Have any of you ever been called out?

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That's what I thought it meant, too.

The only time someone has mentioned AS to me is the neuropsych who tested me. I went in to be tested for NLD, and she brought up AS as a possibility.

I'm afraid to. I've had to fight tooth and nail to get dr's take me seriously as it is with my physical problems. I'm so afraid that they'll think I'm looking for something to be wrong with me. Dr's and counselors hate it when you try to suggest what the problem could be. They think it's only their job and you're not supposed to read about anything medical in books or the internet. If you haven't slaved in college/university reading hundreds of books and heard an ungodly amount of lectures for many years, you're supposed to sit there and keep your mouth shut.

I think what I'll do someday is, instead of going through my HMO, I'll save up and pay for a private session with someone known to work with and diagnose AS people (I might have to go to a big city for that.) If I get diagnosed with it, I can eventually let my PCP know. If I don't get diagnosed with it, I won't let my PCP know that I sought help and he'll never be the wiser.

I'm good at nodding. (I've found that people like it when they think you agree with them.) Near-mute, as I do speak to people I "know" (which has always been less than a handful). Some of us just slip through the cracks (I'm ok at this metaphor thing).

ChatBrat,

Life experience I guess; no one has cared when I implied or alluded to anything (I guess because I've been right every time). Though, my mother has told me that professionals always take me "seriously" compared to her -- probably due to my overly formal and serious speech when it trots itself out.

((((((((((((((Daniel))))))))))))))

I read somewhere once that nodding during a conversation is often (especially among women rather than men) used as a "yes I understand, please proceed" rather than "yes I agree".

ChatBrat,

That's pretty much how I feel; trapped within infinite parentheses and unable to escape. (I'm unsure of what your post is...stating, but I see meaning in nothing.)

arem,

Whatever nodding does, it works.... Though, I never nodded when someone told me that I didn't speak, I just looked down, away and withdrew even further into my shell.

I've had a therapist say before autism was known to be a spectrum of disorders that if there was such a thing as "a little bit autistic, that would be me." This was in the early 90's before Hans Asperger's work became widely known, and the only form of autism known was LFA. When I mentioned to this therapist that I was diagnosed with AS, she agreed with the diagnosis.

Daniel, on the internet people can't see each others emotions and we can't touch, so we use certain symbols and text to convey our intentions and feelings. When I put your name in between parentheses, that means that I gave you a hug. A cyber hug. An innocent hug from one pal to another : )

Before I knew about AS, I always believed that if I read enough books about overcoming shyness or social anxiety, I would eventually appear normal. The most dreaded word to me was always, "weird." When I didn't speak much, I'm sure it was my instictual protection against people discovering that I was different or weird. Even now, I'm still laboring under the fantasy that if I try hard enough, no one will ever have to know. I know I can't keep up the act for long, but I fool myself into believing that I'm able to appear normal for short periods of time. Of course, I always feel like I've run a marathon after a day of socializing. That, in itself, is not normal. Sometimes, I want to tell my husband and kids why I need so much down time, but I don't want them to think of me as a handicapped wife/mother.

There are a couple of acquaintances who seem to watch me closely, trying to figure me out. I've been around these people long enough that I haven't been able to cover up the AS completely. I do live in fear of being "called out" by them. I've already rehearsed what I will say, sort of a dismissive, "I know. I know," (with a nod) before they've even had the chance to get into their "helpful" discussion about my problem. I don't like the idea of them thinking they know something about me that I don't. Maybe that's sort of an Aspie quality.

One of these acquaintances works in the medical field. She seems to be testing me. I notice her checking my eye contact, reaction to jokes, etc. I almost never break eye contact when I talk to her; I'm trying so hard to appear normal, but it probably only makes me look stranger, since I'm looking TOO intently. I don't know why it bothers me so, but I don't like the idea of any of these people "figuring it out." I feel some satisfaction when I'm able to keep the eye contact, because then maybe they're checking off the Autism/Asperger's from their list of what's wrong with me. "Well, she doesn't seem to have trouble making eye contact, so she must not be autistic."

Another one of the acquaintances and his wife are ALWAYS watching me. I feel their eyes following me, whenever they're near. This man himself seems to display some Aspie qualities. I wonder if he sees it in me. I, actually, don't feel much distress about being confronted by him. I think it would be more like a kinship. I don't like the feeling of being constantly analyzed by him (and especially his NT wife), in the meantime, though.

I think the odds of being "called out" now are much higher than in years past. People seem to be far more versed in the signs/symptoms of autistic behavior.

Kiki3, maybe people look at you so intently because you're pretty : )

I'll try to tell myself that from now on.

Yeah, it's the same with most men.

I work in care so many people have told me they think I have AS. One lady I worked with for a couple of weeks would manager to mention Aspergers in every convo we had. I guess she just did not want to come right out and say it directly.

I don't like the idea of people being able to tell I have AS. I suppose it will happen often because of the job I choose to have.
Nobody out of work has ever mentioned it.

Damn, I even miss social cues here. :) Whilst said hug is a kind gesture, note that I’d be backing away from you quicker than...something real quick “out there”. I am a paranoid autistic android who only lets less than a few people touch him.

Back when it came out, my family went to the cinema to see Rain Man. Recently, when I told my mother about my DX, she revealed that after the movie she had asked our family doctor if I might have this autism thing. The doctor had replied something to the effect of "No way, not by a long shot!", and I guess that was case closed there and then... The term Asperger's syndrom didn't hit the "crazy manuals" until 5-6 years later.

Isn't it funny how that works? There was nothing wrong with us, until they decided that there was.

I have a bad habit of saying, "Yeah" more than the average person. I have to keep reminding myself that NT's analyzing me would take that as a definite sign of autism, after watching Rain Man. Maybe, for fun, I should randomly throw out comments about only buying underwear from Kmart. "Aha! I knew it! She's autistic!"