Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Which "social rule" do you detest the most?

Page 2 of 4 [ 54 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

04 Apr 2021, 5:20 pm

warrier120 wrote:
I always found it frustrating how NTs tend to shun those who state that they're proud of being autistic. Apparently, being autistic and loving yourself for who you are is forbidden... :roll:


I find it even weirder when autistic people do that.

I guess misery wants to keep company with misery. :roll:

I'd rather be proud of my good traits and work on my bad than hate everything to do with being autistic.


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


Fireblossom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,588

05 Apr 2021, 2:49 am

warrier120 wrote:
I always found it frustrating how NTs tend to shun those who state that they're proud of being autistic. Apparently, being autistic and loving yourself for who you are is forbidden... :roll:


In another support forum that I used back in the day there was this one man who loved being autistic. He got a lot of subtle insults and such from the other autistic members there, so I think it's safe to say it's not just NTs who practice that social rule. And I think I've seen some people do it here too when someone's pointed out good sides of having autism.



kitesandtrainsandcats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2016
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,968
Location: Missouri

05 Apr 2021, 7:23 am

Jayo wrote:
Which "Social Rule" Do You Detest The Most?

I don't even know what they all are.
And I'm not going to bother looking them up.


_________________
"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011


Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,727
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

05 Apr 2021, 7:40 am

Which social rule? Hmmm... Let's see...

I'm not sure anymore. Because I wouldn't care anymore. :lol:


If I could, I would choose to follow any sets of painstaking rule for sentiment or boredom's sake.
Or ignore it because various reasons both logical and illogical.

Or exploit any rule for my benefit cause why not? That's how some NTs do it.
I can't see how autistics exempts themselves from it, other than specific mindsets about socializing and the sheer difficulty of pulling it off.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

05 Apr 2021, 9:53 am

Small Talk
Hugging people hello / goodbye
Eye contact
How are you? Fine, Thanks! :wall:

I don't really do any of these, but I detest them anyway.

Oh, also the rule that says I can't sit on the floor / ground when I have a shutdown or meltdown in public.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,247

05 Apr 2021, 11:15 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Small Talk
Hugging people hello / goodbye
Eye contact
How are you? Fine, Thanks! :wall:

I don't really do any of these, but I detest them anyway.

Oh, also the rule that says I can't sit on the floor / ground when I have a shutdown or meltdown in public.

I hate the expectation of eye contact so much. I'm not even good at faking it. People either get weirded out from me essentially staring through their soul, or get offended because I'm looking at something else and they don't think I'm paying attention to them.

A lot of autistic people can't win when it comes to eye contact. :lol:



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

05 Apr 2021, 11:25 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Small Talk
Hugging people hello / goodbye
Eye contact
How are you? Fine, Thanks! :wall:

I don't really do any of these, but I detest them anyway.

Oh, also the rule that says I can't sit on the floor / ground when I have a shutdown or meltdown in public.

I hate the expectation of eye contact so much. I'm not even good at faking it. People either get weirded out from me essentially staring through their soul, or get offended because I'm looking at something else and they don't think I'm paying attention to them.

A lot of autistic people can't win when it comes to eye contact. :lol:


I don't even try to make eye contact. Most of the time I realise after interactions that I wasn't even facing the person, or looking in their general direction at all. I'm often turned the other way or walking away from them as I speak. Then I go home and ruminate about it, and realise I was supposed to fake it, and I start imagining how bad it looked or how much of a freak I am. Then I tell myself I'd better do it better next time. Next time never happens because I get so nervous in social situations I totally blank and forget the rules. I've never known how to mask.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,247

05 Apr 2021, 3:09 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't even try to make eye contact. Most of the time I realise after interactions that I wasn't even facing the person, or looking in their general direction at all. I'm often turned the other way or walking away from them as I speak. Then I go home and ruminate about it, and realise I was supposed to fake it, and I start imagining how bad it looked or how much of a freak I am. Then I tell myself I'd better do it better next time. Next time never happens because I get so nervous in social situations I totally blank and forget the rules. I've never known how to mask.

