Is it usual/possible for a person to become a temp fixation?

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I must tell you that you have a most wonderful catatar, OP.

Thank you, fellow feline. I put the exact dimensions in for the avatar to Google search and up it popped.




I know it's a bit weird but I feel sorry for the younger you.

I has a best friend from nursery up to when I had to move primaries when I was 8 and looking back, she was my whole world in terms of social life. I mean, sometimes I'd play tag with the boys (as I was actually obsessed with one and would chase him around ) but I'd always come back to her. Saw her around in high school from time to time. Just like the other girls I mentioned, I thought she was beautiful. She would say hello and I'd murmur back awkwardly and not follow up - I knew she hung with some of the pretty violent popular girls who hated my guts and that the best I could expect would be a kind pushing away. In the end I was too afraid and too awkward. If I were somebody else, maybe we'd have reconnected. She never judged me as a kid and I never got the idea that she judged me as a teen. She usually took the time to say hello and her smile seemed warm.

Maybe she was being polite but maybe she was looking for me to bring the next part to the conversation. I don't know. I was/am a goth and she was just general wear. Could it have been that she thought I wasn't interested in chatting? Since I could never reply right, probably. It actually makes me feel quite crappy even a decade later.




At that age I spoke at people and was apparently a bit "bossy". My recognition of how people reacted to me and how odd I was didn't kick in until I moved primaries. I think it was because we all knew each other since we were about three. That school seemed to stay close-knit until they all moved up to high school.

As I said, my best friend was the important one to me. If there was anything really special or weird, I think I told her. I can't remember wanting to keep anything back from her and she always seemed so insanely relaxed.

Usually my make believe didn't involve the others. I might have thought the boy I chased secretly liked me but I would more often go to where the trees were on my own, make a pretend hunter's fireplace, become confused with how to continue the story, so wound up either hugging trees, looking at ladybugs, or playing with doherty leaves.

I can so relate to this. In the past I was the same. I just thought I was a real loyal person...

Is it always a crush type fixation. There are a couple of people at work that I sort of fixate about but it is because they represent something I can not tolerate. One is a serial cheat who destroyed his best friends marriage and screwed half of the women at one of our work sites. I had to work for him and he tool credit for everyones work. I can't help bringing his name up at all sorts of times and I think a lot of people probably think I am masking some sort of crush but I am not I really don't like him. I fixate because they are not pleasant but seem to be viewed with higher esteem than me in some circles which I find unfair - maybe its some sort of jealously.

Crushes though I think I over fixate on those as well and I have never grown out of it - changing routes to hope to bump into them. Constantly filling my mind - going to pieces when thy are around - really childish

I've been agoraphobic and mostly housebound for quite a few years now. It's a little harder to pinpoint fixations outside of crushes as I remember them more but I do have this feeling of perhaps being a little too curious about people.

I think that, for me, the whole idea of love became an obsession which now is calming down. I will get worried and fixate on an ex, like I have been, but I won't seem to always be on the radar. I was seeking somebody to trust and talk to. Since I find it hard to feel a proper solid bond in mere friendship, perhaps that's when I was younger I would "fall in love" with everybody. I had friends tell me off for it, saying I was obsessed (duh), and it was always on my mind. Without knowing what might be different about me I figured somebody else would help.

So there were lots of people I would be attempting to sit near and such. I wouldn't do any internet stalking (although I know it can be hard for people not to) because I personally felt like it was invading their space. Apparently always trying to position myself beside them wasn't the same in my head.


Romance was dead in my house as a child and I had nothing to base it on except for my adult fantasy novels. I think they gave me odd ideas. Even the young adult fantasies could be quite "bad" for it.


I'd say I would fixate more on fictional characters then real people. That's awkward. You can look up anything extra the author has said but in the end, you can't talk to those people. The best you can do is imagine from what you already know.


I can tell you of groups of people I fixate on rather than individuals though: serial killers, cannibals, cult leaders and followers, sociopaths, certain other personality disordered individuals, and people with dissociative identity disorder (though this last one has waned in recent years).

With serial killers, I remember the stories of the crimes but forget real names and usually any numbers involved, be it dates or number of victims. Numbers just won't settle in my mind, making me a tiny bit suspicious of a math-related learning difficulty. Anyway, you can sometimes find me spending 2 weeks only watching youtube documentaries and reading websites about killers and, usually intersected with that, people with AsPD. My Google History must look terrifying. I'll also sadly try to find the most horrifying and hideous descriptions, images, whatever, and interviews before executions. Ted Bundy's is interesting.

Two of my current "favourites" are "The Chessboard Killer" (Alexander Pichushkin) who was seemingly trying to compete with an earlier Russian killer, "The Red Murderer" (Andrei Chikatilo).

Part of me is concerned that one day I will become fascinated by somebody who displays clear signs and I'll... go too far trying to get to know them. A silly thing to be concerned about. Probably.


Cannibals usually are wrapped up in the murders but here's a one-time kill and eat: "The Cannibal Celebrity" (Issei Sagawa). His story is quite bizarre and he is clearly not a well man. He was deported from the country it happened to and Japan would not keep him in a secure hospital, apparently stating that he had a personality disorder and was therefore sane, thus not needing to be in the hospital. Instead of jail, they let him free and people instantly seized on this strange man and pretty much took advantage of a murderer who was clearly not really all there. What he did was terrible, that's true. Do I think that he was in his "right mind"? I don't think Sagawa ever had a "right mind". I can't see him as evil, partly because good/evil is nonsense, but also because reading into him will show how distorted his reality is.

If anybody is interested, here is a Vice interview with him from recently, as he faces eviction now that interest has dried up. I need to check on where he is now - a man such as Sagawa becoming homeless is a dangerous prospect.