The Autistic Generation Gap

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I was talking to my dad a few months ago to ask his impression of me as a child when we went to people's houses and such. His words:
"You wre always a happy child. You would always sit with us quiet and content."
I asked if there other kids around.
"Oh yeah, they would be out playing and stuff, but you'd just come and sit next to me and your Mom and be happy as could be."

So, the parents were clueless for the most part.

When I was growing up, if we had "company," my brother and I would be called from our room, introduced to the "company," then told to get back into our room.

And we had to be quiet in our rooms. Seen, and not heard!

If you were in your room, wouldn't that be 'unseen and not heard?'

or, how about glimpsed and not heard?

LOL...we were called from our room to meet the "company" in person.

I've always been puzzled by the assumption that anyone over a certain age who identifies as being on the spectrum, thinks he or she is being 'cool'. I listen a lot to BBC Radio 5 in the mornings, and some of the producers seem to think autism is a trendy subject to discuss, judging from the number of times it features in their discussion and phone-in programmes. However, at least 90% of the time, the presenters are only interested in cases involving the under 18s, which I think is probably significant. Even now, many of the references in the British media to autism in adults, particularly those in middle-age or older, focus on maladjustment, ineptitude and even criminality.

I crashed and burned out of my "respectable" job in one of the "professions" at the age of 43. Thereafter I spent my days sitting in libraries, riding around on buses, sitting at home watching films or playing computer games, and for several years drinking myself into oblivion. I realized I was quite happy doing such things, and had very little interest in returning to the middle class environment in which I had spent the previous 25 years, with all its social and cultural assumptions, ideas about career progression, status and the like, none of which I had ever really been able to relate to. I'm not ashamed of any of this, but I don't see anything "cool" about it.

"Normal" people of my age and background clearly don't live or think like this, but I suspect I'd be unable to get any sort of AS diagnosis, as I'm not interested in interacting with people (except online) and can support myself independently, and therefore do not 'need' one (as Mr Baron-Cohen would put it).

Not often, but a few times we were trotted out the same way. All dressed up. I kinda resented all that because they would starch up the clothes, and smear the hair full of brill cream (Natural shine my ass) or worse, they would get mom's Dippity Doo. That stuff would harden like a nuclear shield. They had to really plaster down my hair too because they would comb it against the natural direction and I have that weird double whorl in my crown. Delights my wife though. Apparently to the Chinese it signifies mischief. They got that right......

Oh god- sounds like my parents... My parents were hideously clueless- I look back and think- what in god's name did you think was going on? Like kraftie I was thought to have brain damage... my pediatrician was in his 50's or something when I was 2/3 yrs old and they were looking at "that autism idea" and called it BS and said only "really f****d up kids were autistic" and basically shut out all possible ideas of that diagnosis until well about a year ago. (also oh yes only boys had autism- so there's that.......)
I am not of the same generation you are, but my parent's are older than you and so I grew up with a very VERY 1950's type upbringing,because that's what they preferred. I typed a lot of my school assignments out on type-writers and listened to records because Tapes/CD/DVDs/downloading music were "terrible" according to my parents- oh and the internet is "just a fad" of course as were cellphones and the ipod and stereo-systems were also fads.... . Then they basically just ignored all problems I had in school as long as I didn't fail the year, or maim myself or die. Yep stellar parenting at its finest.
I remember hah getting pulled into the principal's office because they literally said I was so developmentally disturbed (and they didn't know why) that they wanted me to be evaluated by a state child psychologist and psychotherapist. I loved animals as a kid and I had NO IDEA why I was there; I was just happy to be out of class, and they asked me to draw things so I drew pictures (really bad pictures) of cats and dogs playing in a park, and I remember asking them "what colors do you want me to use? Is it okay if I add some grass to the picture? What else am I supposed to be doing? Are we done yet?" Then I apologized for drawing ugly pictures and claimed to be bad at drawing. Makes me laugh now thinking back on it.....
My dad is autistic-in-denial and I suspect his father is too, and well they are just a clusterf**k of denial and repressed feelings and anger and unhappiness
And they get VERY angry when they don't understand the NT world and lash out in anger and hurt others... I understand them, but don't like what they were driven to become....

