I know that NTs don't struggle as much as some of you here, many of us do have trouble saying what we really mean, or worrying that it didn't come across the way we wanted it to, or wondering "why did I say that in the first place?" or "why didn't I speak up?" We might thing to ourselves, "Wow, I must have sounded like a total idiot!" Even though I'm relatively eloquent, have a strong vocabulary, and want to communicate well, I still have to fight a tendency to hyper-analyze at times and resist the urge to scold myself. I think it's made worse by the perfectionist in me and the teacher, both of whom want to be right, accurate, well understood, and occasionally a mind-changer.
I'd like to know how I can work better with, for example, a current co-worker who I suspect may have a lot of trouble saying what he really means. He comes across as shy/private, thoughtful, flexible, and generally easy-going--but especially after reading this thread, I have to wonder if he's struggling the way some of you are. He frequently responds to things with a slow, serene, quiet "OK" or "Wow, OK," or "Hmm."
Naturally, I could ask him, but I know he's sensitive about his Asperger's and I don't want to intrude. Even if I did, and even if I preceded it with "could I ask a personal question?" how might I interpret his answer? Yes, everyone's different, and yes, no one here actually knows him, but I trust that at least some of you might have a clearer perspective than other people elsewhere!
I want to respect his abilities and choices instead of assuming he's communication-impaired, and I don't want to put more stress into his life when he's juggling both career development with us and job searches overseas, but I'd still appreciate any insight I might get.
27 Sep 2015, 8:30 am
