Page 2 of 2 [ 26 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

MastaVR6
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 28

17 Sep 2007, 11:59 am

NT are curious. Any individual that can stand on their own and be comfortable is mistaken as an Alpha personality trait or that you are so confident you don't always need to embed yourself in NT's. There is no need to feel hostile or threatened, try a little polite small talk, and ask some questions. It's easier for NT girls (wolf pack) to approach a person while in a group, sometimes you might be interesting or cute enough to chat with. It's bad enough we have trouble initiating contact, why cut the hands that feed us a little harmless attention?
GO with it, if you don't out-right insult them, they could take some pity on you and have you join in their reindeer games.
On the other hand NT's do get bent out of shape when rejected out right or (short/long term) because you miss their non-verbal cue's.
My lack of sensitivity for theses cues has cause many, many tears to fall.



poopylungstuffing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,714
Location: Snapdragon Ridge

17 Sep 2007, 12:36 pm

i have had a drink poured on me for reacting negatively to some drunken goombah who HAD to make the book I was reading his attention.



lupin
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 263

17 Sep 2007, 2:14 pm

That sounds to me like they were just being normally friendly and kind to you.

What I have noticed about NT people though is that they always foist their own interpretation of how you are feeling onto you. I don't think they have the mirror neurons to be able to understand that some of us just like being alone more than others.



poopylungstuffing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,714
Location: Snapdragon Ridge

17 Sep 2007, 3:22 pm

I tend to kinda go into auto-defense mode when people who I don't know, out of the blue want to sorta barge into my own little world.....I try to be polite, but it isn't always easy.

The guy WAS drunk...and being aggressive...and invading my personal space uninvited...at least that is how I perceived it at the time.



Nambo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,882
Location: Prussia

17 Sep 2007, 3:39 pm

I would have grinned like a dork then gone bright red hoping they would leave before my face exploded or spontaneously combusted.

And whats worst is the way NTs find it so fascinating, so they carry on staring at you like your some sort of scientific experiment whilst you just wish they would go away so you can stop going red.



poopylungstuffing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,714
Location: Snapdragon Ridge

17 Sep 2007, 5:18 pm

One of my pet peeves happens to be when people recognise that they ruffle your feathers so this means it is open season to continuoulsy pick and pick at you for whatever reason. I frequently come across people like that.



dime_jaguar
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 211

17 Sep 2007, 5:23 pm

you had a good opportunity to meet some new people, its thats what you wanted of course. me being a guy i would of started just being funny and trying to be interesting, but then again what guy wouldnt.


_________________
?The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results. ?


michel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2007
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 735
Location: Ecuador

17 Sep 2007, 5:40 pm

I would have seen it as an opportunity to meet new people, maybe make a friend out of the group. You can always use a new friend... :)



devster21
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: Twin Cities, MN

17 Sep 2007, 6:00 pm

I'm proud to be the first one to suggest this. Maybe they thought you were cute/mysterious?

I suppose I would have tried my best to strike up a conversation. In depends on the circumstance though, I wasn't there so I can't really say for sure.


_________________
I'm always looking for aspie friends. PM me if you want to chat.


Raptor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,997
Location: Southeast U.S.A.

17 Sep 2007, 7:59 pm

In the small handful of instances where a few girls have come uninvited and sat at a table with me (I’m a guy) I like it as long as they don’t act too silly. You know. Asking silly personal questions, whispering to each other about me, and giggling. I expect some silliness out of them and that’s cool but a little bit goes a long way. I can play along with that up to a point and I do my damndest to be nice. It can be a real tightrope walk at times when people come to me all the sudden and unexpectedly and start being social. :?

Be careful! If you’re really rude to them, intentional or otherwise, you’ll send a message that will get around to everyone real quick.

Don’t make the conditions you live under in having AS worse than they already are and don’t burn bridges that you might need to cross.


Zee wrote;

Quote:
But it's important to remember that, although we Aspies enjoy being alone, most NTs fear it, especially young women.


And how!
I don’t know how many times I’ve had someone inform me that they can’t very well go to a movie or out to eat by themselves.
In my case, I know on one hand that I should be more like that but on the other hand I don’t care enough. In a way I like the company of others and appreciate it when I have it but I don’t have to have it. Some times I don’t want it. I feel guilty about not wanting others around me at those times but that’s how it is.