty well and even when I meet someone who I feel like I'd be fundamentally at odds with I've gotten pretty good at pulling the right angles and smoothing things over.