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Do Your Parents Prefer You to be a Terrible Person?

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Did/do your parents prefer to believe that you are a terrible person rather than contemplate ASD?
Yes, continuing (I have received a diagnosis). 15%  15%  [ 4 ]
Rarely, but continuing (I have received a diagnosis). 19%  19%  [ 5 ]
Never (I have received a diagnosis). 41%  41%  [ 11 ]
Yes, continuing (I have not received a diagnosis). 7%  7%  [ 2 ]
Rarely, but continuing (I have not received a diagnosis). 4%  4%  [ 1 ]
Never (I have not received a diagnosis). 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes, but it changed when I received a diagnosis. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Rarely, but it changed when I received a diagnosis. 7%  7%  [ 2 ]
Yes, but it diminished over time with increased understanding. :D 7%  7%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 27

FandomConnection
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03 Oct 2016, 1:07 am

League_Girl wrote:
mikeman7918 wrote:
3 years ago my mom decided that my problems must be caused by my atitude, not my disabilities. It didn't help that this was a time when my anxiety was so bad that I could barely get myself to go to school and I myself didn't know much about my disabilities. It was very frustrating for me, I tried as hard as I could yet was told that I was being lazy and I didn't really know what was wrong with me. it was by far the worst few months of my life. Since then she has become more understanding and I have learned more as well, my anxiety has also gotten significantly better.


Ouch. I can sort of relate to that. I also have anxiety and it got pretty bad in my teens and it didn't help when my parents would get mad at me about it. It just made it worse for me. I don't think they realized I was getting more anxiety with them getting mad at me and invalidating my feelings. For a while I just figured it was because we were moving house and just were building it and my parents were under stress because moving is stressful for lot of people and they didn't have the mental energy to handle me.


I'm sorry to hear that. I get worried about having to engage in social situations. My mother tells me to stop being stupid, and that I just think I'm too good to talk to people. I hope your parents grew more understanding.


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03 Oct 2016, 1:14 am

at first i was afraid of including them in the diagnostic process, but in the end i did it on purpose because then they would have to choose between believing that i was born with a disorder or that my total lack of expressed affection was a sign that they were terrible people :D

my father himself has some stereotypical aspergers traits that i don't have. the psychiatrist himself said it. and if an authority figure said it, then it must be true :mrgreen:


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JakeASD
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03 Oct 2016, 2:57 am

Prior to my diagnosis, my parents always considered me to be passive and lazy. I am inclined to agree with their viewpoint.


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03 Oct 2016, 1:21 pm

My parents think my AS makes me seem like a freak, especially my special interests. My mum's the worse when it comes to those things.


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04 Oct 2016, 1:50 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
My parents think my AS makes me seem like a freak, especially my special interests. My mum's the worse when it comes to those things.


Does this make your parents angry that you have ASD, or do they not really mind that you 'seem like a freak'? Do they worry that it reflects badly on them? My mother would take it as an insult if I were to be diagnosed with ASD, and seems to care more about her reputation than my happiness in this respect.


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I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.


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04 Oct 2016, 11:08 am

My stepmom likes to think that, but not my dad. So I don't really know what to think.


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28 Oct 2016, 4:51 am

I suppose this thread also relates to my newer thread 'Denial: Effects and Responsibility of Parents'. Please select the appropriate description of your circumstances here. :D I am interested to see the data. :D


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I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.


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28 Oct 2016, 5:36 am

they did, for some years, it helped them 'save' their marriage i guess,
later they were sorry over that, but it stuck with my younger brothers, specially the older, sibblings rivalry héhé and good riddance to you!



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28 Oct 2016, 5:46 am

traven wrote:
they did, for some years, it helped them 'save' their marriage i guess,
later they were sorry over that, but it stuck with my younger brothers, specially the older, sibblings rivalry héhé and good riddance to you!


I suppose it does take some psychological burden and stress off parents if they allow themselves to pretend that the cause for one's behaviour is what they want it to be. Whether this is right or justifiable or not, though, I'm still not entirely certain.


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Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.


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28 Oct 2016, 6:41 pm

FandomConnection wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
My parents think my AS makes me seem like a freak, especially my special interests. My mum's the worse when it comes to those things.


Does this make your parents angry that you have ASD, or do they not really mind that you 'seem like a freak'? Do they worry that it reflects badly on them? My mother would take it as an insult if I were to be diagnosed with ASD, and seems to care more about her reputation than my happiness in this respect.


My mum's upset that I'm on the spectrum and every time I run into a crisis, her anger comes out towards me. She than dictates to me how to be myself and live my life. I took a 10 week break from my family this summer, because I couldn't take it anymore.


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28 Oct 2016, 6:52 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
FandomConnection wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
My parents think my AS makes me seem like a freak, especially my special interests. My mum's the worse when it comes to those things.


Does this make your parents angry that you have ASD, or do they not really mind that you 'seem like a freak'? Do they worry that it reflects badly on them? My mother would take it as an insult if I were to be diagnosed with ASD, and seems to care more about her reputation than my happiness in this respect.


My mum's upset that I'm on the spectrum and every time I run into a crisis, her anger comes out towards me. She than dictates to me how to be myself and live my life. I took a 10 week break from my family this summer, because I couldn't take it anymore.


I wish I could escape from my family! My mother says that I am arrogant and selfish to expect people to accept the way I am (lack of social skills etc.). Says it's not everybody's attitudes which are the problem, but me being different to the norm. :(


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Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.