echoemotica

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This is the reason I don't understand the "lacks empathy" notion about autism, since I feel this intensely.

funny, for me being a teacher is the most natural thing there is, because i've seen them so much (as a child we spend so much time in classroom)
although i find it now very frustrating to be a student (i don't follow any classes and i'm at loss if i've got no one telling me what i should do, i always go study together with another student some days before the exams start, and then i'm ok) but i have to in order to get a diploma.
maybe i should read this Stephen Shore. I never read any aspiebiography actually, didn't know it excisted, sounds interesting.

I think it is the "shifting in and out" thing that is the crux of it. I think NTs feel an analogy of the emotion, whereas we feel the emotion itself very strongly which makes up appear sometimes to lack empathy when, in fact, we may be struggling with our own emotions. Sometimes, we also can't figure out the other person's state of mind so we get stuck and block it out.

I used to stew a lot. But taking anti-depressants for a few years seems to have cured that, mostly. I'll pick up on the good moods of people around me... but all it takes is one person nearby for me to leech a bad vibe off of, and that blows my whole night.

I would suggest ALL aspies reading the aspie authors:

Donna Williams
Stephen Shore
Temple Grandin
Jerry and Mary Newport

to start. I've also read just about every book on Asperger's Syndrome. When I was diagnosed, there were very few books specifically on AS and the first one I read by an academic was "Autism and Asperger's Syndrome" by Uta Frith and then "Autism: Explaining the Enigma" by the same author. It was Frith who translated Dr. Asperger's original paper.

If you are unfamiliar with "Theory of Mind" I would suggest Dr. Frith's books. ToM is a core concept in Asperger's Syndrome.

thanks, i'll now have to figure out how to get these books ... (i have never used any online payment and don't think that i'll find these books in belgium easily, i did look around in the bookstore in brussels a few time, maybe i should try an english bookshop, with a name of an author that might work out)

Lemon, I'm sure you could find them at Amazon and it is a safe way to buy. Perhaps Amazon in the UK? I'm not sure how Amazon works in Europe, but these are all in English. Frith is in England where the ground breaking work on Asperger's took place. Williams is from Australia and the rest of the aspie authors are Americans.

i'm sure it's safe, just never done it
(and even never seen someone doing it so that might take some time )

LOL. I suppose life existed before one-clicking and ebay.

I've done a lot of reading too, and love Donna Williams (she's autistic, not aspie btw) and Clara Parks who writes about her autisitic adult daughter, Jesse.

My favorite book because it made so much sense about how our senses can impact social relationships is:
Sensory Perceptual Issues in Autism and Asperger Syndrome : Different Sensory Experiences, Different Perceptual Worlds (eBook)
by Bogdashina, Olʹga.
Publication: London, New York Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2003.

There are a lot of ebooks available. Jessica Kingsley publishes a lot of spectrum stuff.

The Siege is one of the early books I read. I agree it was very good and gives a glimpse into the lower-functioning side of the spectrum. I admire both Clara and Jessie and I wonder what Jessie would have achieved had she had the kind of help that kids get today. And poor Clara was treated like a "Refrigerator Mother." Makes you sick.

I think the reason Jessie functions as well as she does is because she has such a fantastic mother. I was so jealous when I read the book, thinking I could have been higher-functioning if I had Clara as MY mom! Clara Parks is a great role model for parents, and Jessie is a great example of how early and effective intervention and boundless love can help.

Isn't this just called empathy?
It's what we're supposedly bad at . . .

I agree that having a good family life is very important and Clara Parks is an example of a fine mother. I was appalled at the lack of things like speech therapy that kids today that possibly could have made a difference in Jessie's life. The school system treated Jessie as a "throwaway." That pissed me off.

Love and acceptance is the most important thing, though.

The pros don't know everything. Some of us are better at it than others, and there are some, like those of us who posted in this thread, who have almost an overabundance of empathy.

Hmm hard one. My emotions are unfathomable to me. At times, through the day, I will stop and wonder what I am feeling, and usually there is no emotion I can define unless I am very angry, very depressed or very happy. I do not seem to have much else...oh, jealousy is another one I get aware of and boredom, but until they are extreme, I am not aware of them at all.

With regards to others, I tend not to feel anything for them unless I have experienced what they are experiencing. I have to think really hard to understand how they might feel at all... I cannot recreate an emotion like that. On occasion when I have got very involved in helping someone and am already down myself, I will find that I feel a lot, lot worse.

As to past...I need to have music on to allow me to feel emotions connected to my past...is that odd? It is just I have always used music to connect emotionally since a child. I can talk about my abuse etc, but unless i have sad music on as well, I will not feel a damn thing...it is like narrating someone else's story.

Is this normal lol? I do not even know what is NT, aspie etc... I only know that I need help to feel a lot of the time.