Same child, different perspectives of his issues

Post Reply New Topic

I would go for the positive one but with more detail for eg what things he finds comforting. I think it is difficult for clinicians because the diagnostic criteria is very negative - ASD being classed as a disorder and the triad of impairments. My son's report did contain things like 'has difficulty with' etc but they also mentioned his strengths so it doesn't read too negatively. I do think the type of language you use can have a continued negative effect. I would imagine the assumptions made about a child by a teacher before they had met them would be very different depending on whether they got the negative or the positive report. I always try to discuss my son in a positive way and have pulled a teacher on speaking about my son in front of him in an unnecessarily negative way. I think constantly hearing about what you find hard or are less good at is likely to be bad for self esteem.

This is my opinion as a teacher. It may be unpopular. It's very early in the morning, so I also apologize if it seems harsh.

As a teacher, I would prefer the first paragraph. "Impairments" is more clear than "differences." "Repetitive and restrictive" behaviors is more clear than "behaviors that are comfortable." Part of the problem is that it would be hard to know when a behavior a child was engaging in was related to ASD or not. If a kid is doing something "repetitive and restrictive", makes sense. If you leave it at "comfortable", then what recourse does the teacher have to correct *anything*. "Comfortable" comes across as giving the kid free pass to do whatever he wants because whatever he does is comfortable. "Repetitive and restrictive" gives a distinction between ASD-related behavior and just plain-old bad/defiant behavior.

The specific details of impaired social interaction are also helpful. If you just say "he prefers such-and-such", that makes it seem more like he just won't do what he doesn't "like." Now, maybe that is true. But, I am afraid that paragraph 2 runs the risk of making the kid look like a spoiled brat who is accustomed to always getting his way than a kid with ASD who needs some adaptations to his environment. Also, if I was not as familiar with ASD as I am, I would wonder what a "sensory-friendly environment" is.

If I didn't know a kid had ASD and a parent just gave me paragraph 2, I'd think, "Well, *excuse* me!" Paragraph 2 sounds more like a demand from a snobby parent. Paragraph 1 explains that there is a problem; paragraph 2 sounds only like "this is how I want you to treat me child, and I expect you to comply." I'd be concerned that without sufficient knowledge, the teacher would resent the kid who "needs" the "kid glove care" without explanation, and would see problems as being related to character issues or bad parenting rather than ASD. The teacher deserves FULL disclosure because the parent is asking for her child to get special treatment.

I wish that all my parents of kids with various issues would tell me. Some have, and it helps tremendously. I have problems with a few other kids, and I wish the parents would get their child tested! But, since I know of no problem, all I can think about those children is that they are brats. They are extremely disruptive for no known reason. They get harsher discipline from me because I am trying to curb out of control behavior (and may not be addressing it correctly since I don't know what is causing the problem.) I don't even like being in the same room with them.

Perhaps the first paragraph combined with a second paragraph that gives a teacher ways to provide an environment that is more likely to help the child succeed would be better.

Have you told the parents this? Are you allowed to tell them?
When my son started kindergarten, we suspected that something was "off" about him, but we weren't sure. We waited to see whether anyone at his school would suggest testing, but no one ever did. After a few years, he started having a lot of behavior issues at school, and I finally requested an evaluation myself. I wish someone like you would have let me know that his problems weren't just in my mind.

They were both the same but different wording. Just two different perspectives, the first one looked like it was written in a medical way and the second looked like something a person would say outside the medical field. I wouldn't see the first one as negative because it speaks the truth. They are just saying the way it is. The second one comes off as sugarcoating and being in denial, aka political correctness. A doctor could look at the child and say they are not autistic due to the second part and what would that do for the child? A parent could also look at the second part and be offended because how dare they say those things about their kid in the first part and then just simply ignore the diagnoses and pretend it doesn't exist and that their kid is "normal." That doesn't really help the child when some parents live in denial.

I do believe it can be both ways like accept that there are impairments in their kid and accept the first part and also be positive about it and instead of mourning over your kid being different, look at it in another way from the second part. But you still don't deny their deficits. You look at what needs to be worked on and what their struggles are and work on that to make their life easier.

I think the second paragraph relies too much on the reader's ability to read between the lines.

I guess so, I reread it from a perspective of someone who knows nothing about ASDs so it looked like a normal child to me without any problems. I might think introvert, shy, quirky. Which is why it's damaging to sugarcoat the symptoms sometimes so we have to say it the medical way. But if someone knows about ASDs, then they might read between the lines so it would be obvious to them the kid is on the spectrum.

Thank you all for your replies, what an interesting spread of viewpoints.

The second piece is written by an ASD mother of an ASD child, to give to his teacher. (The website goes into this more).

Her child is young, under 10 though I can't immediately recall how old he is.

I'm guessing the mother was motivated to act as his advocate, hoping to protect him from being negatively stereotyped from the beginning by his teacher. That's what I took from the way she rewrote it from a strengths rather than deficit focused perspective.

It would be nice if people could get accommodated based upon the second paragraph.

I really don't like the emphasis on one's "impairment."

Alas, though, in any official diagnosis, the existence of an "impairment," which must be treated, must be emphasized--the bureaucrat reading this would deem this child not eligible for services.

Thank you for posting this thought-provoking piece. While clinicians are obliged to use clinical terms for the sake of professional clarity and to not flinch from the objective truth, - which, as KK rightly says, should entitle the person to vital support and funding - I think there is also a need for the approach taken by the mother in this example. Perhaps the psychologist's report could be accompanied by a 'shadow' report, prepared by a psychiatric nurse (for example), and expressed in a way that highlights strengths and potential. This could then be shown to teachers and carers who would not normally see, or necessarily understand, the psychologist's report.

There is a way to go on this.

How much more powerful and effective if instead of the second paragraph the child's mother had written from the heart about what she sees him needing help with from her own experience. Something like this maybe.

DS has difficulty playing and conversing with others. I understand, it was very hard for me to learn this too. I learned best through activities that had a purpose, and fought hard against looking at pictures and talking about what the picture person should do. I would like my son helped with learning to ask for things, really asking for things that matter to him, and learning he can use words to get what he wants. Another concern I have is that DS stops being able to focus or get work done when he is overwhelmed, as we all do. Noise bothers him and although I hope someday he will cope more easily, now it is a distraction and very frightening for him. He will be supervised for many years. I would like him escorted out of he school building before the fire alarm goes off until he can handle it. Etc.

I don't think sugar coating serves him or the mom, I think using her knowledge of her child and of autism to predict what will allow her child to be his best is the best thing she can do for him. And the school just might listen.

I think that's an honest and practical approach, Waterfalls.

It's what is termed "experiential" or "anecdotal," rather than clinical.

It doesn't emphasize "impairment." It emphasizes the need to be vigilant, and to encourage, at all times, alternatives to one's "impairment," while not denying the existence of the "impairment."