Thank you O.P. So nice to read this thread. I couldn't understand the "diagnosis" issue.
Can so relate to so many posts about growing up 50 years ago.
I didn't speak until about 3 1\2 and I started with complete sentences. I remember walking in and speaking to my family and being frightened and suprised by their reaction to my speaking.
My mother sat me down when I was about 5 or so and basically told me I was "ret*d" though we don't call mental disabilities that now. I graduated high school cum laude and valedictorian, then graduated from Johns Hopkins. Since the time that I gained a consciousness, I have been studying other people to try and learn how to be human. My daughter calls it my "third personing" because she noticed how I study other people.
As for growing up...
My sister and I were the slaves of the family. Rarely got any allowance nor even all our basic needs met and this was not from poverty. She had it better than I did as she was my father's favorite and I was the unwanted child by both parents and grandparents. This was repeatedly said to me and everyone. There was no such thing as child abuse - you were your parents property. My father was usually kind to me but he was a bit creepy too. If I hadn't had him I would probably wouldn't have survived that childhood. Similar to Birdinflight, we were locked outside and let in for meals. I spent a lot of time on the roof, climbing 50 foot tall redwoods, walking through creekbeds, and wandering the neighborhood. In elementary school, we often walked several miles to the city if we had any money. Some parents didn't consider what might happen to their kids. All the same things were happening then as now but nobody talked about it.

That was for yer own good you whippersnapper!! Vinyl RULES!! WOO HOO!! !

Goofball hat off now....LOL

But, I really do prefer the sound of vinyl. I can't detect any superiority in sound. My hearing isn't that precise. But it's a bit of a time trip to hear the pops and clicks of my youth.

Edit: Unlike you and Kraftie, I was slightly ahead verbally and it grew quickly. That really should have been the tip off that something was not right. Most kids do not prefer the company of adults. Especially kids that show no intellectual difficulties. And it was a bit of a source of pride for them that I always talked like a little adult and not like other kids.

What I find really cool about that is that reading the comments from both of you, as well as some other members', I would not know the difficulties you dealt with.

You are fully human. Do not even think otherwise. It is starting to be known that a lot of autistic females "copy". You have EARNED some impressive accomplishments. Now I advise you to put all the effort you have been putting into copying into fnding out who the real Autistic you is. We are getting up in age and things can happen. You have been burying your autistic self way to long. Time to meet her. You have more then EARNED this.

NO NO NO. I have heard some classmates (who are high functioning) talking about a few people on social media coming off as fakes or wannabes. These are people who have their own Tumblr for example who showcase themselves. There are fake and wannabe everything on social media.

And that it is sometimes misdiagnosed. Not often sometimes.

Some not most.

Sometimes not often.

Do you spend a lot of time on Tumblr viewing personal sites of high school and college age people? No? Did not think so. That is where there is a genoration gap.

Why is it that adults in their 50's keep translating me saying some equals most?

How a subset a minority of mostly younger people on social media they don't even know exists, becomes them and a significant number?

I would really like that explained to me.

Last edited by EzraS on 12 Feb 2016, 1:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

can we let this topic die already...?

Apparently not. Because some people in their 50's can't seem to get a grip.

It is becoming an absolutely bizarre phenomenon.

I feel like I am about to have a f*****g NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!

f*****g STOP ALREADY

I AM SORRY!! !! !! !

STOP!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

It really is not a bizarre phenomenon. I have seen this topic several times and this sentiment many times. You seem to be impatient with people who respond to these things. Whether you said it or someone else, it has been mentioned a lot. And, I'm new to this.

And, you seem to be not really understanding what the 'people in their 50's' are saying. You seem to forget that for many of this is new and it does sting to hear someone say that it's 'an explosion' and 'over diagnosed'. Expecially when people our age are just really ignored.

When you even have professionals giving you short shrift because "You've obviously adapted, what's the point."

So, whether you like it or not, it has obviously affected people and blaming it on 'people in their 50's needing to get a grip' is avoiding the above stated. Especially when the OP specifically said it was not about you.

I physically cant even read these replies anymore. i regret ever saying anything in the first place.

I understand when my words are purposely taken out of context over and over again.

That makes it about me. That is what I am ready to seriously meltdown over!

EZRA SAID MOST OF US ARE FAKES!! ! HIM AND HIS CLASSMATES SAY MOST OF US ARE FAKES!! !

How can I possibly forget something I have been beaten to death with?! !!

And then I get told how I am "having a pity party" and "playing the pity game"

What is it going to take? What do I have to do? WHAT?! !! !