I just got the "you can't possibly have autism" line

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League_Girl
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08 Mar 2016, 1:54 am

The person who sent you that PM sounds very ignorant about autism and too focused on the stereotypes. I bet that there are no autistic people online who have never been accused of faking it.


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zkydz
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08 Mar 2016, 2:08 am

Yigeren wrote:
I still don't get what it means to "sound autistic." I really don't.

That's because when I type, I don't use words like Ginny, box or chocolates.


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Jensen
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08 Mar 2016, 3:36 am

I suppose, he didn´t consider your level of intelligence, then.

Hmmm. I got the: "ASD - wow, that´s like Rainman isn´t it?---but you sound so NORMAL" - from a TRAINED SOCIAL WORKER! :?


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08 Mar 2016, 4:46 am

The power of stereotypes strikes again?

I mean seriously, that's why it takes so long for some of us to even get a diagnosis. "Oh, you don't fit this exact stereotype, so you CAN'T have autism!" Main reason I got my diagnosis so late is because my parents watched a documentary about Asperger Syndrome when I was young and assumed that because I didn't have the same anger management issues as the subject(s) it automatically meant I didn't have it. Even though practically everything else fit. I just happen to be very outwardly placid, almost like my emotions are out of reach sometimes and I cannot understand them enough for them to affect the world outside of my confused mind.


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08 Mar 2016, 5:23 am

I agree with other posters who say that as you get older then you understand more sarcasm, irony etc. I'm 59 and I get a lot of it but there are times when people are talking that I feel certain there is a secret message being passed that I am missing. The last time there were two people in such a conversation, one of whom seemed to be smirking, though I admit I got poor scores when tested for recognising facial expressions. In short, I think that we learn how to recognise things like sarcasm.
I also agree that there's no good reason why we shouldn't be good with written language. I have always felt that my clearest expressions are written.
Also, all Aspies are different. Of course we are! The whole idea that no Aspie can make eye contact, write clearly, speak to others is just too simple.



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08 Mar 2016, 8:34 am

Yeah. The vague feeling, that you´re missing a point - perhaps one aimed at yourself, is not a nice feeling. "My" social worker sounded so dumb, that I suspect, he was testing me.


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EggStirMeanAte
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08 Mar 2016, 9:13 am

I deal best with sarcasm, irony and general social interaction online because I have time to process everything. When I talk to people in person, I'm pretty good at using sarcasm (although I'm often accused of being sarcastic when I was trying to be literal), but if the conversation is moving at a fast pace or there's a lot of people involved it gets harder to keep up in real time.

I've also found that the older I get, the more coping mechanisms I develop. At this point in my life, people pretty much just see the coping mechanisms unless I'm really tired or really overstimulated and about to hit meltdown mode.



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08 Mar 2016, 9:29 am

We all can't POSSIBLY have autism---we're responding to each other in this thread!



zkydz
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08 Mar 2016, 9:35 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
We all can't POSSIBLY have autism---we're responding to each other in this thread!

amsdfkk nekmms msklijas ;kasd!! :wtg:


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08 Mar 2016, 10:24 am

Irony, sarcasm, and appreciation of the absurd were coping mechanisms for survival in my family of origin, a hotbed of mixed (and missed) diagnoses.


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08 Mar 2016, 11:01 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
We all can't POSSIBLY have autism---we're responding to each other in this thread!

Yeah, Wow,- and we can express our feelings. Jeez.


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ThomasL2
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08 Mar 2016, 12:12 pm

Yigeren wrote:
How can someone "seem NT" online? It's only text. There's no eye contact, facial expression, body language, tone of voice. There are just words on a page. A person can take as much time as needed to articulate what he or she wants to say. That isn't possible in real life.

On a forum we have time to process things, and figure out what people mean by their statements. We can practice writing things in a way that is clear, and appropriate for the thread. We can look at what we've written, and decide whether or not it "sounds" the way it was intended to.

With all of that, how can anyone tell if anyone else is autistic or not?


EXACTLY!



ThomasL2
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08 Mar 2016, 12:16 pm

Jensen wrote:
a TRAINED SOCIAL WORKER! :?


Haha - even cutting edge psychiatrists (MDs) are still mostly clueless about all of this - let alone lowly social workers!



zkydz
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08 Mar 2016, 12:28 pm

ThomasL2 wrote:
Jensen wrote:
a TRAINED SOCIAL WORKER! :?


Haha - even cutting edge psychiatrists (MDs) are still mostly clueless about all of this - let alone lowly social workers!
Don't put down social workers. I had a CSW who was the one person who put things together that nobody else did.

Knew I did not deal with change well. Kept me in their hospital system for 5 years past my eligibility because my program moved me out of their coverage area. 5 Years past that time I was supposed to be transferred. If you've ever dealt with the governmental health system, you know that woman moved mountains to get that accomplished.

Constantly badgered me about how forceful I am when talking to people. A constant, "Do you realize how you sound?"

Constantly badgered me about not understanding when complimented or picking up on social cues.

Constantly fought with me about my inability to move outside a set plan.

But, that was 1998-2004. You talk about people not knowing now or being educated, nobody knew nothing back then but a very few. But, she was putting it together by the time I did have to get transferred.

So, just gotta take up for the people who really did put me back together. It was not the doctors. It was the social workers and social worker therapists.


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08 Mar 2016, 1:04 pm

As a woman on the autistic spectrum, my diagnosis was delayed because of gender stereotypes - The Independent

Quote:
Friends, family and work colleagues have been quick to explain to me why my diagnosis is wrong, confused or somehow a manifestation of what I wanted.

Quote:
After I revealed my diagnosis, I heard from many women who experienced similar incredulity.

Quote:
There is no shame in any diagnosis. There is no burden of proof to be carried by anyone being diagnosed.


The author is the mother of British actress Lizzy Clark.


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Chickadeesingingonthewrongplanet
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08 Mar 2016, 1:08 pm

Thanks for posting the link to that article--a really timely and positive testimony.

(Meanwhile on the main UK radio news we've been hearing the phrase 'person with autism'/ or who 'has autism' for two days in a row. -- The campaign for awareness and acceptance is not reaching as far as it needs to yet....

I think the comment, though misguided, is actually intended to be a compliment.
And it creates a 'teachable moment'.

No matter how annoying or misinformed it is, it shows a person
trying to express goodwill.

Seems like those replies like 'just cause my autism seems mild to you doesn't mean it's mild to me'--actually, I hate the phrase 'my autism. But that sort of thing...



Last edited by Chickadeesingingonthewrongplanet on 08 Mar 2016, 1:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.