trouble using the phone?

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I often find that when on the phone I get very distracted easily and have to ask people to repeat a lot of what they say, or I zone out while they are talking and hear absolutely nothing at all.

There are a few people I talk with fairly easily, but for the most part, I always feel I should be responding to things and sometimes I would just rather reflect on what has been said. It's uncomfortable for both me and them-they expect a response or are wanting to hear what I have to say about something, and I'm too lost in my thoughts and too focused on how to word things properly that I often say nothing, even when I want to.

Another things unsettling about the phone is that people cannot see what you are doing. I've had people tell me appointment dates, times, etc., and even after writing them down, I don't completely comprehend what I have been told, so I have to ask again, usually. It is very frustrating to be told to write it down and have someone sound very annoyed, when I'm looking at the thing right in front of me and just don't fully get it. As far as normal people calling me up, I just find it a nuisance unless I know in advance via e-mail or messaging that they are going to call. When they don't bother to call, I don't drop what I am doing and they sound annoyed that I am not dropping everything to find out what they are up to... they are the ones who called me-if they want to tell me, then tell me... don't expect me to ask, and why in the world should I drop everything when I was interrupted to begin with?

I guess I'm ok with the phone...though my friend absolutely could not figure out why I could not order a pizza on her phone. I don't know...look at the menu...decide...phone...listen...talk...listen...respond...listen...agggggg!! !! !! !


But I REFUSE to talk to machines on the phone. Keep pushing '0'; usually you will get a human. Well...sometimes. I think companies are trying to weed out those of us who refuse to talk to machines.

"But all you need to do is push a number."

"No"

"But just choose a number."

"No."

"It's easy..."

"Maybe, but I won't do it."

Maybe I should do something like that because talking on the phone is often a major hassle.

I dislike calling people on the phone. I am more comfortable with answering the phone. Probably because I have gotten a lot more practice answering the phone at work.
I tend to write up an outline of the points I need to talk about whenever I am going to call someone.
Once I get on the phone it is almost like my brain starts drifting and I forget things that I intended to talk or ask about. The outline helps anchor me and lets me refocus and write down answers or new points that pop up that I need to ask about.

I do talk on the phone sometimes to be more NT, but I can't say I enjoy it much. Either the other person will talk my ear off while singing or there will be dead silence.

phones aren't very engaging but they can be useful

For the longest time, I had difficulties using the phone because of anxiety. I felt on the verge of a panic attack whenever the phone rang and I knew I have to pick up the receiver, even when I knew it was an old friend or a relative and the conversation wouldn't be about anything significant, so there was absolutely nothing to fear. After a while, the anxiety would subside and it'd become easier to talk, but the beginning of the conversation was almost invariably awful. It's also much more difficult to adjust to the timing of the conversation on the phone (because I can't see the face of the person I'm talking to, or their gestures, and can't pick up any nonverbal cues that could provide some indication), so I could rarely tell when was my turn to speak. I'd end up interrupting, talking over the other person, failing to say what I wanted because I had missed my turn, or sometimes the two of us would start saying something at the same time, then fall silent, then start saying something again, until one of us decided to keep quiet and let the other do the talking (this used to happen and still happens to me in ordinary conversation as well, but on the phone it could be far more frequent). The anxiety only made things worse, of course.

As a result of all this, I ended up absolutely *hating* talking on the phone. I've become better at it recently, and can keep up a more or less smooth conversation (at least when I make an effort to stay calm and don't let the anxiety take over again), but I still prefer either email/text messaging or meeting my friends in person.

I don't mind social calls if its very close family members. Otherwise I prefer email. and I hate answering machines!

I am uncomfortable using the phone - I cannot recognise voices (even familiar ones) because it just sounds like a buzzing tin diaphragm with some speech elements in it.
speech is also unrevisable unlike like text but I hate writing also
I prefer speaking in person most people can see 'I don't do normal' that understood we get on fine

I seem to have the same problems in my face-to-face conversations - I don't really know how to end a conversation.

It feels a lot like a comedy bit I saw on a sitcom one time where someone was meeting with some Japenese business men who they were trying to get their business w/o offending them, and duing the whole bit bowing to each one of them, and they kept bowing back, and bowing, and bowing, (while the Laugh-Trak machine was craking up in the background), until an assistant or secretary stepped in and stopped the "perpetual motion machine of bowing".

I feel like that a lot. I don't know how to signal that I'm trying to end the conversation, get the cues they are trying to end the conversation, or even when I have given the I signal that I'm trying to end it I seem to not know when to stop talking. It usually ends abruptly, and I'll repeat myself over and over about the high points of the conversation until I suddently decide to say "ok, Bye!" and hang up.

VERY awkward.

And don't even get me started about trying to have a conversation that isn't focused on a task, or is there for purely social reasons. I don't even want to talk about the sheer amount of dead air on the line. I think that's why my wife and I get along so well - she does all the talking, and I do all the listening and absorbing.

It's just like sitting at a table with 3 other people - they have to be talkers, or it will just be nothing but awkward silence and I can't think of a darned thing to say, (that they would be remotely interested in). I probably come off as either an idiot, or some Mensa snob who doesn't see fit to bestow my profound knowledge and wisdom on them.

Such is life...

I am ok on the phone if I have written down what I will say to the other person, because all I have to do is read it.

If I am leaving a message on someones answering machine, I will write it down first and it comes out of my mouth perfectly.
If I am talking to someone, and they say something that makes me have to say something different than I have written, I will panic and stutter, sometimes even just hang up on them.

I try to avoid using the phone unless it is vital.

The nature of my work I often answer calls that require the need of short turm memory. I have learnt to write down as a am listening, And it has got easier over time. I often avoid the phone sometime but I am occationally ready and willing as I hope it will help me become more NT.

The main problem I have with phoning people is that my mind wanders and I sort of forget what they've just been saying. Then again, that can happen in real life too.