Is it rude to PM members without prior permission

Post Reply New Topic

I really have no idea. But I'm not going to take offense at getting a PM from anyone, as long as the content of the PM is respectful. And not spam.

I have actually done that. I've actually asked people, in a thread, permission to PM them.

And if I feel the desire to PM somebody, I almost always say something like "If you don't mind...."

I will PM someone unsolicited. But, if I get no response, I will not pursue.

I've received unsolicited PMs and they were all helpful.

To my mind, the main reason why you would PM someone without permission is to save them some embarrassment - or to share something that would be too embarrassing to yourself, so you wouldn't share it at all. Embarrassing might be the wrong word. There are things I don't want to share publicly, not because they embarrass me but because it could be unwise disclosure.

I think a bad reason for a PM is to hit on someone and not have to feel stupid when they reject you. If there is any of that going on here, I'm oblivious to it, which is fine with me. I imagine there are things going on in Love & Dating and in Adults Only section, that I don't have a need or desire to know about.

I did have someone whose username I didn't recognize PM me once, here, saying they wanted to challenge me on some post of mine or another. I believe the user mentioned religion, maybe Christianity in particular. I thought that was a little rude.

I replied, but as I'd been away from Wrong Planet for a while, the person didn't remember what s/he wanted to argue about.

Anyway I would say that if you sent a PM telling someone that the post you're PM'ing about was something you wanted to argue about or call them out on, that might be a bit rude. But just to say hi I like your posts let's talk one-on-one, I don't think that's rude. Other people might think it's too forward though.

I would find it obnoxious if someone PMd me after disagreeing with something I said in a thread. The least a person can do is say hi.

It's a matter of basic respect, really.