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Daniel89
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16 Mar 2018, 11:29 am

I don't believe in the concept of Greed. I think disadvantaged people need to be more selfish if they want to get on in life, I wish I had been a more selfish person when I was younger and my life probably would have turned out better.



Ichinin
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16 Mar 2018, 4:11 pm

Why wouldn't we be able to? Being or not being those things are not part of the diagnostic criteria, and the traits there are the ONLY ones that matter to the diagnosis.

I'm seriously getting tired of how naïve some members here are who think that we are all good because they think we are all like them and nobody cannot possibly be different or bad.


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Dear_one
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16 Mar 2018, 5:42 pm

Sometimes our special needs force selfishness, but overall, I think we are more inclined to share than average.



MrsPeel
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16 Mar 2018, 5:49 pm

I dunno...
I guess this might be a bit controversial, but I believe there is a tendency to selfishness as part of AS conditions.
Though I can only speak of my own experience, I do remember as a child struggling to learn concepts of sharing and giving, that other kids seemed to pick up so much faster.
Suppose that might just be me :(



RainbowUnion
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16 Mar 2018, 5:54 pm

Dylanperr wrote:
I want to know?


Unfortunately yes. Those are some of the primary negative traits associated with it.


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Dear_one
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16 Mar 2018, 6:05 pm

MrsPeel wrote:
I dunno...
I guess this might be a bit controversial, but I believe there is a tendency to selfishness as part of AS conditions.
Though I can only speak of my own experience, I do remember as a child struggling to learn concepts of sharing and giving, that other kids seemed to pick up so much faster.
Suppose that might just be me :(


My AS mother mostly left my early education up to my sister, who she had trained two years previously. Sis was not a trained, conscientious teacher, so I found myself getting into a lot of unexpected trouble. Then, one day I heard the Golden Rule, and used it as a Go/Nogo test for whatever I felt like doing. It worked great, so I applied it as widely as I could.



MrsPeel
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16 Mar 2018, 6:08 pm

Yeah, I'm a big fan of the golden rule, too.

It's odd, because although I'm selfish I also have immense compassion for others, and always try to do the right thing by them.
I just forget a lot, get too lost in my own concerns.
And when I try to demonstrate that compassion I tend to get it all wrong.

Edited to add: So it's not that I feel selfish inside, just that my external behaviour is selfish.



kraftiekortie
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16 Mar 2018, 6:18 pm

I can actually be pretty selfish......

There are times, though, when people who are not autistic can be "selfish" to people with autism----because they don't desire to meet the autistic person half way. They feel their "social" way is the "only way."

Nothing wrong with advocating being friendly with people. It's the "forced socialization" which irritates me.



RainbowUnion
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16 Mar 2018, 6:22 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I can actually be pretty selfish......

There are times, though, when people who are not autistic can be "selfish" to people with autism----because they don't desire to meet the autistic person half way. They feel their "social" way is the "only way."

Nothing wrong with advocating being friendly with people. It's the "forced socialization" which irritates me.


Totally agreed.


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Wolfram87
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16 Mar 2018, 6:35 pm

I wonder about the mindset of people who asks this sort of question. "Can autistic people have trait X?". Unless X is a trait that isn't found in people, I don't know why autistic people should be excluded from that possibility. Unless one believes that autistic people are somehow above, below or otherwhise excluded from the category of "people".


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B19
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16 Mar 2018, 7:11 pm

It would be interesting to hear how and why people define themselves as "selfish", I wonder whether it means the same to different people.

What specific behaviours do people define as selfishness? And why?



kraftiekortie
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16 Mar 2018, 7:14 pm

I'm "selfish" because I couldn't think of the "right thing" to say after my wife had to be saved from her flooded car. When she called, I didn't say anything at all. I was trying to think of the correct thing to say. She thought I should have had an immediate empathetic reaction. She sort of bears a grudge over this to this day.

She also didn't like it when I felt like she should talk to the insurance people sooner, rather than later.



B19
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16 Mar 2018, 8:43 pm

I know from my own experience that in every relationship of almost every kind there will be different expectations held by the different parties involved. You gave an example if very differently held expectations, which caused pain to each of you, (and resentment on your partner's part).

In the bigger picture of things, beyond your own personal situation, selfish accusations very clealy play a role in trying to shape another's behaviour to suit the accuser. Isn't that selfish in itself?



kraftiekortie
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16 Mar 2018, 8:47 pm

LOL....I think she knows she has the upper hand with me.



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16 Mar 2018, 8:55 pm

This year I have donated to 2 charities. One for animal welfare (of course) and another for a disabled organisation (not ASD). However in both cases, I donated less than I could have afforded - for example, I could have doubled both amounts and still have been able to afford my expenses and lifestyle.

Does not giving larger sums make me selfish?



kraftiekortie
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16 Mar 2018, 8:59 pm

No, it doesn't.

You donated out of the goodness of your heart.

You might have been "selfish" if you didn't donate at all.