I attended college for about three years and changed my major many times. I got to point where I had realized that I had been burned out for a pretty long time and just wasn't smart enough to recognize the symptoms. I tried so VERY hard for so many years to keep myself in school. To make something of myself. To show the people who believed in me that they were right to put their trust in me.
But something I wasn't readily aware of is that i was suffering from Dyscalculia. It plagued me all during school (well, even now...) and college. Because of the advanced mathematics I would have to endure through, I quickly began to realize something was not right at all. My math skills wre atrociously awful. I was really lacking in math skills. By the time I relaized I had a very evident problem with math skills, I asked the guidance department if I could be tested for a learning defiencies in math skills. Everyone just kind of looked around to each other quizzically. And it was said that basically my entrance exam was the only test they would ever perform as far as your math profecencies were concerned. They said that I could take the test again on an unofficial basis if I wanted to get my jollies off. You know, for the hell of it. And I asked them (which was the defining moment for me): "And if it turns out I do have a learning disability in math, what then?" And the people I was talking to just looked at each other again in a queer way, shrugged and didn't answer. Not a one of them. They didn't know what to say.
It was then I realized I no longer belonged in higher education. I was going to keep educating myself. I could never quench the insatiable thirst for knowledge. College wasn't the last place to educate myself. I'd never be able to get a high payting job in a specialized field any more. But that option was no longer open to me. I have always suffered from Dyscalculia and it has kicked my ass every day of my life.
So yeah. I did 3 years of college and before that I did two years of Graphic Arts school too. So I did a total of 5 years worth of higher education before I realized I was spent.
15 Apr 2007, 10:01 pm
