Now I know why we have no friends

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I have had a week to think about this and here is my answer.

I will not say sorry to him no way.

However I like the young fellow and I have made plans this weekend and he is invited.
Last second with no notice a reverse of planning.

Hope it goes well I will get back to the board to update.

It's best to not meet other Aspies but go to a place like this where you get to pick and choose which ones get it and which ones don't among the Aspies and PM them. I am like a kid in a candy store here and getting about a 1/200 result which is really high odds. BTW that was advice to you all but it was an invite only to the OP.

Best of luck.

Ok had the day and I have had enough of the rude and selfish behaviour I am out.

All contact has been blocked.

I am only one human and I have to get on with my own life.

Sometimes that's for the better. Some people with ASD (especially men) I've met were extremely annoying and I wouldn't be able to stand dealing with them on a regular basis. Someone being late is something which can bother me a lot as well but the thing is that it happens all the time when you want to meet up with people. This dude should learn to deal with it. Of course it's possible that he's not aware of how annoying he is but I always find that a bit odd. People who get their diagnosis are usually informed of all the typical ASD quirks and therefore should be able to adjust their behavior somewhat.

Did not explain the full situation in the opening post when we go out I do the paying as I am the one working.

When I met up with him first I was in a decent enough paying job that has since closed down.
I have moved from low paying job to low paying job since and my hours are all over the place.

I have had to deal with a family crisis over the Christmas and my own feelings of depression.

I did all I could for this indavidual but he has zero understanding of money or my circumstances and I am on the spectrum too.
I have blocked all contact and that will be another person with Autism wondering why somebody has cut all ties.

Being on the spectrum myself I have been clingy with family myself but I can now understand that I make my own fun and I have come to value my own personal space and freedoms.

I have no doubt this person will have no idea why he is being blanked but thats life.

Can not have a person making plans that will cost me money throwing huffs when I have to cancel from time to time.

The would will never truly understand people on the spectrum people on the spectrum need to do their best to try and make sense of the world.
I did my best to help but I am spent.

It's a big problem for me too.

On the one hand, I feel constantly pissed off whenever I'm around other Aspies.

On the other, they're my people; shouldn't I have more patriotism?

But you owe it to yourself to hang around people and situations that aren't going to add to your stress. You work hard, you're under pressure, you don't need extra bother. That won't help anyone. Trust me, eventually it will lead to a blow-up. You jeopardise more by sitting back and 'taking it like an NT' instead of just being honest: This is who you are.

Maybe try emailing the person in question, apologise for the miscommunication and explain why you felt it necessary to switch off your phone. Does this person work? Are they under as much pressure as you? (I'm guessing not). It's time they started getting out of their own little bubble. Autism is no excuse for being completely self-centred all one's life.

This.

Okay, sorry, I just got up to speed on the situation.

I was friends for years with a person just like the one you speak about.

At least, I thought we were friends.

Truth was, I always kind of felt like it was their way or the highway. If I ever wanted things my way, I was repeatedly convinced I was stupid. It felt like a one-way friendship.

Then one day, I just cut ties with them. Changed my phone number, even. I'd had enough.

Karma is a b***h, though.

Over the next 5 years, I lost contact with at least 3 fantastic friends, who should have stayed in my life, all things considered.

Finally, I made contact with the person again, let all my feelings out so they understood why I'd gotten so pissed off at them, and apologised for having cut contact without warning.

After that, the friends I'd lost contact with slowly started coming back into my life. Not only that, the main thing standing between me and happiness seemed to have been removed. My heart felt free for some reason.

Let me tell you something: No matter how much someone pisses you off, they deserve, at the very least, an explanation if you intend to never speak to them again. Don't leave them wondering; that's torture for them and it will not bring you good luck in your life, and if you think otherwise, you're kidding yourself.

A simple email or text message will suffice. Remember, they're on a path of self-development too, and by not telling them how you feel, you are denying them a vital opportunity to progress along that path.

What if everyone they come into contact with cuts ties with them out of exasperation, like you did, never explaining to them why? They'll go through life getting more and more confused, depressed, but never understanding what they need to work on. It could even lead to insanity or suicide!

Making your feelings clear doesn't mean you have to re-establish a friendship with this person. It just means you free yourself to not have to think about your interaction with them in the future with regret, and maybe even dread running into them again.

Please take it from someone who's been there. I'm not proud of my actions in the past, but you know what, if I can help spare you the same crap Karma sent my way because of my superior mindedness, I won't be sorry for it.

You sound like a cool person. I hope it works out well for you.

I agree with Alita that unless there's a very good reason why you couldn't,
I would tell your former friend why you are cutting ties with him.

I had to do this once with a really close friend.
Ended up explaining that the friendship was over during a phone call, it was all very calm and peaceful,
just letting my friend know that getting together wasn't going to work out anymore
unless things changed.

My friend admitted that no, things were not going to change.
So she had the closure of knowing my thoughts and feelings
and I had the closure of knowing that she understood and still
wanted to persist in problematic behavior ...
and that she was choosing this behavior over our friendship.

Always hard to lose a friend.
At least in this case, we both knew the reason why
and were not left guessing or second-guessing ourselves.

Thanks for all the advice I will decide how to deal with it by the weekend.
However it is over and it's time to move on.