I get anxiety in social situations, and need to avoid eye contact when I have anxiety. The only time I really make myself do it now is if I'm talking to a doctor or someone important and I want them to take me seriously.

Something that's interesting is I can make eye contact with animals just fine. I actually enjoy doing that and find it very emotionally fulfilling.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

05 Apr 2021, 3:53 pm

Eye contact is natural for me but I consciously avoid eye contact when walking past strangers.


_________________
Female


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 39,637
Location: Long Island, New York

05 Apr 2021, 7:29 pm

"Sorry for your loss" seems to me to be utterly minimizing the devastation the bereaved feel because it is such a generalized no effort phrase.


_________________
“Self Acceptance is a process not a performance”
“You are autistic enough. And you always have been”

Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity.


Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,395

06 Apr 2021, 1:42 pm

It's acceptable for people to babble on about something they know nothing about, but puncture their arrogant nonsense with a few facts and you're the rude one.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

06 Apr 2021, 5:33 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
"Sorry for your loss" seems to me to be utterly minimizing the devastation the bereaved feel because it is such a generalized no effort phrase.


I think people say it as a way of giving sympathy and not knowing what else to say. The only thing I wish I could say to a grieving person is "I'll see if I can bring your loved one back" but I can't say that because unfortunately I cannot do that, and neither can anybody else. So I suppose that's the next best thing to say, even if it doesn't sound logical.


_________________
Female


Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,395

06 Apr 2021, 11:47 pm

I also have a problem with "canned" responses that sound insincere because everyone says exactly the same thing in exactly the same words.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 39,637
Location: Long Island, New York

07 Apr 2021, 2:04 am

Joe90 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
"Sorry for your loss" seems to me to be utterly minimizing the devastation the bereaved feel because it is such a generalized no effort phrase.


I think people say it as a way of giving sympathy and not knowing what else to say. The only thing I wish I could say to a grieving person is "I'll see if I can bring your loved one back" but I can't say that because unfortunately I cannot do that, and neither can anybody else. So I suppose that's the next best thing to say, even if it doesn't sound logical.


I usually say "Sorry this had to happen to you", or "Sorry you have to go through this". No words are adequate for the situation but those sound a bit less perfunctory.


_________________
“Self Acceptance is a process not a performance”
“You are autistic enough. And you always have been”

Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity.


King Kat 1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,754
Location: In an underground undisclosed location

23 Apr 2021, 6:59 pm

Fnord wrote:
Jayo wrote:
Which "social rule" do you detest the most?
That someone is allowed to be as obnoxious as possible just because he or she has "personal issues" and might have a meltdown if reminded that their behavior is in violation of The Rules in some way.


Sounds like my work. I used to work with this lady and her husband. I didn't have a problem with the husband, except he was a total spineless wimp who had the personality of a cucumber. The lady, she was a serious over achiever and major suck up to management.

She(and her husband) could do no wrong. In fact, she used to buy Christmas and birthday presents for our manager(s)!. However she was a terror to work with, I caught het wrath a few times. One time I had honestly no clue what I even did. I heard later on, that I was referred to as a F___ing R word one time. She ended up quitting for health reasons, thankfully. Her husband is on a different shift now. She got away with being a psycho B---h because she kissed managements ass.


_________________
Lying sideways atop crumpled sheets and no covers, he decides to dream
Dream up a new self for himself-Pearl Jam


King Kat 1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,754
Location: In an underground undisclosed location

23 Apr 2021, 7:05 pm

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
It's acceptable for people to babble on about something they know nothing about, but puncture their arrogant nonsense with a few facts and you're the rude one.



I've gotten myself in trouble for this countless times. People posting biased debunked from non reputable news sources or keep repeating things that are totally wrong( Vaccines cause Autism for example). I mentioned this in another post earlier in this thread, but this one idiot at work runs his mouth all the time. He told everyone I was a know it all smug MF'er. Thing is, when I corrected him, I DID KNOW what I was talking about it. Moron.... :?


_________________
Lying sideways atop crumpled sheets and no covers, he decides to dream
Dream up a new self for himself-Pearl Jam