I Want to Help Aspies!! !!

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Disease? Donate to curing autism? You probably wear mini skirts and makeup and scream all the time. We WOULD NOT get along.

It's a nice sentiment...but first please stop posting in 15 different colors....9 font sizes and writing things like SkoOl. It really bothers and confuses quite a few people here.

I think that the main thing you can do as an NT is to be kind and help aspies socialize with other people...realize that the primary deficit in AS is social ability...and that this same social ability is the predominant theme in middle and high school years...because of this, many people with AS wind up very lonely and depressed through these years of our lives. If you are able to do this, then you will be truely helpful

Yeah. I couldn't even read alot of that.

Look,you sound nice and I like how you want to help autistic people out.But like the other people have already said here,what if the autistic people don't WANT your help?They'd probally like to think of themselves as regualr persons.I know I do.

You also sound like a person who pities other people.If you check out the thread "Do you get mad over pity?" you will see that ALOT of people here don't like (or even HATE) pity.And I shall shut up now before some one gets mad at me.God bless!

SpaceCase

I don't want your charity. I am very offended and I think there are too many non-autistics on WP... Non-autistics have other places to hang out right...? And this is THE ONLY place I can hang out online...

If you are not autistic yourself, you should not try and "help" us, because you dont understand us, and how can you if you are neurotypical?

You could read a few books, try and talk to a few aspies (allthough I dont know how you would locate us in real life, as we look just like everyone else), then study alot of s**t, but you still wouldnt have a clue what it is or what it feels like. Even the so-called autism-experts can never be too educated, and they will never "get" us..

Please feel free to post more, but follow the norms and unwritten rules of "The Wrong Planet".

So what I am trying to say is that maybe you should "help" someone else. If not I am not sure I want to be on WP anymore....

Uh... as an Aspie in an Aspie forum I feel entitled to display some Aspie confusion... is she joking? My first thought was that this is another stupid flamer. My second thought was 'wow, all the Aspies in here are being nice and explaining this to her, maybe I'm overreacting'. Is everyone being really gullible in thinking she is genuinely trying to help, or am I just a little too exhausted with my own battle in trying to understand NT's that I have seen offense where there was none?

In other (hopefully less rambly) words, I don't have a disease, I don't want to be cured, and I believe I speak for the majority of dudes and dudettes on this forum. Yep. So donating to the cure foundations to help us would be like... like... none of the examples are bad enough, but kinda like me donating REALLY ugly clothes to you... only you HAVE to wear them. No choice. Nun's clothes. Ugly. Not 'Ko0lzorzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!11!11oneone!11!!1'

Yep.

No curebies.

Nu uh.

(If anyone thinks I have been too harsh then I'm sorry, but I'm having a bit of trouble with my rather neurotypical family at the moment, and it shows!)

I have a caregiver, which is refered to as my companion. I am unable to live independently and require assisted living. She helps me because she is my friend. My doctor assists her in understanding how to deal with some of my traits and some of my needs. It is extremely difficult for her, as I am extremely difficult to be around and even more difficult to live with. She has sometimes said that she is unable to help me and that I need to be in a controled environment for people with special needs, but she has not given up. I am not interested in a cure either and no one is trying to cure me, they are simply trying to make my life more comfortable.

She understands me better than anyone else, IRL, or online. She knows when I need to be alone and she gives me space. She researches thing, communicates with my doctor and most importantly, communicates with me. We have problems from time to time, but she is generally very sensitive to my needs and my difficulties. Simply put, she helps me in areas where I need help and those areas become obvious because they can frustrate me very quickly. This is just her way and she is the one human on this earth that I know IRL that has shown me that she is my friend, no matter what.

Not every Aspie needs, or wants help. It took a long time for me to accept that I need assistance with many of the things that others (many Aspies and NT's) take for granted. This acceptance has helped me because it reduces the stress that I experience when I try to do these things on my own. I do not however want other people trying to help me, unless of course I severely need it and my companion is not around (like if I were to have a seizure while watering the plants out front and was in danger). Somtimes though, like in social situations online I do need help interpretting things and I admit that, but the people who have helped me in those situations are ones that understand the difficulty I am having.

Anyhow, there is a lot that has to be considered when you say that you want to help Aspies. For instance, if you somehow were able to become a caregiver/companion to an Aspie that did need help, you may quickly find out that you are not able to do such a job and that would be very difficult for the person you were hired to help.

'Nough said, I ran out of words.

