Am I stupid?

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I see things in the $10 analogy. We ALL have $10 to spend. Some spread it out evenly and are pretty good at everything, my experiences with myself and other aspies is that we spent $8 in one particular area and leave 20c for social situations and the rest for other day to day interactions.

My point is no you are not stupid (and i have a real problem with that word in general as its a relative term), whats important is focusing on your strengths and following a path based on that. For me I wanted to do engineering, after starting i learned i just dont suck at math but no matter how much tutoring and explaining i had its totally illogical to me and it never sunk in, even though im aware its essentially a 100% logical subject. So i chose design and i love it. No question you're good at something or many things, and thus beings the process of self discovery lol. Just to re-iterate again we all suck at many things, thats not what is important, whats important is what we're good at. Focus on that instead... Even if you were told you have a well below average IQ you're still going to be good at something.

Well, that's why she said if they can help it, learn automatic transmission. If the circumstances are not right, then of course stick to manual.

I don't think you understand my point. The general rule with exceptional circumstances are the opposite.

Here: if you can, you learn manual, it's much more complicated to learn automatic, in general only learn automatic if you can't learn manual

Where you live: if you can, you learn automatic, it's much more complicated to learn manual, in general only learn manual if you can't learn automatic

I don't know what the case is for Sweden, I just know that the advice she gave does not apply worldwide from experience in a country where it's the complete opposite.

Anyway, it's not stupid to not be able to drive manual after only 3 lessons. It takes a lot of practising to get the hang of it.

What's wrong with getting the basics down before proceeding towards something more complicated (manual)?

It's the same principle as prerequisites in high school or university. You have to take the intro course before you proceed towards more specialized material.

I can't drive manual. The only thing good about manual is that replacing transmissions are cheaper, and that under manual, you are more the guiding force when you drive.

There are other benefits too:

- Manual transmission cars are usually cheaper
- You can push start a manual but not an automatic
- You have more control and better understand the vehicle with a manual transmission
- For me at least, the physical process of changing gears can prevent boredom and keep the driver focussed
- Automatic transmissions require computer control. As someone who writes software and knows how bad we as a society are at producing good quality software, I want as few computers controlling safety-critical things as possible.

I hope I can clear some things up.

I am not talking about exceptional circumstances.

I'm not talking about opportunities to be able to practise or to find a certain car. By complicated, I mean that my relative says you need more practising and physical coordination to get the hang of manual transmission. You said it yourself.


Of course. In situations where it does not matter whether you go manual or automatic, my relative says to go with automatic, just because it takes less practise. But only in that situation. Obviously, not every situation is like this. I don't know the situation in Sweden. So what my relative said might not be relavent at all for Sweden. But there's a chance that it might be relavent.

Also, I do not know if it's true for everyone that manual transmission is harder. People just told me their opinions about the two. Maybe manual is easier for some people.

Manual can be difficult for those who have difficulty "doing 2 or more things at once."

It can even be dangerous. If one is in a situation where one must act instinctually (e.g., when trying to avoid an accident or even reacting to being honked at), a person with coordination problems might, say, put the car in reverse, rather than proceed forwardly, thereby potentially causing an accident.

There's a good reason why one doesn't get a "full" license if one cannot use manual transmission.

Intelligence has little to no bearing on interests. People are commonly fascinated by things they don't understand, (eg: the opposite sex.) Every field has many people in it who can't even tell that they are just getting in the way. (Dunning-Kruger Syndrome) If you are brilliant at some point, you still have to be well-rounded enough to communicate. After devising the Periodic Table, Mendelev got invitations to all the conferences, but was unpopular and disruptive, never making another contribution.

If you are going to drive an automatic is Sweden, at least learn to shift to neutral when you skid on ice and snow. Shifting is a simple but coordinated dance that can be mastered in a parking lot until you do it without thinking, before almost all other driving skills. I think automatics are a silly, irresponsible way to spend more money if you don't stumble just from walking around. Consider availability, too. I once flew to LA in the middle of a gas crisis, when people were renting cars just to save time in the gas lineups. There was a lineup at the rental, too, but they had a stick-shift Mustang for me that nobody else could drive!

My advice is to find out what you are good at, and then find a way to sell your work. My heroes were all specialists who had to find business partners or unusually flexible organizations to work with.

I could probably get used to manual after driving a little in actual traffic conditions. Before I get used to it, it'd be dangerous. Even more so on narrow British roads.

My wife wouldn't get into a car if I am having to drive manual.

Just the parking lot thing wouldn't work for me.

Likewise, I had a lot of problems learning how to drive. With practice, it got easier.

Allegedly, autistics think visually and not as much auditorily. On the other hand, not all autistics are the same, just like not all NTs are the same.

Anyone that tells you you are stupid, is trying to insult you. Anyone that tells you you are smart, is judgmental and manipulative. If you want to know your IQ score, you can take an IQ test. Plenty of samples online. However, everyone has some sort of agenda, and everyone has prejudices. Even clinical psychologists. It could be to your benefit to get an education psychologist (something like that) to give you an IQ test to screen for a learning disability. When I was 21, I went. People do have a legal right to say whatever they want. (fine).

However, an instructor told the security guard "you're a genius!", when he unlocked the door. Someone told me "stupid kid!", when I knocked on the bathroom door. Neither one of them had a legal right to administer an IQ test. Neither one of them administered an IQ test. IQ tests do not label anyone as "smart" or "stupid." Even learning disabilities/disorder nowadays go by the euphemism "learning differences." (rolls eyes)

Different people are good at different things. Intelligence is nature versus nurture.

Not everyone is "wired" the same way, one instructor said. (what that statement means, I do not know.)

Support groups and psychologists could work on your confidence. On the other hand, psychologists are people and all people have flaws and biases. Some psychologists that I have had were extremely condescending. ("I know you're smart," one of them had the nerve to tell me, as if I were some 5 year old instead of 33 at the time. And as if she were so important and awesome, that it was necessary for her to "know you're smart".) Likewise with support groups. Taking the risk, could make your confidence higher or lower.

Maybe consider other academic majors, based on what you find interesting, what you are good at, the job market, and et cetera. Some majors are easier, for some people, than others. Based on the physics classes that I took in college (the college had physics classes for physics majors, physics for engineers, and physics for science majors), I got the impression that physics was the hardest academic subject at that school. Later, I ended up in cognitive science. And of course, I am ashamed that I was not academically smart enough to do structural engineering. (fine). But, academically smart, street smart, or neither, "life" goes on.

Kahn Academy provides lessons.

Some schools offer private or group tutoring. Try office hours. Work in study groups.

Yeah buy-in is super key. I had a similar problem when I went to uni, If something didn't interest me, I really struggled to absorb it. I literally forced myself to be interested in things. I'd tell myself how important the subject was and how my life would be improved by learning it.