Feeling inadequate? Anyone?

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But there are other ways in which you're adequate--or perhaps even more than adequate.

I believe wholeheartedly in a holistic approach to people.

You would have made a cool Shaman during Cro-Magnon days!

I believe many people of autistic orientation served as artists/shamans in those days.

Well all of us who feel inadequate should hop in our time machines and travel back 10,000 years. The term Cro-Magnon refers to anatomically modern humans but I knew you were referring to time. Again an insensitive and unhelpful attempt at comfort

I am glad you are here and are finding posts you can relate to. That is great.
It's true how social thinkers are more concerned about your social place than about your abilities. If your social appearance does not match your ability it's hard for them to accept you. It makes working very difficult. I actually called a job situation that would be perfect for me but I am much more qualified to do the job than the staff they have. Rather than seeing that and using me as a consultant to meet the needs of their clients who can't succeed in their cookie cutter program, they won't hire me because I can't dumb my self down to fit into their program. So the clients whom I could help which they can't help won't have any other option. Does not make any logical sense to me.

Yeah - kraftiekortie - there you go, being inadequate again!

LOL!! Good one!

But seriously, folks ...

See if you can engage a counselor or psychologist to meet with you infrequently, but steadily, and act as a life coach (however they may want to describe it on their billings) ...

- to identify relevant goals
- to identify obstacles to those goals
- to encourage your activities in the direction of meeting the goals
- to cheer you on

You will be happiest if you can compare your progress to where you started from - and not to other people. It's like training for and running a marathon - don't expect to beat other runners who are in another class. Be glad you got out there and ran at all!

Yep, I agree with the above comments - I may be 'inadequate' by the standards of modern society, but I manage to find meaning, enjoyment, and accomplishments in life, in my own ways!

Social status is a deceptive measure of success, since many wealthy people completely miss the point of life, or what it means to be a decent human being.

Yep.....one does have to have perspective. I suck at many things. Am good at others.

I'm not going constantly ruminate about the things I suck at. I'm going to use my strengths to my advantage, maybe even whip making my weaknesses into my strengths.

I've learned: not everybody will agree with you, c'est la vie. I'd rather carpe diem than harpe diem.

I just wish I could make some money at the things I am good at.

Yeah...me too!

Thank you 'brains trust'.

I see, on reflection my life has been different from many fellow spectrum dwellers and NT's included.

I have not had opportunity to seek anything for myself because of the complexities of my life, I have been on my own since my daughter was 18mths (she is now 15) she had a very complex medical condition that required for me to give up work while on maternity leave, I had to Maintain her on a highly restricted diet and medications and ultimately she was tube fed before her first liver transplant at 2 1/2yrs which was a nightmare, normally it 5 weeks hospitalisation , my daughter stayed in for 8 months with complications agaist all odds she survived, one of my hardest days was watching her heart stop for 3 minutes and the CPR that followed.
For 7 years I watched her suffer with constant operations up to 28 medications daily until she received another liver transplant, for which I am forever grateful.

Over 15 years there has been 32 operations, countless hospital admissions and I have solely cared for her. I also have a son, both my children are on the spectrum and my daughter also has an intellectual disability. So on reflection I have accomplished a lot, even if it doesn't transmit to the NT world.

Thank you so much to everyone, your words have helped tremendously

Last edited by Justeve on 17 Nov 2015, 5:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

You are amazing Justeve. A hero in my book. Shows how powerful a mom's love is.

In light of what you've told us, how can you feel inadequate?

Sometimes... I know other people in my position just kind of brushed themselves off. Others did and are doing worse than I am.

I once knew two sisters and one of them commented on the differences in their personalities. One of them was very happy, stable, and overcame problems easily. The other one was very sensitive and struggled with growing up through the same things that didn't bother her sister at all. Point being, even given the same factors people can react to them and grow through them very differently. People can't be expected to grow the same.

I think failing is part of the process, though. If we didn't have setbacks, we wouldn't have "more to learn".

Everybody has a considerable amount of failure in their lives.

Even those who are "successful."

Like Malaise stated, it's the ability to learn from your failures, and to transcend initial failure, that makes one, ultimately, a success.