Do you have sympathy? Or empathy?

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I think that both those things can be constructed by frequent practice. I definitely had to build it. My father wanted me to be more like him i.e. emotional but I was born more like his colder father who had zero sympathy for my kind father and I think that on a moral level, my aspie father was correct but on an efficiency level, my father was pretty stupid. In trying times, my original nature has come to my rescue. It's always there and the vulnerable side that was built can be turned off and I don't think it is disassociative disorder though it is similar because dd is created from escaping trauma through shutting off. I think I was disappointed in my home life at a very early age and I had an intellectual reaction to it. I still have blanks sometimes when I am slow to be motivated to act so constant practice in being sympathetic and empathetic is necessary otherwise the car naturally parks itself in neutral.

I can be sympathetic sometimes, but comforting people or knowing what to say when someone else is upset is really hard for me. Empathy doesn't come any more easily. I can care about other people and want to help them, but I'm much more comfortable providing support in a practical, financial, etc. sort of way. I'll help out people in need, and understand their reason for feeling bad, but it generally doesn't affect my emotions and I'm not really the one to pour your heart out to if you're hoping for helpful words and a hug.

Yes I can be very empathetic, almost too much, and I can give sympathy and want to help TOO much. Then at other times I feel numb and its nada, and I come out with blunt remarks which offend. I also have a tendency to try and want to solve the problem.

Hi, hope you don't mind if I join the convo - I myself am NT near as I can tell, but my 6 year old is an aspie.

I have been reading about this, it's very interesting - I believe (correct me if I'm wrong here, I'm new to all this) empathy is a function of "mirror neurons", which respond to the emotional state of those around us. (Some of this remains theory.)

Well, in my case, I think I have waaaaay too many of those I empathize with fictional characters as well as everyone around me.

In some ways I wish I were more like my son, who typically doesn't seem to understand the feelings of others (or, at least he doesn't respond to it if he does understand them). Seems like it would be easier on me emotionally if I could just logically "understand" their feelings, rather than internalize them. I often wonder what my real identity is like, since I'm always switching gears to "chameleonize" when I'm with others.

I can do both. I can empathize that someone was hurt and I can feel nothing. The nothing is always there though so if your son isn't emotional enough, he can practice reacting to things on tv so he will be connected to how NTs emote. Practice becomes habit after awhile.

Empathy means you can understand the feelings/situation of another person, right? And basically sympathy means you understand, and actually CARE?

Going by that I vary. I do get emotionally tied in to like fictional characters in a story (assuming it’s well written of course). And I can feel sympathy. Generally I get much more upset about large overall situations-social injustice, that sort of thing, than I do about individual situations, where a lot of times I don’t really feel anything in regards to sympathy. Not that I don’t want the situation to be improved, and not that I don’t care-I do, I just don’t necessarily react emotionally to it.

That very occasionally leads to me laughing at things inappropriately, as I’m really laughing at the absurdity of the horrible situation-doesn’t mean I don’t care!

In general I just try to fake what I’m supposed to say or whatever as best as I can. For all I know that’s what everyone does. Actually though I think I may care a lot more than many people do.

Another random thought-possibly this situation is why I’m at least as upset by bad things happening to adults as to children. I think most people are all emotionally tied up with “the CHIIIIIILDREN” and don’t seem to care about people once they reach adulthood. I care about EVERY decent person regardless of age, and the whole “children are more valuable than adults” thing ticks me off. I don’t usually have any particular emotional reaction to children than I would for adults (except for my own daughter, who I never get to see, but that’s a whole other story).
I guess I’m saying I care on a more intellectual level perhaps. I can get very emotional about more abstract things that are hurting people (dumping Mercury into the environment, taking away people’s healthcare, etc.).

I agree with pretty much everything Wolfpup has written but especially the above quote. I actually smile at news that is particularly fercockt. I even creep myself out when I do this although I know that I am not rejoicing over the news which usually has to be pretty horrific for me to react this way but yeah, that is how I have reacted. Maybe it is a defense mechanism. OOh. But news is pretty exhausting but I feel like there are all these signals about a grim future and I must know what is happening.

Sympathy means you've experienced a certain experience so you [kind of] know how another feels when they're in a similar position.

Empathy is kind of like a lie, you "feel" for others and their situation, but you don't know how they're feeling because you've never walked in similar shoes.

I don't have the second, at all (it's a social construct after all).

I have sempathy. It is a level 6 version of empathy/sympathy combined.

I genuinely don't know what the difference is between sympathy & empathy (& it's not about knowing the definitions, I mean that I don't know how they feel different from each other!)

I tend to get more upset if something happens to an animal (whether real or fictional) than to a person.

e.g. I would really feel it for someone if their cat got run over, & I actually cried when someone's horse had to be put down in a novel!

But if it was a person, I'd only be upset if I actually knew them.

I also agree with previous posters who say that they have more of a wider sense of justice than on individual situations, & that in the latter case they focus more on practicalities than emotions.

For example, last week I was witness to a car accident, & I was straight in there with "Hey, I saw that, & it was all his fault! Do you want me as a witness?" instead of "OMG, are you hurt?"

I suppose that's because if I had been the victim, that's what I would have wanted someone to say. Or maybe it's because I just can't do the caring bit. (And it was obvious that they were not hurt anyway!)