14 Aug 2020, 3:25 pm
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Thus far I don't re anyone telling me that
Maybe forgot
Usually they show they don't like you with their actions and other statements
Everyone is biased
If someone told you "I don't like you", that could be more convenient for you than if they demonstrated it subtly in ways autistics failed to interpret
Maybe forgot
Usually they show they don't like you with their actions and other statements
Everyone is biased
If someone told you "I don't like you", that could be more convenient for you than if they demonstrated it subtly in ways autistics failed to interpret
Don't get me wrong - a lot of the time in my younger adult days, I could tell if someone had some sort of dislike towards me, but it was ambiguous to me (that is, it didn't totally escape me). Whereas, for an NT, it would have been more obvious. They would also be more likely to intuitively know the reason(s) why, due to stronger Theory of Mind and central coherence (combined with fluent nonverbal ability).
It's a paradox, that the ones most likely to get these indirect "don't like you" signals are the ones least likely to recognize them & their underlying motivations
and vice-versa...
14 Aug 2020, 3:34 pm
14 Aug 2020, 6:48 pm
14 Aug 2020, 7:46 pm
I often get in trouble on online chatroom because if someone is discussing said user i won't be afraid to say what i say to them and If i think they are a nosey a**hole then i'ma say it. I'm not afraid to say it. I've always had this hyper black/white truth lie thing. Where if i don't say 100% the truth and nthoing but the truth it's a lie. Excluding information si lying. Admittedly it's not nearly as bad as it was a few years ago. I'd just like be like hye guy's here's everything about me 
Like if I don't like you i'm making that clear from the get go if you have a problem with that i don't care.
14 Aug 2020, 10:37 pm
Jayo wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Sixth grade campers in a summer camp where I worked as their camp counselor told me 'We do not like you' with a sly smile enjoying the cruelty and power play of what they were saying. They could tell I wasn't as social or popular as the other counselors neither among the kids, nor other counselors. The whole camp was really screwed up and that was the norm with popular kids and counselors going around being mean to unpopular kids.
it's always interesting that 'NT' default bullying/dog-eat-dog tendencies and behaviour esp in groups is not 'psychologically dysfunctional' but the bullied person's internal withdrawal or protective reserve, or reactions to BEING bullied is.
the person poking the tiger in its pen with a sharp stick - but it's the tiger which is aggressive and needs discipline, for growling back. (have not seen this happen at zoos in N America but have in other countries and documentaries) that type of thing.
^^^THIS. Exactly. It's the perverse tribal-hierarchical nature of neurotypicalism. People in their "in-group" are more likely to be highly critical of actions of those outside their in-group. Just like the institutional bias in the school system, when a "special" or "different" kid stands up for himself to a bully with physical force, he gets suspended for 2-3 days and the bully is the "victim" because he's the normal one.
Because once it reaches the point of us getting harassed, we're already deemed as mentally deficient, "less-than", the lepers, whatever pejorative. Empathic justice is virtually non-existent. Retaliating in that situation would be akin to a Jew in 1930s Germany standing up to an abusive "pure" German, even if in self-defence, it is the Jew who would be disproportionately punished
To paraphrase Nietzsche, "the madness of the group is normal, the madness of one is unacceptable".
Most NTs couldn't take what we go through in school. Just being constantly alone while all other kids are in a group of friends would defeat your average NT!
14 Aug 2020, 10:51 pm
blooiejagwa wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Sixth grade campers in a summer camp where I worked as their camp counselor told me 'We do not like you' with a sly smile enjoying the cruelty and power play of what they were saying. They could tell I wasn't as social or popular as the other counselors neither among the kids, nor other counselors. The whole camp was really screwed up and that was the norm with popular kids and counselors going around being mean to unpopular kids.
it's always interesting that 'NT' default bullying/dog-eat-dog tendencies and behaviour esp in groups is not 'psychologically dysfunctional' but the bullied person's internal withdrawal or protective reserve, or reactions to BEING bullied is.
the person poking the tiger in its pen with a sharp stick - but it's the tiger which is aggressive and needs discipline, for growling back. (have not seen this happen at zoos in N America but have in other countries and documentaries) that type of thing.
I used to feel the same way as you but I've since realized that other people aren't the problem. The problem is thinking that other people cause your emotions. They don't. Only you cause your own emotions. If you felt worse, it's probably because you had a low self-esteem and someone reminded you of your own beliefs about yourself. After I improved my self-esteem, which is very easy to do, I no longer got offended, felt insulted, bullied, rejected, etc.
14 Aug 2020, 10:54 pm
emotrtkey wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Sixth grade campers in a summer camp where I worked as their camp counselor told me 'We do not like you' with a sly smile enjoying the cruelty and power play of what they were saying. They could tell I wasn't as social or popular as the other counselors neither among the kids, nor other counselors. The whole camp was really screwed up and that was the norm with popular kids and counselors going around being mean to unpopular kids.
it's always interesting that 'NT' default bullying/dog-eat-dog tendencies and behaviour esp in groups is not 'psychologically dysfunctional' but the bullied person's internal withdrawal or protective reserve, or reactions to BEING bullied is.
the person poking the tiger in its pen with a sharp stick - but it's the tiger which is aggressive and needs discipline, for growling back. (have not seen this happen at zoos in N America but have in other countries and documentaries) that type of thing.
I used to feel the same way as you but I've since realized that other people aren't the problem. The problem is thinking that other people cause your emotions. They don't. Only you cause your own emotions. If you felt worse, it's probably because you had a low self-esteem and someone reminded you of your own beliefs about yourself. After I improved my self-esteem, which is very easy to do, I no longer got offended, felt insulted, bullied, rejected, etc.
i disagree. in this case i'm thinking about people blaming someone in order to get them in trouble,
lying,
manipulation,
threats relating to kids,
accusing someone of something they actually did in order to take attention/suspicion off themselves ,
slander, etc.
that affects u in real tangible ways not just emotionally. and maybe even people in your care or around u.
15 Aug 2020, 4:00 am
Sweetleaf
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