Does it take you will power to socialize with others?

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Many of us are introverts. That means we recharge by not socializing (vs recharge by socializing as extroverts do). So there's one negative that we learn to associate with socializing. Couple that with the inherent difficulties many of us have with socializing even on our best days when we are feeling somewhat extrovert-y, and it seems we might learn to avoid being social. It's draining & so it takes more motivation to make ourselves actually do so.

That's my guess, anyway.

Yes, it takes a lot of willpower to go out and be 'on' for other people. It's a serious problem that I have to fix.

I agree, Edenthiel. The vast majority of AS people do seem to be introverted (which seems to me more innate than a learned adaptation). Some AS people are extroverts, sometimes unfairly discounted as "inauthentic" because of this, when it is just another within-group AS variation.

Depends on who I am with and my mood

Also, I find it far easier to be in company when it's not all about the socialising. If that makes any sense. When we're doing something practical together or concentrating on something instead of just talking and talking in an open-ended way, that takes the pressure off somehow.

At one extreme: going to the cinema is easy because, though there's lots of people, we're not really interacting. A lot of my social life involves live music, where I'll be either listening to the music or playing myself, so it's OK not to spend the whole time talking to people. I also go to a Bookcrossing meeting- we all bring old books along to swap, and it seems to be acceptable to drift away from the conversation to look through the books for a while.

These are situations where I can spend three or four hours with some effort but without completely messing up my head. I no longer even try to go to anything called a "party," but eating out for a friend's birthday is manageable- I know there'll be food to concentrate on at regular intervals!

^
Absolutely! Having a practical role distracts me wonderfully from the awful self-consciousness of "pure" socialising. It gives me an excuse to talk to people, and I'm much less likely to get left out, because I have a purpose, they need me. And frankly I see working with people as a higher form of social interaction than just standing about exchanging cliches. There's a real satisfaction in being part of a collective effort to achieve a mutually-desired result, and a great sense of bonding, as long as nobody starts dominating. I guess that's one of the reasons I love being in a band.