PhoenixKitten: Nicely said. I agree with what you are saying.


DeepThought: What do you mean with caregiver/companion?
My mother and social worker and some other people have suggested to me that I get a paid "friend" to help me meet some real friends. I have never felt so misunderstood and offended as when they suggested it... They still havent given up on the idea thats the worst part.
No one can buy a friend it is just so ridiculous.
But I dont mean that it is something wrong with YOU having one (caregiver). I just feel like ...

So where did this Christina go anyway? I want to hear what she has to say......

If someone was giving me crap at school, I wouldn't want someone to go "leave her alone, she's autisic", I'd want to clip anyone that said that over the ear.

I hate people feeling sorry for me.

I would like to be sympathised with, but people would still never understand.

berta,

My caregiver is my friend, but she is also in a way like a guardian. I REQUIRE assisted living and if I did not have a caregiver I would most likely have to be put into a special home for people with special needs. I am not allowed to handle my own money, she is my legal representative and has control over my income (I only get income from Social Security). That means that I cannot shop for myself. If I am left alone I will sometimes go for long periods of time without doing basic things like eating. She helps with that as well. She makes sure that I get any medical attention that I need if I need it. I am not nearly as fluent in my communication skills IRL as I am online and I sometimes go completely mute. She helps in that area also, as well as in certain situations that require more social interaction than what I am able to handle. If things are becoming too stressful for me she removes me from that situation, as there have been some bad incidents that occured because I was unable to remove myself. I do not have the ability to regulate my emotions, so if something is getting me upset to the point where there may be problems, she intervenes. If I have a seizure, she intervenes. If I have a major Tourette's attack she helps me get to a safe place to let it pass. If I overload and become non-functional I may wander off, she helps me get back if I need it. I have never been able to be independent and was supported by my mother until I was 36 years old. My caregiver has helped to take that burden off of my mom.

I too would be severely offended at the suggestion of getting a paid friend. My companion is not paid to be my companion, although she does consider it a job. It is strictly volunteer. In fact, she sacrifices her personal time and income for me quite often. She is a REAL friend, the only IRL real human friend I have ever had. I would never have someone pay for a friend for me and would probably walk out of the life of the person that suggested it forever. However, the few people who do know me IRL also know that I am not interested in having friends.

Okay, now I'm a bit confused. I'm not sure if I even "follow the norms and unwritten rules of WP" - as a matter of fact, I don't think I have ever followed anything close to normal in anything I've done (why should I & why would I want to?) and as for unwritten rules, if it isn't written down, you can bet I'm not aware of it.

While I don't like pity and hate the mind-set of "curing" autism, I know I could never treat another human being the way I have been treated, it's just not in my nature.

I suppose what I'm trying to say here is this; I think the best way to help autistics PrinCessChrisTinA, is to just try to be more accepting of anyone and everyone that may be different from the norm. My personal hope is that I can have the freedom to be who I am without being hassled.

"Unwritten rules" are one of the things that most Aspies have a lot of difficulty with. I think all of the rules for WP are definitely written out, simply because of this. I still haven't figured out what "norms" are, so I won't comment on that. The word keeps making me think of Cheers and a bar full of Norms that we all need to follow around.

There's nothing wrong with having non-aspies on an asperger forum, as that would make us just as bad as any site that discriminates against aspies. I certainly don't have a problem with NT's that are accepting to people with AS, I think it's great, and wish I could meet more of them.

I know you mean well, but obviously you're trying too hard. People just want acceptance, not cures. But IMO you're still welcome here.

Those people who are Aspies and believe that NTs should just go away, and that we should establish an Aspie homeland somewhere and such. Those people scare me. I personally believe that differences in brain functioning are no different than differences in skin color. To say that something should be NT only or Aspie only would be just like saying that something should be for white Americans only. Separation is not a solution.

Absolutely. You're not helping anyone by being just as bad to others as the ignorant people are to us. You're supposed to critisize NTs for a reason, not just for the sake of arguing. The fact that one that accepts us is on here is a sign of what were trying to achieve as working.

Instead of being mad at PrinCessChrisTinA for helping the wrong way, you should tell her what the right way is to help us. At least she's trying.

I didnt realize the rules were written down.. I meant the rules about typing and such.

But I still think that the site should be for aspies only. And maybe family members/parents. If their kids are really young. I wouldnt want my parents to read anything here, because then I would have no place to talk about stuff, and I would obviously delete every single post I had ever written.